Things that make you a bad person (3)

[Big Jim Slade]

I'm feeling angry. As my oldest kid was getting near college age, my mom would always be like "I'll help with college expenses". So now, she's been there for a 1 1/2 years, and no money ever offered.

We can afford it, but it is a stretch.

Am I a bad person for being angry?

[SamTheEagle]

You have a great opportunity here. Make your daughter take out loans and get a job, and when mom kicks the bucket, there's more inheritance for you. Kid learns responsibility and you get extra cash money. Win-win.

[QMO]

I'm feeling angry. As my oldest kid was getting near college age, my mom would always be like "I'll help with college expenses". So now, she's been there for a 1 1/2 years, and no money ever offered.

We can afford it, but it is a stretch.

Am I a bad person for being angry?You should be angrier with your daughter than with your mother.
Your daughter should be supporting herself, and any help you want to or can give should be extra. Kind of like how you shouldn't need to depend on your mother any more.

(In all seriousness, don't be angry at either. I'm just giving you another perspective.)

[notreallyme]

I'm feeling angry. As my oldest kid was getting near college age, my mom would always be like "I'll help with college expenses". So now, she's been there for a 1 1/2 years, and no money ever offered.

We can afford it, but it is a stretch.

Am I a bad person for being angry?

No. Your mom on the other hand ......

[Big Jim Slade]

You have a great opportunity here. Make your daughter take out loans and get a job, and when mom kicks the bucket, there's more inheritance for you. Kid learns responsibility and you get extra cash money. Win-win.

She takes a fair amount of loans, has a job, has a decent scholarship/grant, but I still pay a little more out of pocket than the total state school room and board would be.

Maybe ma is feeling a little pinched. We never talked about money in my family growing up.

[Guest]

Maybe ma is feeling a little pinched.
There's a good chance she recently lost a fair chunk of her nest egg.

[Beaker]

You should shoot your mom and then steal all the money she has hidden under her mattress.

I think that could be construed as "bad".

[glassjaws]

Nothing wrong with taking something that was offered to you. It's like if you grant someone the ability to drive your car, but never rescind it, they can steal the car and be covered under your auto policy (or so I think I remember)

[DudeMan]

Am I a bad person for being angry?

You should be angry at yourself for not getting her promise in writing. NEVER trust family! :judge:

[Loner]

Are you sure she's not sending your daughter beer money?

But like Uma said, there's a good chance she recently lost a LOT of money and is not feeling as able to contribute.
OTOH she could have been waiting for you to ask.

[Loner]

And also, you might want to consider that assisted living is way more expensive than college and perhaps you're better off if she saves her money for that.

[Loner]

Out of curiosity, did your parents pay for your college, Jim?

[_BullDog_]

You should be angrier with your daughter than with your mother.
Your daughter should be supporting herself, and any help you want to or can give should be extra. Kind of like how you shouldn't need to depend on your mother any more.

:lol:

[Big Jim Slade]

Out of curiosity, did your parents pay for your college, Jim?

Let's see....I had loans, a great job, I think they sent some spending money every couple of months. Now I feel guilty, I never really needed more money. Just used it to party more, buy a motorcycle, things like that.

Oh, yeah. I also got some grants because we were so poor.

[Listeria]

There has to be some way you can simply come out and ask Ma what's up regarding this. I don't know what that way is, but the AO team may be able to help you come up with an approach, or even complete sentences. Does she have e-mail? That would be great.

[Big Jim Slade]

There has to be some way you can simply come out and ask Ma what's up regarding this. I don't know what that way is, but the AO team may be able to help you come up with an approach, or even complete sentences. Does she have e-mail? That would be great.

You know, now that I think about it, i remember she gave the daughter $1,000 at her graduation party and her saying "this is for college". Could this be it? I bet it is.:lol:

I'll bet she's in a senior's time warp.

Oh, e-mail, my mom, funny. Just got back from "fixing" her TV. For the 100th time mom, put the tv on 3, and change the channel with the converter.