Degrees and spouse

[Anonymous]

Do you think your education degree should not be too far from your spouse's? Like mine's BS and my spouse have BS, MS and JD... Should I get a MS or MBA so there's not that big of a gap?

[Anonymous]

Definitely.

You have to close gap as soon as possible, or big trouble.

Hurry. Get MBA.

[Anonymous]

Are you going to be OK that your spouse ends up making more money than you? I have more letters after my name than my spouse, neither she nor I care about the letters, and she is happy that it has translated into extra $$$$$.

[Gretchen]

I don't think the number of degrees really matters. Having somewhat compatible 'intelligence' can make a difference, and degrees may be some indication of that, but are certainly not definitive.

Also, the fact that someone has more letters after their name does not necessarily translate into more money. The only degree I have is a BS (plus FSA); my husband has BS, MS, MBA, and ScD (Doctor of Science - comparable to PhD, just from a different school). However, he has chosen to be a professor at a small liberal arts college, where the pay is pretty crummy. His salary is less than half of mine (about 1/3, when you add in my bonus). Very frustrating to him, but reality.

[Anonymous]

Gretch:

You make the big dough, momma!

I wish I woulda married ya!

I'm a loser!

[Gretchen]

Or maybe my husband just makes the little dough. The point is that salaries frequently have little/nothing to do with number of degrees, but more to do with specific jobs, locations, firms, etc. No-one should assume that more degrees automatically equals more money.

[Dr T Non-Fan]

I don't think he's ok with it. Some work has to be done on his part to accept this. Nothing we can do short of advising counseling will change his mind.

[Anonymous]

I recently ran accross a business person's letters after their name: LDMS

The answer to my enquiry was "Letters don't mean s..."

[Anonymous]

T -

I agree that counseling is in order for this fella.

I am a shrink in real life.

I will do the counseling pro-bono.

[Anonymous]

Some of you automatically thinks I'm "he" but in fact...I'm a girl... My spouse and I have no problems with these titles (given that I will achieve my ASA/FSA, eventually..)
His pay will be more than double of mine easily... but I was wondering how the others would see this?

[Oh Yeah]

Just stay home and make babies. You can use that as an excuse.

[Anonymous]

Others will be shocked and mortified.

You must get MBA. Fast.

[Dr T Non-Fan]

Women are usually more level-headed about these things. I went with the odds.

Please switch the genders of all my pronouns, and change "counselling" to "institutionalized." If you are female, and you have a problem with this, only heavy medication and constant observation will help you.

[Ling]

On 2001-09-17 16:00, Anonymous wrote:
Some of you automatically thinks I'm "he" but in fact...I'm a girl... My spouse and I have no problems with these titles (given that I will achieve my ASA/FSA, eventually..)
His pay will be more than double of mine easily... but I was wondering how the others would see this?


I have no problem with this. The more money he makes, the more quickly I can achieve my goal in life: To be a Lady of Leisure!

[Dr T Non-Fan]

OK, I read too much into this. you're not crazy. Sorry about that jacket. And rubber room. All forgiven? No hard feelings? No permanent trauma? (If there is, then back you go.)

Answer: No. Do what you want to do. No laws or even social issues against disparate degrees. If YOU have an issue with it, then YOU should do something about it.

And don't take the advice of the people here! (Except for this last bit, of course.)

[Anonymous]

Don't worry about the extra degrees. YOu are entitled to half in any event, so just sit back and spend it!!!!!

[Take 2]

Spouse 1, en route to MBA, we mutually agreed to focus on my FSA. Later, California (community property) divorce, court said half the difference was hers for LIFE. (And she's not likely to remarry.) Ouch!

Spouse 2 has no degree, stays home, creates craft designs (has sold several). We agree -- letters don't measure true value; schools don't have the tools to gauge what's most important. She's back to college this fall, studying whatever she likes (landscaping).

[mikey]

"His pay will be more than double of mine easily... but I was wondering how the others would see this?"

The Others from that Nicole Kidman movie?

Who cares. Do what you want. If you are that worried about letters/degrees, what you need is perspective not more letters/degrees.

We just been proven that our firemen/policemen/ironworkers are better people than all of us and they don't have MBA's.

[Anonymous]

Degrees don't really matter. I know a lot of JD's that make less than me, and I'm a four-exam student with 2 years of experience.

[Griffin 1]

On 2001-09-17 14:55, Anonymous wrote:
Do you think your education degree should not be too far from your spouse's?

My degrees and my spouse's degrees are all sitting at the bottom of the same drawer. So no, they are not too far away from each other.

[Loner]

Anonymous,
Check your pronouns. They're not consistent.

[Jonas Grumby]

Pseudolus

You funny enough make me laugh like hell over and over. Got it?

Jonas

[Homer]

On 2001-09-17 15:16, Pseudolus wrote:
Gretch:

You make the big dough, momma!

Mmmmm ... big dough.

[Ammie]

My degrees and my spouse's degrees are all sitting at the bottom of the same drawer. So no, they are not too far away from each other.

:lol: Ours are back to back lying on the floor in some corner of the bedroom

[Polly Nomial]

You are worried about differing letters after your names or the fact that one spouse makes more than other? This is only a problem if you make it into one. Heck, it doesn't even make for an interesting discussion! How about say an actuary married to a janitor? Let's make the janitor intelligent and well read. Could this marriage work?

[Mulan]

I make more money...he has more degrees...so we are even!

[BigMactuary,]

My arbitrage strategy is marrying rich. I dont care if she's a PhD or a high school drop out as long as she is rich!!!

Show me the monneeyy!

[jets fan]

I'm competitive in a lot of situations with my wife/friends, ex = card games, fooseball, football games, Taboo, etc. But money is where I draw the line - I could care less how much someone else makes. I think people that compare themselves to others in that regard are insecure.

[Griffin 1]

Don't worry, jets fan, I'm sure some day you will make as much as your spouse.

[jets fan]

Nice!

[Anon67]

"Do you think your education degree should not be too far from your spouse's?"

Yes.

I've been looking back at the different actuarial students that I've worked with over the years. I was surprised to realize that the majority (needless to say this is a small sample size) of female students that I've worked with, with a blue-collar husband, stopped writing about half-way through the exams.

I remember when a co-worker that I had a lot of respect for at work stopped writing. When we asked her why, she said that her husband didn't like her to study in the evening or on weekends and so she only studied on her study days which wasn't enough to pass. He felt that work happened 9-5 and the rest of the time she should spend with him.

I was really shocked when she told me this. It actually stunned me that people could think this way. If I suggest to my husband that we go out and do something too close to the exam, he would actually say "no" as he feels that I should be studying.

My point is, it's probably not the degree that matters, it's an attitude to education. For most professionals, work is not just bringing home the bacon, work is part of their lifestyle. If you are married to someone to doesn't think that way, it can really hinder your progress professionally. Love isn't everything! I really need a well-balanced life at home and professionally to be happy.

Just my opinion, of course!

[Maine-iac]

Number of degrees and/or salary should make no difference. But degree of intelligence, and attitude toward education DOES matter. Although with sufficient work and the right outlook from both parties, any match can be made to work, I have seen quite a bit of unhappiness in marriages of unequal cleverness. One partner either ends up talking rings around the other one, and the other begins to feel stupid, or the more clever partner just starts censoring things they say for fear of making the other feel inferior. You can appreciate the less clever partner for their warmth, caring, and any other fine attributes they may possess, but the feeling that they aren't smart enough is often like a cancer on a relationship.

That said, degrees and income are NOT necessarily measures of cleverness and a facile mind.

[jets fan]

I think we could even broaden the issue from 'degree of intelligence/attitude towards intelligence' to 'respecting your spouse's needs/desires'. To me, such respect is a sign of intelligence - it shows the ability to step out of your own shoes and into someone else's. You' don't need some kind of degree to do this, but you do need an open mind.

Anon67, you DID indicate that you were discussing a 'small sample size', but I think you may want to be careful about listing specific examples. I think there are just as many examples of where such a relationship does work out and the relationship is a strong, healthy one. But like I said earlier, this usually requires a high level of respect for your spouse's lifestyle.

[Waylon]

I think all this college education is a bunch of BS. Get the minimum degree you need to get into the field you want and start working. The only way to learn something is to do it.

[Harry]

On 2002-02-26 14:44, Waylon wrote:
I think all this college education is a bunch of BS. Get the minimum degree you need to get into the field you want and start working. The only way to learn something is to do it.


I think those actuarial exams are a bunch of BS. The only way to learn something is to do it.