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Andy Lang
11-30-2001, 04:56 PM
http://inq.philly.com/content/inquirer/2001/11/30/national/JMAIL30.htm

They are now irradiating mail and killing my sperm which so many fans have requested.

First they prevent cloning myself, now this.

I guess it will have to be the old-fashioned way--snail sex.

Slow, but sure, a bit more fun, but a bit tiring and I'm getting old.

Anyone want a kid that is bright, cool, funny, not too bad looking and a pure play contrarian?

But what will I do with all this frozen sperm I have been collecting for so long?

Let's see, cross-species fertilization can occur and actually lead to a new species--just as Darwin said.

So anyone know of a good chimp for improving the human race?

Come to think of it, it doesnt even have to be a chimp--any four legged creature will do, if the obnjectove is simply to becvome smarter than say a Republican. No snakes though please--that's going backward towards the GOP.

How do snakes do it, anyway? Anybody actually seen them do it? Maybe they do it with two clappers, like Sharks, or they are unisexual like Seahorses, or maybe they simply divide like amoebas.

Some say that shark thing is how Dick Armey does it--and no jokes please.

Drzy
06-19-2002, 01:45 PM
I'm amazed no one ever replied to this. I guess we were all in shock.

Han Solo
06-19-2002, 01:49 PM
Rules to live by:
Don't tug on Superman's cape
Never spit into the wind
Never reply to an AL post

Pseudolus
06-19-2002, 01:50 PM
You forgot: Don't pull the mask off a Moderator

Crystal Dragon.
06-19-2002, 01:55 PM
and you don't mess around with Jim
ba da de dee deee dee do do do do dum

Mulan
06-19-2002, 01:58 PM
And never, ever, ever, have sex with a snail.... ewwww......

Pseudolus
06-19-2002, 01:59 PM
That sounds like the voice of experience.

Mulan
06-19-2002, 02:03 PM
That sounds like the voice of experience.:rolling:

Pi Man
06-19-2002, 02:43 PM
...you've been rolling with a snail? :o

Tom Servo
06-19-2002, 03:01 PM
Isn't that what got 42 banned?

Ducky
06-19-2002, 04:14 PM
Isn't that what got 42 banned?

Nah, he was banned just on general principle....