Out of the Mouths of Babes

[yanz]

At dinner Xmas eve, as we sit down to the salad course, the 3 yr old at the table picks up a spinnach leaf and asks his mom "mom, is this a leaf?"
Mom: yes honey, it's a leaf.
3 yr old: I want some real food!

[Examinator]

Shirt is pronounced sh*t.

Pants are somehow pronounced b*tch.

Makes for a fun trip through the kids' clothing section in any store.

[Gentle Giant]

To follow, "fish" is pronounced "piss".
"Car" is pronounced "cow" (something that even my boy finds humorous).

[JMO]

My nephew (who is a daddy now and would be embarassed if he knew I was posting it) couldn't say truck. The tr sound came out as f. His mother was mortified.

[Pseudolus]

[toddler, looking out window at bird feeder]Daddee? Is that a... a nighttime pigeon or a daytime pigeon?

[me, after looking out window]Honey, that's a mourning dove.

[llcooljabe]

Shirt is pronounced sh*t.

Pants are somehow pronounced b*tch.

Makes for a fun trip through the kids' clothing section in any store.

My daughter says Sit like shit. She is a very cute hostess, when we get guests she often invites them to sit down, but she says "Shit, shit!" Very amusing. I often have to translate to appease the shock of the guest.

[Browncoat]

On the way home from Church yesterday, my almost-five-year-old pipes up: "Why does Jesus want us to go to jail?"

Boy, what a question. "Um. . .excuse me?"

He: "Well, Jesus made everything. . ."
Me: "Yeah"
He: "Well, this car goes up to 100, but if we go that fast, we'll go to jail."

Had a good chuckle over that, and I was impressed with his reasoning. So he and I had a talk about what "Jesus made everything" means.

[LossLimit]

I took a scissor and was about to cut my 3 year old's hair, "I'm nervous" she says. Now where'd she get that from? She should be nervous, I'm teaching myself haircutting on her....

[Lois Lane]

my 3-year-old has been learning about dinosaurs in preschool. she has a babysitter named Sarah.

superbaby: today we talked about triceratops at school.
lois: you did?
superbaby: yeah, but it was dinosaur "cera", not our "sarah".

[Actuarial Groupie]

several years back my 6 yro stepdaughter and 5yo neice were playing at our house, and I overheard them arguing about something - my neice fires back to my stepdaughter with "You're not the boss of me! I'm the boss of me! And God is the boss of everybody!" words to live by I guess

[llcooljabe]

My daughter turns 2 a month from today. We recently hired a full time babysitter. She's an older woman who raised 8 children of her own. But she's gotten soft in her old age. My daughter completely bosses her around.

Last week, my sitter started complaining to my wife of back pain due to a fall in our house. My wife was immediately concerned, of course and asked what happened.

We had purchased our daughter a mini table and chairs (http://www.relevantmagazine.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=491&p=18501&e=18501), that are clearly not for adults. So anyway, one day last week, my daughter pulls out a chair for the sitter so that she can sit and play with her at the table. She pulls it out and says "sit, sit! sit sit!" The sitter starts sitting down and at the last minute, my daughter pulled the chair away.

Luckily the sitter won't sue.

[Seasons Beatings]

like.. toddlers are stupid. they can't even talk properly or read. they should smarten up

[Samantha]

As we are sharing the bathroom this morning

Older daughter: Mommy, why do you wear make up?
Me: Oh, because it makes my skin look smoother and prettier, more like yours. Grown up ladies like to wear make up to make them look prettier.

Younger daughter: Mommy, I don't think you need to wear make up. You don't look that bad.

[JAS]

I was playing with my nieces and nephews on Monday. After a couple hours of Simon Says and Hide and Go Seek, my oldest neice (6) decides its bible story time. She puts a disc in the player that gives a sermon and has all of us sit and stare at the player. After about 10 minutes, my oldest nephew (3) turns to me and waves. So the 6-year old punches him in the face for not paying attention to Jesus.

[Frenchie]

I was playing with my nieces and nephews on Monday. After a couple hours of Simon Says and Hide and Go Seek, my oldest neice (6) decides its bible story time. She puts a disc in the player that gives a sermon and has all of us sit and stare at the player. After about 10 minutes, my oldest nephew (3) turns to me and waves. So the 6-year old punches him in the face for not paying attention to Jesus.

:rofl:

So, were you torn between reprimanding the 6-yo or laughing? I'm sure the 3-yo didn't think it was funny...

[Chubbs]

I have an inlaw who is morbidly obese. One day my daughter (3 at the time) pointed at my inlaw's arm and aksed very politely, "Why are you huge here"?

We all just sat there quietly for a moment while she stammered about for an answer. She finally pointed out that she eats more than she should.

So my my daughter nodded and pointed at her leg, "Well why are you huge here?"

[JAS]

:rofl:

So, were you torn between reprimanding the 6-yo or laughing? I'm sure the 3-yo didn't think it was funny...

I didn't do either just went upstairs and said I was done playing for a while.

[Kaia]

Omg, I'm crying. Both JAS and Chubbs, that's hysterical.

[Lois Lane]

me, too - i busted out laughing just as my boss walked in.

[LoneGirl]

I have an inlaw who is morbidly obese. One day my daughter (3 at the time) pointed at my inlaw's arm and aksed very politely, "Why are you huge here"?

We all just sat there quietly for a moment while she stammered about for an answer. She finally pointed out that she eats more than she should.

So my my daughter nodded and pointed at her leg, "Well why are you huge here?"

I went to a wedding one time and the bride was rather large. She was a kindergarten teacher, so she had invited all of her students to the wedding. I still remember, as she was walking down the aisle, one little boy says really loudly "wow Mom, she looks just like a beluga whale!" The mother was absolutely mortified. Fortunately, I don't think the bride heard him. But everyone sitting within 10 pews of him heard. :lol:

[Frenchie]

Yesterday, FH & I went grocery shopping. We decided it was time that we started taking our vitamins and such since we're .....well, since we're no longer in our 20s. We also realized that we need to find a way to get MM the calcium she needs because she doesn't really go for milk so much. When we got home, FH started explaining to MM that drinking milk and taking vitamins was important because she was going through "adolescence". The term confused her and we tried leading her towards what it meant by explaining that it was in the book she's been reading about her body. Her face lit up as she realized what we were talking about - "Oh, you mean areola!" :yikes: :rofl:

Yeah, for all you folks with the cute little kids and the innocent things they say - it gets a lot funnier but less G-rated as they get older!!!

[Browncoat]

:lolup:

Did I tell you about my coworker's 5 yo who decided to rename her cat, "Nipples"? Coworker left the table to avoid laughing at her. Mrs Coworker explained to her DD what nipples are. "Oh. Well I guess we can't name her that then." "No." "That'd be like calling her 'Vagina'". :yikes:

[Frenchie]

:lolup:

Did I tell you about my coworker's 5 yo who decided to rename her cat, "Nipples"? Coworker left the table to avoid laughing at her. Mrs Coworker explained to her DD what nipples are. "Oh. Well I guess we can't name her that then." "No." "That'd be like calling her 'Vagina'". :yikes:

:lol:

After the areola comment, MM proceeded to explain that men didn't have nipples. FH had to correct her on this part as well. I was no help as I was cracking up at the whole conversation!

[JMO]

My cats are named Virgina and Nibbles. j/k

[QMO]

So, my 3-year-old is in preschool 3 hours/week.

She was telling my wife about how they were singing a song together about how each person is special. Then she says, "How I'm special is I don't sing."

[Gentle Giant]

We recently uncovered a Beanie-Baby-style stuffed animal that looks like a kiwi bird. Yeah, like Phil's avatar, but more cute:
http://www.actuarialoutpost.com/actuarial_discussion_forum/customavatars/avatar59_6.gif

Anyway, Mommy had forgotten what they were called and told the 2yo that he could ask Daddy what it was when I got home, "but I think it's a dodo bird."

I get home and explain that it's a kiwi bird, which is just as fun to say as dodo bird.

That night, our son woke up at 4:00 am (instead of his usual 7am). Mommy went up to comfort him and make sure he was OK. He had the kiwi bird with him, and Mommy accidentally referred to it as a dodo bird. Our son corrects her, and then says something like this:

"It's a kiwi bird not a dodo bird Mommy called it a dodo bird but it's not a dodo bird it's a kiwi bird Mommy said it wrong it's not a dodo bird silly Mommy it's a kiwi bird, teet teet! not a dodo bird it's a kiwi bird..." and so on for the next 3-4 minutes, at which point he had to breathe.

[Browncoat]

If we ever move (and I hope we do), we have to make sure the new house also has a "run around". You know...the kids can run from the living room into the dining room, turn left into the kitchen, turn left into the hallway, left into the foyer, and left back into the living room.

Last night, the three older ones (5, 4, and 2 1/2) started running. Sometimes they just do a couple laps. Last night, they were running for 20 minutes! And giggling and playing and just being as cute as they know how.

Good times.

[Gentle Giant]

If we ever move (and I hope we do), we have to make sure the new house also has a "run around". You know...the kids can run from the living room into the dining room, turn left into the kitchen, turn left into the hallway, left into the foyer, and left back into the living room.

Last night, the three older ones (5, 4, and 2 1/2) started running. Sometimes they just do a couple laps. Last night, they were running for 20 minutes! And giggling and playing and just being as cute as they know how.

Good times. :iatp:

And we have one of these.

[JMO]

:iatp:

And we have one of these.
We had one, too. My husband and the dog used to play tag around it. Good times, indeed.

[Steve Grondin]

If we ever move (and I hope we do), we have to make sure the new house also has a "run around". You know...the kids can run from the living room into the dining room, turn left into the kitchen, turn left into the hallway, left into the foyer, and left back into the living room.

Last night, the three older ones (5, 4, and 2 1/2) started running. Sometimes they just do a couple laps. Last night, they were running for 20 minutes! And giggling and playing and just being as cute as they know how.

Good times.
What I love is how they stack up when you are chasing them and reverse directions.

[Browncoat]

What I love is how they stack up when you are chasing them and reverse directions.

:rofl: Don't forget the accompanying screams!

[Samantha]

Browncoat's geeky thread reminded me, although I may have posted this before:

I was watching an old movie with my kids a while back. Now keep in mind that an :qunq: old movie :qunq: to my kids is one that was made before 1990. :shake:

Anyway, a girl was dialing a telephone. My kids looked puzzled and asked, "Mom, what is she DOING?"

[Frenchie]

We had one, too. My husband and the dog used to play tag around it. Good times, indeed.

You can do this from kitchen, to breakfast nook, to entrance hall and FH and dog usually do this. It makes it all the more amusing b/c it's all tile so the dog is skidding everywhere! I just close my eyes and wait for the thud!

[J.T.]

Today, while at lunch with extended family, MIL tells me and son that son has to wear green tomorrow for St. Patty's Day because he's part Irish.

I had no knowledge of family's history, so I asked about it for a while, when I looked over and explained to son that my family is historically German.

He asks what German is, and I explain that our ancestors came from Germany to the U.S. Then he asks what Germany is and I explain it's a country.

His remark...I came for the country of your tummy. That's where I came from. :rofl:

Two minutes later...Mom, was I wet when I came out. I was unconscious during delivery so I tell him to ask his dad. Dad replies with a very much so, and son's remark. Mom, you musta drank a lot with me in order to get me so wet. :rofl: again.

[Gentle Giant]

Friday, Son goes to pantry, takes out a can of baby corn and walks into the half-bath.

He sets the can down in his little potty, sits down and gets back up, exclaiming to himself, "Did you poop a can of baby corn? Silly boy!"

[Gentle Giant]

Oh, and related to this thread (http://www.actuarialoutpost.com/actuarial_discussion_forum/showthread.php?t=132506), On Saturday, we went outside to play. Mommy exclaims, "It's a sunny day today." Son looks up and notices something else in the sky as well, replying, "It's a moony day, mommy!"

[Browncoat]

Friday, Son goes to pantry, takes out a can of baby corn and walks into the half-bath.

He sets the can down in his little potty, sits down and gets back up, exclaiming to himself, "Did you poop a can of baby corn? Silly boy!"

:rofl:

That is a riot!

[Anitha Desai]

Friday, Son goes to pantry, takes out a can of baby corn and walks into the half-bath.

He sets the can down in his little potty, sits down and gets back up, exclaiming to himself, "Did you poop a can of baby corn? Silly boy!"
:lol: Looks like your son will grow up to be very interesting. Stubborn, rambunctious, with a great sense of humor!

[Gentle Giant]

:lol: Looks like your son will grow up to be very interesting. Stubborn, rambunctious, with a great sense of humor! :tup: Mommy is keeping a diary of all the cute things he says or does. I'm only posting the ones I can remember.

[Browncoat]

On the way home from church yesterday we were playing "I'm thinking of a person" in the car. My 5 and 4 yo's aren't great at asking the right kinds of questions yet, but when it was my 4 yo's turn, this's the way he played:

He: "I'm thinking of a person. It's a girl."
Me: "Well, you could make us ask if it's a boy or girl, but that's okay."
He: "She goes to church with us."
He: "She's a grown up."
He: "She's married to Mr. Connor."
Me: :lol: "Is it Mrs Connor?"
He: Yeah! Good guess, Dad!

[Samantha]

My youngest is recovering from the flu, as I've mentioned. She's home from school today as she still has a bit of fever and cough.

She ate a little breakfast, and I'm trying to get her to drink lots of fluids. I had some sprite, but it was a little flat and she didn't care for it. So I took some pineapple juice and mixed it with ginger ale. I told her it was "Feel Better Punch" She really likes it.

I went to pick up her breakfast dishes and said, "You didn't eat much!" She picked up her drink and said, "I know Mom, I am just so distracted by the GOODNESS of this!!"

She cracks me up

[Chillax]

I was playing "Mommy and baby" with my four year old niece over the weekend. Of course, she was the mommy. At one point she said, "I'm going to the store baby, I'll be right back!" and then came back in less than three seconds. I said "Wow! That was fast!"

She looked at me so seriously and said, "Mommies are REALLY fast." It was the cutest thing ever.

[Gene Yuss]

I don't know why I just thought of this story now...maybe because baseball season is under way.

Summer of 2006 - conversation about baseball with my then 6 yo. I may be getting the teams and/or orders mixed up, but it went something like this:

Me: So, kiddo, what's your favorite team?
Kid: Mets
Me: and then?
Kid: My 2nd favorite is the Yankees, my 3rd favorite is the Red Sox (Yeah, kids can be fickle) and my 4th favorite is the Cubs
Me: and who is your 5th favorite?
Kid: I don't have a 5th favorite, but my 6th favorite is...

I don't remember what he said. But I thought that last line was very funny (he was being serious when he said that of course). Oh, and I was toying with putting this in the innumeracy thread, but I could never do that to my own kid...

[Browncoat]

:lol:

[zeroEthix]

When my nephew was pretty little, his mom was making a whole chicken to put in the oven. It was sitting on the counter and my nephew was staring at it for the longest time. His mom asked him what he was thinking. He pointed to the hole where all the insides got taken out of and said, "That must have been a BIG bullet."
Spanish speakers will appreciate this: my nephew, 2 years old, went to Disneyland and yelled out PUTO! instead of PLUTO!

[Actuary321]

I don't know why I just thought of this story now...maybe because baseball season is under way.

Summer of 2006 - conversation about baseball with my then 6 yo. I may be getting the teams and/or orders mixed up, but it went something like this:

Me: So, kiddo, what's your favorite team?
Kid: Mets
Me: and then?
Kid: My 2nd favorite is the Yankees, my 3rd favorite is the Red Sox (Yeah, kids can be fickle) and my 4th favorite is the Cubs
Me: and who is your 5th favorite?
Kid: I don't have a 5th favorite, but my 6th favorite is...

I don't remember what he said. But I thought that last line was very funny (he was being serious when he said that of course). Oh, and I was toying with putting this in the innumeracy thread, but I could never do that to my own kid...Come on he isn't innumerate, he fully recognizes that there is a 5th favorite spot it is just unfilled.

[Pseudolus]

Not-quite-three-year-old and not-quite-one-year-old were exchanging nonsense syllables. Then:

Me: What are you two talking about?

NQ2YO (quite seriously): We're talking about my life and my heart that beats.

What am I supposed to say to that?

[Gene Yuss]

On the way home from church yesterday we were playing "I'm thinking of a person" in the car. My 5 and 4 yo's aren't great at asking the right kinds of questions yet, but when it was my 4 yo's turn, this's the way he played:

He: "I'm thinking of a person. It's a girl."
Me: "Well, you could make us ask if it's a boy or girl, but that's okay."
He: "She goes to church with us."
He: "She's a grown up."
He: "She's married to Mr. Connor."
Me: :lol: "Is it Mrs Connor?"
He: Yeah! Good guess, Dad!

You gotta love the innocence of children... I like the way he gives you the answer but doesn't realize how obvious it is.

Kind of like when I play hide and seek with my younger son, who doesn't quite grasp the concept of the game. When it's his turn to hide, he tells me exactly where he's going to hide and then asks me to find him. Gee, I wonder, where could you be?...

[Lois Lane]

Not-quite-three-year-old and not-quite-one-year-old were exchanging nonsense syllables. Then:

Me: What are you two talking about?

NQ2YO (quite seriously): We're talking about my life and my heart that beats.

What am I supposed to say to that?wow. i think i would have been speachless, too.

[Gentle Giant]

Not-quite-three-year-old and not-quite-one-year-old were exchanging nonsense syllables. Then:

Me: What are you two talking about?

NQ2YO (quite seriously): We're talking about my life and my heart that beats.

What am I supposed to say to that?Wow... it's true. Siblings within a certain age span really do have their own language. :tfh:

[tbug]

To follow, "fish" is pronounced "piss".
"Car" is pronounced "cow" (something that even my boy finds humorous).

reminds me . . . my niece pronounces kitty "titty"

took me a while to figure out what she was talking about

[hd]

Conversation a few weeks ago with a friend's almost 4 year old:

In the car on the way to lunch:
Her: "Look, my toenails are pink!"
Me: "My toenails aren't painted."
Her: "Why not?"
Me: "I don't know."
Her: "Because you don't have any paint." (statement, not question)

A little while later, at lunch, discussing alligators:
Me: "I don't really like any animals that might eat my toes."
Her: "Because then you could never paint them!"
<laughter>
Her, serious: "Also, if it ate your hands."

[hotkarl]

reminds me . . . my niece pronounces kitty "titty"

took me a while to figure out what she was talking about

My boy does that...

One of his favorite question to ask strangers is if they like big kitties.

:shake:

[Browncoat]

My boy does that...

One of his favorite question to ask strangers is if they like big kitties.

:shake:

And, are we to understand from the : shake : emoticon that you're claiming you didn't teach him that? :shake2:

[hotkarl]

And, are we to understand from the : shake : emoticon that you're claiming you didn't teach him that? :shake2:

he learned it all on his own. That is not to say that I don't tell him to repeat it.

[1695814]

seven year old announces the other day, "I have some good news and some bad news...[pause]...well, actually, it's just bad news."

[ana]

my neice is ~20 months old right now and my sister (her mom) was sitting on a hard wood floor playing with her. Her mom farts and my neice looks at her and says "beep beep". She farts again and my neice again says "beep beep".

I guess her farts sound like car horns.

[Lois Lane]

hubby's been teaching our 3yo about different types of doctors - you see a dentist if your tooth hurts, you go to a pediatrician if you are a kid, etc. she fell down and landed on her bottom yesterday and shouted out to me, "mommy, i broke my butt. i think i need to see a butt doctor."

(and then hubby corrects her, "that kind of doctor is called a proctologist.")

[Browncoat]

My 2 1/2 yo was walking out of the room, stopped, and turned to look at us. She said, "I'll be right back." But she did it very deliberately, like if it was us talking to her. "I'll be. Right. Back."

I smiled and asked her where she was going.

"I have to pee on the potty. But I'll be. Right. Back."

:lol: She's so cute.

[KandaBer]

I told my 3yo that if he didn't wear socks, he would have bare feet.

He looks at me and says, very seriously, "No, Daddy, I have people feet."

[1695814]

hubby's been teaching our 3yo about different types of doctors - you see a dentist if your tooth hurts, you go to a pediatrician if you are a kid, etc. she fell down and landed on her bottom yesterday and shouted out to me, "mommy, i broke my butt. i think i need to see a butt doctor."

(and then hubby corrects her, "that kind of doctor is called a proctologist.")It was a million-to-one shot, Doc, a million-to-one.

[Browncoat]

RN :tup:

[LoneGirl]

Just out of the blue, my 3 year old niece told her mom "when fish sticks grow up, they become chicken nuggets." :)

[JAS]

Just out of the blue, my 3 year old niece told her mom "when fish sticks grow up, they become chicken nuggets." :)

:shake: See, this is what happens when they stop teaching evolution.

[Spider Pig]

:shake: See, this is what happens when they stop teaching evolution.

I don't think 3 year olds have ever been taught evolution in day care. Maybe after Hillary is elected.

[JAS]

I will vote for anyone that runs on a platform of making it mandatory to teach three year olds in day care that fish sticks EVOLVE into chicken nuggets. :judge:

Won't somebody think of the children?

[Spider Pig]

I was talking to a 3 year old the other day, he said when democrats evolve they turn into republicans. Or did he say grow up, I can't remember.

[carrot]

I was talking to a 3 year old the other day, he said when democrats evolve they turn into republicans. Or did he say grow up, I can't remember.
Maybe it was "retire".

[Lois Lane]

:capn:

[Browncoat]

You're child said that, Lois? Neato. ;)

[schleprock]

The other day, I park the car and walk around to get my 4yo out of his car seat. I open the door and he's got his finger up near his nose.

Me: Get your finger out of your nose.
Him (triumphantly): It wasn't in my nose, it was in my mouth.
Me: Oh. Well what's it doing in your mouth?
Him: Booger.

[Jables]

:rofl:

[Loner]

My niece saw an iron in the laundry room and said to my sister, "Mommy, what is that thing?"

[LoneGirl]

My niece saw an iron in the laundry room and said to my sister, "Mommy, what is that thing?"

When my cousin was little, he came home from school one day and said to my aunt "hey mom, we had cookies at school today! They were really good. They were something called "homemade"! ".

[_BullDog_]

:lol:

[Steve Grondin]

My niece saw an iron in the laundry room and said to my sister, "Mommy, what is that thing?"
My brother (who was about 4 at the time) asked the same thing about the tablecloth at our paternal grandmother's house. My mom was mortified.

[Lois Lane]

My brother (who was about 4 at the time) asked the same thing about the tablecloth at our paternal grandmother's house. My mom was mortified.leave it to our kids to reveal how uncivilized we are. when i got sick of the mess in our living room/dining room/family room, i told preschooler we should clean up. she said, "why? is someone coming over?"

[Anitha Desai]

leave it to our kids to reveal how uncivilized we are. when i got sick of the mess in our living room/dining room/family room, i told preschooler we should clean up. she said, "why? is someone coming over?"
:lol: That's completely normal at our house. My son's almost 9and STILL says that everytime I say we need to clean up! Usually, he's right. We are having someone over. ;-)

[Frenchie]

I recently went vegetarian in efforts to get back on track w/my diet. One night, FH cooked up some chicken wings and he and MM chowed down. I was washing up my dishes when MM said something about me not eating meat and I said "Well, I did it because I am trying to eat healthier and lose some weight..." Her reply "Woman, please. Eat some meat and go take a walk!" I am surprised she did not get impaled in the eye with the chicken bone in FH's mouth! :lol:

[Anitha Desai]

I recently went vegetarian in efforts to get back on track w/my diet. One night, FH cooked up some chicken wings and he and MM chowed down. I was washing up my dishes when MM said something about me not eating meat and I said "Well, I did it because I am trying to eat healthier and lose some weight..." Her reply "Woman, please. Eat some meat and go take a walk!" I am surprised she did not get impaled in the eye with the chicken bone in FH's mouth! :lol:
:lol: She has a good head on her shoulders.

[Steve Grondin]

... "why? is someone coming over?"
This is why we don't go too long without inviting someone to come over. We'd never clean up otherwise.:spnner:

[working girl]

The other night my two year old asked if he could have dessert (bad influence from our older children) and my husband said No because he hadn't eaten his dinner. So the two year old says "Don't say no say yes". Can't say he doesn't know how to argue that point!

[hotkarl]

Yesterday, while observing some local construction, my son noticed a worker who would attach the I-beams to the end of the crane so that they could be lifted. He then stated "I wanna be a hooker driver when I grow up".

[Browncoat]

Anyone else have problems with their kids yelling, "No Kissing!!" when they smooch each other?

Every time I sneak a kiss from Mrs Browncoat, three voices chime up. If I linger, they'll force themselves between us and push us apart. It's usually pretty funny.

One night, after I had put the older ones to bed, as I was kissing Mrs Browncoat, the baby started crying. So, even she's in on it.

[Hukleberry]

Anyone else have problems with their kids yelling, "No Kissing!!" when they smooch each other?

Every time I sneak a kiss from Mrs Browncoat, three voices chime up. If I linger, they'll force themselves between us and push us apart. It's usually pretty funny.

One night, after I had put the older ones to bed, as I was kissing Mrs Browncoat, the baby started crying. So, even she's in on it.
We used to do that to my parents. Actually, we still do.

[Pills]

Conversation with my 19 month old as I was drying her after her bath last week:

Me: What does a cow say?
Her: No
Me: No? A cow says "moo"! Mooooooooooooo
Her: Mooooooo
Me: Mooooooooo
Her: Mooooooooo
Me: Moooooooo
Her: Mooooooo
Me: So, what does a cow say?
Her: No.

[lorien]

For mom's day my son's preschool class (4 yr olds) published a list of what each kid said their moms do while they are at preschool. One boy's said "My mom goes to the brewery."

To be fair, his parents own a brewery.

[1695814]

For mom's day my son's preschool class (4 yr olds) published a list of what each kid said their moms do while they are at preschool. One boy's said "My mom goes to the brewery."

To be fair, his parents own a brewery.:ctm: My brother's kids answered by saying, "My dad makes drugs." (He's a chemist working for some drug company, btw.)

[Kris Kross]

Conversation with my 19 month old as I was drying her after her bath last week:

Me: What does a cow say?
Her: No
Me: No? A cow says "moo"! Mooooooooooooo
Her: Mooooooo
Me: Mooooooooo
Her: Mooooooooo
Me: Moooooooo
Her: Mooooooo
Me: So, what does a cow say?
Her: No.

congratulations, your child is the female version of ike from south park

[Pills]

congratulations, your child is the female version of ike from south park

Nah, she's not Canadian, and I doubt she'll have an affair with her kindergarten teacher.

[LoneGirl]

I was at the zoo today with my 3 year old niece and we were watching the dolphin show. The trainer came out with a bucket and I said "there's the trainer with a bucket of fish for the dolphins!" and my niece says "dolphins don't eat fish! Only seals eat fish!". So I asked her what dolphins eat, and she thought about it for a minute and said "Strawberries.....and maybe cheeseburgers."

[Alto Reed on a Tenor Sax]

My niece saw an iron in the laundry room and said to my sister, "Mommy, what is that thing?"
Our three year old did the same thing, at MY MOM'S house. My wife was not amused.


For mom's day my son's preschool class (4 yr olds) published a list of what each kid said their moms do while they are at preschool. One boy's said "My mom goes to the brewery."

To be fair, his parents own a brewery.

:lol:

[hotkarl]

I guess this is more literally "out of the mouth" of a babe.

[Kaia]

Overheard in the gym locker room:
Mom: "one, two..."
Kid: "tie your shoe!"
Mom: "three, four..."
Kid: "...tie your loo!!"

And then she cracks herself up, haha. Cute.

[Gentle Giant]

About a month ago, my son officially entered the "I like Mommy more than Daddy" phase. I walked in the door, and they were sitting at the dinner table ready to eat. Son looks at me, gives me the dirtiest look ever, and exclaims:

:x "DADDY GO BACK TO WORK!" :x

He's done that a number of times now.

[Browncoat]

How old is he?

[MAX.]

While playing "Birthday Party" with my nieces and nephews my 2 year old niece unwraps a broken color crayon.

"Oh, It's beautiful. Thank-you!"

[H.R. Paperstacks]

About a month ago, my son officially entered the "I like Mommy more than Daddy" phase. I walked in the door, and they were sitting at the dinner table ready to eat. Son looks at me, gives me the dirtiest look ever, and exclaims:

:x "DADDY GO BACK TO WORK!" :x

He's done that a number of times now.

Thats rough.

[Gentle Giant]

How old is he? :link: (http://www.actuarialoutpost.com/actuarial_discussion_forum/showpost.php?p=2778205&postcount=229)

I assume you can do the math. ;-)

Yes, I'm quite aware that it would have been a lot less effort to simply post "2y9m". Nyah.

[H.R. Paperstacks]

I've heard sardines help with male fertility, so I was trying to stomach some. After watching me almost vomit, while forcing down these disgusting creatures, the girl says, "Daddy, WHY are you eating those?"

I said, "Well, I read that if guys eat them, sometimes their wives have babies.".

She replies... "Keep eating them bro!!! Just make sure you rinse and spit afterwards".

I'd love to hear her explain to her friends where babies come from after that.

[Les]

my husband got home from his softball game last night shortly after I had put our 3 yr old daughter to bed. he went up to say good night, she asked him if he won and he said no. then he asked if he could have a kiss and hug and she said "no, I don't give kisses and hugs to losers":lol:

[Browncoat]

Cold.

[Les]

well she actually followed it up with "but I'll kiss you because I love you", but I didn't think it would be as funny if I added that...

[LoneGirl]

My parents were babysitting my 3 year old niece the other day, and they were in the car going somewhere. My niece said she wanted some milk. My dad told her they didn't have any milk and would have to wait until they got home, to which she replied "ya know grandpa, you could drive thru someplace, get a big person's milk, and put some in my sippee cup!"

[punmanbowler]

We were watching some kids for some friends of ours. One of their girls goes to the bathroom and comes out without washing her hands. My wife tells her to go wash her hands. She says, "No, we really don't do that at our house, so I'm not going to."

this after she had just helped make dinner.

[JMO]

We were watching some kids for some friends of ours. One of their girls goes to the bathroom and comes out without washing her hands. My wife tells her to go wash her hands. She says, "No, we really don't do that at our house, so I'm not going to."

this after she had just helped make dinner for the last time she will ever do so here.
IFYQ

[hellomath]

When my sister was little, my grandma came over to babysit while my mom was at work. My grandma felt asleep while watching her. My sister woke her up and said "My mom told you to babysit me. Why are you sleeping?"

[ActuaryGuy23]

My wife & I had our friends and their two kiddos over last week for dinner. Afterward we were having a couple adult beverages and my wife mentioned that I should let the guests try the Amarula my parents brough back from their last cruise. I pour a small shot glass for them to taste (no one wanted a full glas) and the older child (almost 3) tells his dad, "Uhm, I want to try, too!"

Dad: "Sorry buddy, this is for grown-ups."
Son: "But, but, I LOVE IT! It's DELICIOUS and I just want some!"

I'm hoping he "loved it" just because it looked like chocolate milk. Otherwise we may be getting a call from CPS soon.

[Browncoat]

No matter how many times I hear my words come out of my kids' mouths, I never cease to be surprised.

The lot of them had climbed into bed with us, as per usual, at 7:00. The order is Daddy, Mommy, baby, 5 yo, 2 yo. I forget where the 3yo was. Anyway, the 2yo wants to be closer to Mom, Dad, and (especially) the baby. She stand up, and starts to walk around the 5yo.

We've told her before not to walk on the bed, especially when the baby's on the bed. Before we could correct her, the 5yo pipes up, "Oh, I'm not comfortable with this."

:ro-bed-l:

Great way to start the morning, laughing that hard.

[Diminutive]

Anyone else have problems with their kids yelling, "No Kissing!!" when they smooch each other?

Every time I sneak a kiss from Mrs Browncoat, three voices chime up. If I linger, they'll force themselves between us and push us apart. It's usually pretty funny.

One night, after I had put the older ones to bed, as I was kissing Mrs Browncoat, the baby started crying. So, even she's in on it.

:lol:
Diminutive screams "Sandwich hug!" and then does a flying tackle hug at our legs. :)

[_BullDog_]

My parents were babysitting my 3 year old niece the other day, and they were in the car going somewhere. My niece said she wanted some milk. My dad told her they didn't have any milk and would have to wait until they got home, to which she replied "ya know grandpa, you could drive thru someplace, get a big person's milk, and put some in my sippee cup!"
:lol:

[Steve Grondin]

4 yo who always asks for candy. Mom sometimes says "(child's name), En Oh - No."

Upon being told no, 4 yo says "Mommy, En Ess - Yes"

Gotta work on her spelling.

[Gentle Giant]

Last night, as I was singing to him, I decided to tackle a verse of "Smoke on the Water". I don't really know the lyrics very well.

"Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm Montrose,
hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.
Frank Zappa and the Mothers,
hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm.

Smooooke on the waaaater,
The fire in the sky."

The kid whines: "No, daddy, no! It's not good! It's not good!"

So I reverted back to "This Little Light of Mine" and "Whole World In His Hands" for the 137th night in a row. :shrug:

[Gentle Giant]

Another:

The latest issue of "Wild Animal Baby" magazine features deer. Mommy read it to him and told him that a baby deer is called a FAWN, a mommy deer is called a DOE, and a daddy deer is called a BUCK.

At the end of the section, Mommy reviews:
Mom: Do you remember what a baby deer is called?
Boy: A f**k.
Mom: <holding in her laughter> No, a fawn. What about a mommy deer?
Boy: A dote.
Mom: No, a doe. What's a daddy deer called?
Boy: A butt.

She won't be writing that one down in the memory book, so I have to publish it somewhere.

[hotkarl]

At my wife's birthday party last night, someone asked my 4-year old what he wants to be when he grows up.

"A big fat guy."

You gotta have goals.

[Les]

Another:

The latest issue of "Wild Animal Baby" magazine features deer. Mommy read it to him and told him that a baby deer is called a FAWN, a mommy deer is called a DOE, and a daddy deer is called a BUCK.

At the end of the section, Mommy reviews:
Mom: Do you remember what a baby deer is called?
Boy: A f**k.
Mom: <holding in her laughter> No, a fawn. What about a mommy deer?
Boy: A dote.
Mom: No, a doe. What's a daddy deer called?
Boy: A butt.

She won't be writing that one down in the memory book, so I have to publish it somewhere.

:lol: that cracks me up! even more so because we get that magazine too!

[DaBears]

Let me preface this by saying we do not pretend to actually be adults or in any way qualified to be parents. We enjoy it nonetheless.


Son, aged ~3, says "face" instead of "space". While trying to help him learn to say it correctly, I say as an aside to BH "I wonder what spuck would sound like". I promptly hear the response from son. BH says "what about mother spucker", and we hear the response from son. Whole family dissolves into gales of laughter, son having no clue what's so funny.

Yeah, we're not adults.

[Pills]

My 21 month old has decided that, when she's in the car, she must be going (moving, not going in her diaper).

Thus, if I get to a red light, all I hear from the back seat is "Go! Go!". Drive-thrus are even more fun. 5 minutes of constant "Go!".

Efforts to explain traffic laws have thus far proven futile.

[Bobby Digital]

My 21 month old has decided that, when she's in the car, she must be going (moving, not going in her diaper).

Thus, if I get to a red light, all I hear from the back seat is "Go! Go!". Drive-thrus are even more fun. 5 minutes of constant "Go!".

Efforts to explain traffic laws have thus far proven futile.

Have you looked into getting her a Barbie Jeep?

[Frenchie]

Let me preface this by saying we do not pretend to actually be adults or in any way qualified to be parents. We enjoy it nonetheless.


Son, aged ~3, says "face" instead of "space". While trying to help him learn to say it correctly, I say as an aside to BH "I wonder what spuck would sound like". I promptly hear the response from son. BH says "what about mother spucker", and we hear the response from son. Whole family dissolves into gales of laughter, son having no clue what's so funny.

Yeah, we're not adults.

I am sure I mentioned this somewhere before, but when MM was younger, she could say the "tr" combination, so "truck" became the f-word. It made it all the more amusing since her father drove trucks for a living. :lol:

[Browncoat]

My 21 month old has decided that, when she's in the car, she must be going (moving, not going in her diaper).

Thus, if I get to a red light, all I hear from the back seat is "Go! Go!". Drive-thrus are even more fun. 5 minutes of constant "Go!".

Efforts to explain traffic laws have thus far proven futile.

Have you tried explaining physics? "Daddy can't go now because there's a car getting his food from the window, and I'd run into him, because no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time."

[Pills]

Have you tried explaining physics? "Daddy can't go now because there's a car getting his food from the window, and I'd run into him, because no two objects can occupy the same space at the same time."

I have told her that if Daddy runs into the car in front of him, then we wouldn't be going for a while. Again, falls on deaf ears.

[MAX.]

I'm in the basement of my friend's house when I hear her 5 year old daughter and her daughter's 5 year old male friend come down the stairs. Neither of them know I'm in the other room.

I hear...

girl: take off your pants
boy: no
girl: ok, then just scream in my ear
boy: UH

(giggling from both of them)

girl: ok, now lay on top of me and scream in my ear
girl/boy: UH UH UH
girl: oh yeah, that's the spot

(giggling from me)

[Gentle Giant]

I know we have a :yikes: emoticon, but we really need one like http://www.progressiveears.com/forums/images/smilies/surprise.gif. The one we have is a little too happy for this situation.

Yikes.

[H.R. Paperstacks]

I hope you don't live in Glouster, MA.

[MAX.]

I know we have a :yikes: emoticon, but we really need one like http://www.progressiveears.com/forums/images/smilies/surprise.gif. The one we have is a little too happy for this situation.

Yikes.


:lol: The best part was my friend had no idea her daughter had walked in on her.

[H.R. Paperstacks]

:lol: The best part was my friend had no idea her daughter had walked in on her.

What did she say after you told her?

[carryme]

:lol: The best part was my friend had no idea her daughter had walked in on her.

TV? Internets?

[MAX.]

TV? Internets?

I'm pretty sure the kid walked in on them and they didn't notice. One of their other kids interupted them one time by yelling outside their door (it was locked) because she was scared when she heard "scary noises" coming from inside their room.

[Gentle Giant]

Ah, just one benefit of having the master bedroom down and the other bedrooms up. :-)

[Browncoat]

Driving with my 5yo today, three police cars, sirens blaring, passed us heading the other way. He said somebody must really be speeding. I said that when I see three police cars, I think it's probably more serious than someone speeding.

"Three people speeding?"

"No," I say, "I think maybe they're chasing some bad guys." I figured that was a good way to put it into 5yo think.

"But the dinosaurs killed all the bad guys."

"um. . .what?"

"Well, that's what my Bible says. In John. Chapter 18."

:lol:

I have no idea where he picked that up. He just finished a week of VBS. I told him he must have misunderstood. Also curious where he learned to site Scripture. I'd be a little surprised if they taught that at VBS at his age. Figured they just told Bible stories, not "A reading from the Gospel of John, Chapter 18."

:shrug:

[Browncoat]

I'm going to post this one under an Alt, because I'm a little embarrassed about it. On the same trip, "Squeeze Box" by The Who comes on.

Mama's got a squeeze box she wears on her chest
And when daddy comes home he never gets no rest
cause she's playin' all night
and the music's all right.
Mama's got a squeeze box; Daddy never sleeps at night.

At the end of the song, he asks me why he never sleeps at night. :oops: I told him I didn't know. Seemed like the right thing to do.

[LoneGirl]

My sister-in-law was telling me that she overheard my 3yo niece playing with her Barbie and Ken doll the other day. The 3yo had the dolls facing each other like they were having a conversation. She takes the Barbie doll and says "oh Ken, I really like you alot" then she takes the Ken doll and says "WhatEVER!!!" :lol:

[Gentle Giant]

I'm going to post this one under an Alt, because I'm a little embarrassed about it. On the same trip, "Squeeze Box" by The Who comes on.

Mama's got a squeeze box she wears on her chest
And when daddy comes home he never gets no rest
cause she's playin' all night
and the music's all right.
Mama's got a squeeze box; Daddy never sleeps at night.

At the end of the song, he asks me why he never sleeps at night. :oops: I told him I didn't know. Seemed like the right thing to do.Um, I thought the song really was about an accordion. Is there something I don't know? [ETA: Wiki'd - OOOOoooohhhhh... got it. But couldn't you have just said that squeezebox = accordion? I mean, it worked for me until now and I'm 34yo!]

Oh, and you didn't post it under an alt. :-D

[Surfohio]

This is from a friend of mine, but cute none the less.

My sister and I were driving past the Truckers of America gas station the other day, when my three year old nephew asked what the big TA on the sign stood for.

My sister answered "Truckers of America"

The three year old replied, "That's not what Daddy says".

[JMO]

[ETA: Wiki'd - OOOOoooohhhhh... got it. But couldn't you have just said that squeezebox = accordion? I mean, it worked for me until now and I'm 34yo!]

Accordion is what I would have told the kid.
I learned something ELSE from Wiki disambuation:
Squeezebox, another name for a hug machine, a deep pressure device designed to calm hypersensitive persons, usually individuals with autism spectrum disorders

Please don't ban me for metnioning autism, OK?

[campbell]

I know an accordion would keep =me= up.

-----
We told the kids that that God killed the dinosaurs because they were naughty. But they don't believe us, because they know the dinosaurs died under the hot sun of the desert.... yup, they know what happened to the dinosaurs because of Fantasia.

You should hear about the ideas they have about Santa & the North Pole due to Bass & Rankin stopmotion shows....

[Gentle Giant]

Son was using our bathtub, which has whirlpool jets. He had some bath toys in there with him, which of course were swirling all around him. He thought this was hilarious and laughed a lot.

One of his bath toys is a little floating ladybug which was swirling around him rather fast.

So he exclaims,

"'AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!'
goes the yadybug."

[Gentle Giant]

So I assume most of you have heard about the Five Love Languages. (Very easy to find out about them.)

So I was trying to explain this to our son. I told him, "Daddy likes hugs, and Mommy likes presents."

He thinks about it for a minute, looks at me and says, "I like cake!"

[Browncoat]

Um, I thought the song really was about an accordion. Is there something I don't know? [ETA: Wiki'd - OOOOoooohhhhh... got it. But couldn't you have just said that squeezebox = accordion? I mean, it worked for me until now and I'm 34yo!]

Oh, and you didn't post it under an alt. :-D

It never occurred to me that a "squeeze box" could refer to an accordian, but it certainly makes sense. The song, however, clearly does not refer to that.



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Squeeze_Box_(The_Who_song)
"Squeeze Box" is a song by The Who. "Squeezebox" is a slang term for accordions and related instruments, but it is also a slang term for an old-fashioned sex toy.

I'm lost on the last clause there. :oyh:

[Browncoat]

This one is from someone a little to old to be called a 'babe'.

Mrs Browncoat often speaks of our six month old as a "little chunker" because she's off the charts on weight (and height, too, so she's not fat). She's a pretty solid package.

My 11yo nephew is visiting and she pukes on him. He looks up at us with this disgusted look on his face and asks, "Is this why you call her 'Little Chunker'?"

:rofl:

[LoneGirl]

I took my 3 year old niece to a dairy farm today. We were standing (along with a crowd of people) next to the fence where the entire herd had gathered, and a bull decided that he was going to try and mount one of the females (we had seen signs warning people to stay away from the bulls because it is mating season). My niece turns around and says loudly to the crowd of people "I've never seen a cow like that!"

[Gentle Giant]

Mommy was cleaning out the shed this morning, and 3yo was helping. 3yo found the dolly and wanted to ride on it (because Grandpa gives him rides on his dolly when we visit).

Mommy: "I can't, the tires are flat."
3yo: "Just blow it up, then."
Mommy: "I can't, baby. I don't have a pump."
3yo: "Oh, Mom. I'll get you one." Lets himself into the house, goes up to the game room and rifles through his toys looking for something he thinks will work.

The End.

[Gentle Giant]

Yesterday, Mommy was pushing 3yo on the swing:

3yo: "Is God here?"
Mommy: "Yes, he is."
3yo: "No, he's in heaven."
Mommy: "Well, yes, he's here too. He's everywhere, but you can't see him."
3yo: Thinks about it for a minute and asks, "Where's God's car, then?"

[Samantha]

Mine are too old to be babes now too, but they still say funny things

Recently we went through a McD's for lunch (I know I know :rolleyes: ) and had to wait for my 10 yo's chicken sandwich. So we pull forward and in a few minutes they bring it out.

As I hand it to her and drive away, I say, "Now you realize that the reason we had to wait for that is because it JUST came out of the fryer. It's HOT, okay?"

"yeah, okay"

Then a few seconds later, "AAAAHHHH!!! OH! this is HOT!!!!"

Me: I just told you that it would be!

Her: Yeah, but you're my mom.

:-?

[Harry]

Um, I thought the song really was about an accordion. Is there something I don't know? [ETA: Wiki'd - OOOOoooohhhhh... got it. But couldn't you have just said that squeezebox = accordion? I mean, it worked for me until now and I'm 34yo!]

Oh, and you didn't post it under an alt. :-D
That's just sad.

[MysteriousWays]

Maybe someone can help me figure this one out, since I don't have kids...was walking with a friend of mine and a 5 year old (another friend's daughter). The friend and I were talking about something or other and mentioned 'nerves.' The little girl interrupted to ask 'what are nerves? Are those the little people that steal?'
huh?

[omegakain]

Maybe someone can help me figure this one out, since I don't have kids...was walking with a friend of mine and a 5 year old (another friend's daughter). The friend and I were talking about something or other and mentioned 'nerves.' The little girl interrupted to ask 'what are nerves? Are those the little people that steal?'
huh?

Do you think maybe she was confused about the expression "nerves of steel"?

[JMO]

I thought she had them confused with elves. Perhaps some story/video she saw had some elves as the bad guys.

[LoneGirl]

Yeah, I thought maybe she was confusing "nerves" with "gnomes"??

[1695814]

This is probably only interesting/notable/entertaining/humorous to me but that's never stopped me from posting before...

Doing math homework with 8yo last night.
She's doing greater than, less than, or equal stuff.
The numbers were something like 271 & 284.

I explained to her how I remember which way the greater than/less than sign should face (like the crescendo/decrescendo in music), and then she explained to me her method (it's like a person's mouth eating the bigger piece).
Then I say, "Yeah, it's like if there were 271 pieces of candy and 284 pieces of candy, you'd want to eat the 284 pieces because there's more of it." She replies, "Yeah, except I think 271 pieces of candy would be enough for me anyway."

:popcorn:

[campbell]

For less than/greater than, our teacher told us to think of an alligator that wanted to eat the bigger number.

It made sense to me.

[Anitha Desai]

Wow! I should use that with my son. I've never thought of it like that.

[rekrap]

For less than/greater than, our teacher told us to think of an alligator that wanted to eat the bigger number.


I'm teaching my girls that the bigger one is pointing at the smaller one (and laughing). Besides, my oldest girl is scared of alligators.

[otley]

I'm teaching my girls that the bigger one is pointing at the smaller one (and laughing).
Preparing them for a life of cruelty....

[Actuarialsuck]

I was taught that the greater symbol looks like a 7 sideways and the less than looked like a 4 (without a line) on their sides. At the time it made perfect sense!

[llcooljabe]

For less than/greater than, our teacher told us to think of an alligator that wanted to eat the bigger number.

It made sense to me.

I still use that method.

[Gentle Giant]

Per the title of the thread: Vomit. :exams:
Repeatedly. :exams:
On just about every sheet set he has. :exams:
And on me, of course. :exams:
For the last hour and a half. :exams:

I'll be in late, for obvious reasons.

Oh, and on a related note, I don't remember if I posted this yet, but this is a funny one:
On the previous and only other time he threw up, he was confused, and asked, "Did you (I) just poop out of your (my) mouth?"

[campbell]

me & 5yo in car: (I don't remember how this discussion got started)

Me: And I'm reading =Orthodoxy= by Chesterton
5yo: What's a Chesterton?
Me: Well, he wrote a lot of books, and some of the books were about Jesus
5yo: [I thought] Jesus is my favorite
Me: Jesus is my favorite, too
5yo: They're really yummy
Me: Huh?
5yo: They're long and they've got sprinkles and they're warm. I like them.
Me: Oh, =cheesesticks=

[Browncoat]

What if Chesterton had written about cheesesticks?

[campbell]

I wouldn't put it past him. He wrote about everything else I like, it seems (well, Dickens. He wrote about Dickens in addition to Christianity)

[Jack]

Didn't Chesterton hate Jewish people or am I thinking of someone else?

[campbell]

Maybe you're thinking of T.S. Eliot or Ezra Pound? They were both somewhat notorious re:antisemitism.

I've read a few of Chesterton's Christian-related writings, and Judaism doesn't seem to come up much. He mainly aims his big guns at materialists/secularists/relativists, though also a few of the New Agey groups of his time (like the Theosophists).

[Guilty Bystander]

When my son was 5, my wife was driving him to kindergarten but they were stopped at the railroad crossing by the morning train. My wife relates that apparently my son could tell she was aggravated because he looked at her and said, "say, damn it, mommy!"

[Les]

my just turned 4 yr old daughter comes out with these wise beyond her age-isms..
the other night she yelled downstairs for me to come up and cover her up, but when I got to her room she had already covered herself up so I said I was sad that she didn't need me, she says "that's ok mommy, you take good care of me, you can be happy" :-)

[KandaBer]

Scene: Kitchen appliance aisle in Target.

5yo: what's that?

Me: That's a deep-fryer.

3yo: That's how you make deeps.

[Not Mike]

On a rare occasion, I'll get a little upset - like when my 3-year old pees on the floor. Probably twice, which is amazingly low for me, I've blurted out What the %&$*... it's been repeated a few times by the kids and we always say "don't say that, it's a bad word, yada yada"....

so last night my kid is doing his business, but when he gets off the pot, there's a little present on the floor.... I'm looking at it and I think I said Oh My God or something of the sort.... my 3-year leans over and whispers "Dad, can we say What the F&%^?"

I'll give him credit for knowing the context....

[its_me]

I was making omlets for my kids in the evening..i got one of those brown cage-free eggs..My 5 year old son hadnt seen them before..so when he saw the brown eggs, he goes & tells his 8 year old sister." Mom has bought Indian eggs! They are eggs from an Indian hen!"

[Frenchie]

I was making omlets for my kids in the evening..i got one of those brown cage-free eggs..My 5 year old son hadnt seen them before..so when he saw the brown eggs, he goes & tells his 8 year old sister." Mom has bought Indian eggs! They are eggs from an Indian hen!"

:lol:

[Gentle Giant]

Just got off the phone with Mrs. Giant.

She was changing my son's diaper when he reached down, grabbed his junk and said, "That's a BIG penis!"

[LoneGirl]

The political ads must finally be reaching the pre-schoolers.....my 3 year old niece was taking a walk with her mom around the neighborhood and she started singing "the ants go marching one by one, barack, barack.....".

[Browncoat]

The baby was crying at 12:30AM. Mrs B got up to feed her. I'm rolling over. The door opens. It's our almost-3yo. "Mommy? Um. . .when will it be Christmas?"


Wakes up in the middle of the night and wants to know when it will be Christmas. :shake: :lol:

[Browncoat]

Just got off the phone with Mrs. Giant.

She was changing my son's diaper when he reached down, grabbed his junk and said, "That's a BIG penis!"

Before we had kids, a couple years out of college, we had a bunch of college friends over for 4th of July weekend. Bought a cheesecake, and invited some local friends who had a 3 or 4 year old. He had to go to the bathroom, so he tells his dad, "I have to go to the bathroom. I have a big penis."

Our friends got a big kick out of that.

[Examinator]

A week ago I asked my 2+ year-old what she wanted for breakfast. Here was her list, in order: red jelly (she's never had jelly to our knowledge), Sprite (this either), lunch, and apple soup.

[campbell]

So my husband Stu bought two large rectangles of this pink styrofoam-like insulation material that he was going to stick in the attic (as it's horribly insulated). He hadn't installed them yet, so they were propped up in the kitchen. Oldest child M starts poking at one of the sheets, and Stu gets annoyed.

Stu: Those are the future! They will help keep us warm this winter and keep all the heat from leaving through the roof! If you damage those, you are destroying the future!
[you've got to exaggerate a little for 5-yr-olds]

So a few days pass, and Stu takes the sheets outside to trim them to shape to get ready to put them in the attic.

M: Daddy, why are you cutting the future?

[earlier she asked where Daddy was taking the future when he carried them out of the kitchen. It wasn't until that 2nd statement that I realized what she was saying.]

[L. Mo]

At softball yesterday. (I'm the "official" scorekeeper, cheerleader, & dog wrangler.) I've got my dog, Lucy, and our captain's dog, a 70ish pound Basset Hound named Ralph. One of the women on my team has random family members who come to watch the games, and this week it was one of her sisters and her niece, who's 2ish. Adorable little girl, Kayla.

Kayla keeps collecting stray balls from the "dugout", and giving them to the dogs, neither of whom are interested; besides, they're too big for either of them to grab in their mouths.

Ralph licks Kayla, Kayla licks him back. Mom is disgusted, I'm :lol:

I turn to her mother, and say, "I'm just waiting for her to saddle up Ralph and try to ride him". Less than 20 minutes later, she toddles over to Ralph and climbs on his back. Good thing he's low to the ground. I'm :rofl:

Had to share.

Oh, and, we won, 11-1. A well matched game until the bottom of the 6th, when we went on a tear.

[J.T.]

Backstory. I've moved ahead of my family, so I've not seen my son, who is 6, in a while.

So, I called the other morning just to say hi. Miss him and all.

He asks me how work is going.

My reply, "well, it's going ok. Mom is working on something she doesn't know how to do right now, but will you wish her luck that she figures it out?"

His "Mom, why did they give you the job then?" :rofl:

Mine "Well, they're hoping I figure it out...Will you wish me luck?"

His, "No, I don't think so."

Mine "OK, well, I wish you good luck in getting a green crayon today, so you aren't grounded anymore."

His, "OK, I wish you luck too."

[_BullDog_]

Just got off the phone with Mrs. Giant.

She was changing my son's diaper when he reached down, grabbed his junk and said, "That's a BIG penis!"
You should realy be more quiet after you put him down to bed....

[Browncoat]

On the way to church this weekend, with my 4 and 5 yo boys. I forget how we got on the subject of hard work, but we did, and I commented about how it's important to work hard.

"Yeah," pipes up the 5yo, "just like the ants." (A recent topic in homeschool.)

"Yeah," adds the 4yo, "and uncles, too!"

[Lois Lane]

Mine "OK, well, I wish you good luck in getting a green crayon today, so you aren't grounded anymore."what does that mean?

[CindyLou Who]

what does that mean?

In my kids' school, green meant a child is displaying good behavior, yellow means you're pushing it and red means you're in trouble and usually meant loss of privileges for a stated period of time, but J.T.'s son's school might not do things that way.

[J.T.]

what does that mean?
Green crayons mean you didn't get in trouble. Yellow means once (actually twice, because I believe she generally gives a warning before making them move down, if it's not a serious offense). Then there's blue, purple, red, orange. Red means parent-teacher conference, and Orange is the principal's office. We've been as low as purple, and have had a few issues with yellows and blues. Green is what we have him strive for, and there are rewards involved for really great runs of greens.

[Gentle Giant]

Mommy and Mini-Giant met Grampa for lunch at the cheap-o Chinese buffet. They have a soft-serve ice cream machine there.

Grampa was sharing his ice cream bowl with Mini-Giant. The last bit was all melted. Mini-Giant was trying to scoop it out with his spoon.

Grampa said, "I don't know if it's worth it. There's nothing but yuck left."

Mini-Giant keeps scooping it out and eating it, exclaiming, "It's good yuck!"

He then gets Mommy's straw since it's all melted and says, "I'm going to suck the yuck!" ...followed by lots of laughing and mess-making.

[Lois Lane]

Mommy and Mini-Giant met Grampa for lunch at the cheap-o Chinese buffet. They have a soft-serve ice cream machine there.

Grampa was sharing his ice cream bowl with Mini-Giant. The last bit was all melted. Mini-Giant was trying to scoop it out with his spoon.

Grampa said, "I don't know if it's worth it. There's nothing but yuck left."

Mini-Giant keeps scooping it out and eating it, exclaiming, "It's good yuck!"

He then gets Mommy's straw since it's all melted and says, "I'm going to suck the yuck!" ...followed by lots of laughing and mess-making.:lol: very cute. how old is mini-giant?

[Gentle Giant]

:lol: very cute. how old is mini-giant?
3.25.

[Actuarial Groupie]

3.25.

older than Pi

[goarmy]

Driving down the road, goarmy junior (age 6 1/2) in the backseat, counting (to 100? further? who knows).

Next to him, goarmy-ette (age 3 1/2) begins counting as well. She stops at sixteen. I turn to her and ask, "What's after 16?"

Her reply: "I don't know."

Me: "It's seventeen."

Her: "I don't want to do that."

Not nearly as cute in writing as it was in person.

[Gentle Giant]

older than Pi
Yeah, I've been meaning to get him a pin...

[Kris Kross]

You should realy be more quiet after you put him down to bed....

:rofl:

[Les]

I threw a surprise party for dh this past weekend at a local restaurant. Afterwards as we were walking across the parking lot to the car my 4 yr old daughter says "I love to party". We got some laughs from the other people in the parking lot :-)

[KandaBer]

A common expression around the Ber house is "whatever makes your boat float."

Exchange yesterday:

Me: Little Ber, What makes your boat float?

LB (3 years old): Water, Daddy.

Better if you could see the "Duh" look on his face.

Not looking forward to his teens.

[campbell]

Reminds me of the knock-knock jokes my cousin Nick made up when he was 4:

Nick: Knock knock
Me: Who's there
Nick: Nicholas
Me: Nicholas who?
Nick: It's me, Nicholas! Who'd you think it was? Superman?!

At least that was more interesting than my youngest sister's knock-knock jokes:
C: Knock knock
Me: Who's there
C: Kangaroo
Me: Kangaroo who?
C: Kangaroo hops!

[LoneGirl]

At the Children's Museum with my nieces this weekend, they had someone dressed as the Incredible Hulk and kids could have their picture taken with them. My nieces don't really understand the whole superhero thing and are scared of people in costumes, so we just saw the Incredible Hulk from a distance as we walked by. On the way home in the car, I have the following conversation with the 3 year old:

3 y.o.: Are you afraid of elk?
Me: Um, no....(wondering where she has seen an elk)
3 y.o. : Were you afraid of elk when you were little?
Me: No....are you afraid of elk?
3 y.o.: Yes. I'm scared of the Incredible Elk. The Green Guy.

[Take 2]

Mom to 2-year old daughter: Do you want a grilled cheese sandwich?

Daughter: No, Mommy, I want a boy cheese sandwich!

[lipman]

Mom to 2-year old daughter: Do you want a grilled cheese sandwich?

Daughter: No, Mommy, I want a boy cheese sandwich!

Doh, if she already wants boys at 2, you are in so much trouble when she hits her teens!

[J.T.]

Talking with my son last night on the phone....they are currently having to write their letters to Santa this week.

Me: Have you decided what else to ask for Christmas?
Him: Ummmmm, (pause), no (longer pause), well, yeah, gold. (Me perplexed, him pausing again) Wanna know why mom?
Me: Absolutely.
Him: Then I can go to cashforgold.com
Me: Dying laughing.
Him: It's a real place mom.
Me: Yes, I realize that, but a hint...it's easier to ask for the cash and not worry about exchanging it.

I really need to get him to stop watching commercials.

[bjz99]

Talking with my son last night on the phone....they are currently having to write their letters to Santa this week.

Me: Have you decided what else to ask for Christmas?
Him: Ummmmm, (pause), no (longer pause), well, yeah, gold. (Me perplexed, him pausing again) Wanna know why mom?
Me: Absolutely.
Him: Then I can go to cashforgold.com
Me: Dying laughing.
Him: It's a real place mom.
Me: Yes, I realize that, but a hint...it's easier to ask for the cash and not worry about exchanging it.

I really need to get him to stop watching commercials.

That's awesome. As I was reading this, I was expecting the answer to be something advanced to throw you for a loop like, "Because gold is a good long-term investment in this falling economy. You should know that, silly." Still really funny though.

[J.T.]

That's awesome. As I was reading this, I was expecting the answer to be something advanced to throw you for a loop like, "Because gold is a good long-term investment in this falling economy. You should know that, silly." Still really funny though.

That actually was what I thought he would say. Although, this was more of a six year old answer, unlike some of the others I get.

[campbell]

My daughter really wants to have a robe like me (and I bought robes for the girls recently... shhh, don't tell them). But she has decided what she really wants is for my mother to make her a robe.

So on Monday, we mailed off a letter to grandma saying DEAR GRANMAE, I WAENT YOU TO MAKE A ROBE. and my mother called yesterday.

Grandma: I got your letter today
Miss M: Yes, I want you to make me a robe
Grandma: But I don't know how to make a robe
Miss M: You use yarn and two needles

I guess she's expecting my mother to knit a robe.

The other thing that my daughter (Miss M) has been asking for is: "Dear Santa, I want a blue train that makes noise and maybe it flies."

No, Santa is not delivering such a train. Wondering where she got that idea, though.

[JMO]

My daughter really wants to have a robe like me (and I bought robes for the girls recently... shhh, don't tell them). But she has decided what she really wants is for my mother to make her a robe.

So on Monday, we mailed off a letter to grandma saying DEAR GRANMAE, I WAENT YOU TO MAKE A ROBE. and my mother called yesterday.

Grandma: I got your letter today
Miss M: Yes, I want you to make me a robe
Grandma: But I don't know how to make a robe
Miss M: You use yarn and two needles

I guess she's expecting my mother to knit a robe.

The other thing that my daughter (Miss M) has been asking for is: "Dear Santa, I want a blue train that makes noise and maybe it flies."

No, Santa is not delivering such a train. Wondering where she got that idea, though.
I don't suppose she meant this (http://www.blueunplugged.com/p.aspx?p=121661)

Is there some cartoon locomotive that is blue?

[J.T.]

I don't suppose she meant this (http://www.blueunplugged.com/p.aspx?p=121661)

Is there some cartoon locomotive that is blue?
Thomas the Train is blue, but I'm not aware he flies.

[Jables]

Thomas the Train is blue, but I'm not aware he flies.
Well, Miss M did say maybe...

[Flora]

Maybe she's got Thomas and JayJay the Jetplane confused

[Gentle Giant]

Sunday afternoon we were both in the gameroom. He was on his old-fashioned, squeaky rocking horse, I was watching DVR'd Meet the Press. He decided he didn't like the show, and asked for another one.

"How about the show where the man is on fire?"
"Um, what?"
"The show where the man's arms are on fire. Yeah, that's a good one."

:yikes:

As far as either I or Mrs know, he has *never* seen an adult show that comes even close to that.

The only plausible explanation that my wife could think of is if he was watching one of his DVR'd shows and it ended while we weren't in the room, and the receiver went back to "live" television before we returned to the room.

He's never seen a moment of Heroes, CSI, L&O, or any of the other "adult" shows that we watch. :shrug:

[1695814]

Maybe she's got Thomas and JayJay the Jetplane confused. Think about it.IFYP.

[ShakeNBakes]

Sunday afternoon we were both in the gameroom. He was on his old-fashioned, squeaky rocking horse, I was watching DVR'd Meet the Press. He decided he didn't like the show, and asked for another one.

"How about the show where the man is on fire?"
"Um, what?"
"The show where the man's arms are on fire. Yeah, that's a good one."

:yikes:

As far as either I or Mrs know, he has *never* seen an adult show that comes even close to that.

The only plausible explanation that my wife could think of is if he was watching one of his DVR'd shows and it ended while we weren't in the room, and the receiver went back to "live" television before we returned to the room.

He's never seen a moment of Heroes, CSI, L&O, or any of the other "adult" shows that we watch. :shrug:
Do you watch Mythbusters? because there's that ad for Discovery Channel that runs 58 times a day on every channel (the song about the world), where Adam lights Jamie's arm on fire. Or is that only a Canada thing?

[Gentle Giant]

Do you watch Mythbusters? because there's that ad for Discovery Channel that runs 58 times a day on every channel (the song about the world), where Adam lights Jamie's arm on fire. Or is that only a Canada thing?
Very little Discovery Channel. Only a few eps of Planet Earth on DVR, and we haven't watched that in about 6 months.

[ana]

My friend's daughter was taking a tub-ey the other day and looked down at her nipple, pointed to it and said, "pimple" :lol:

[campbell]

Could be a Thomas the Tank Engine thing, but I don't understand the flying bit.

Or I think the kids might have a video where there's a train with Santa and the train flies. (No, I'm not talking about the creepy Polar Express)

[carryme]

Fantastic Four.

[bjz99]

Fantastic Four.

Fantastic Four, Fantastic Four... steak, steak, steak, small amount of peas... is it "What?"

[carryme]

Fantastic Four, Fantastic Four... steak, steak, steak, small amount of peas... is it "What?"

RN :toast:

[Mardi]

"How about the show where the man is on fire?"
"Um, what?"
"The show where the man's arms are on fire. Yeah, that's a good one."

:yikes:


maybe it's Quantum Leap? the intro has a graphic....

[Gentle Giant]

Well, we don't watch that, and I don't know on what channel reruns of QL are syndicated. I suppose it's possible.

[bjz99]

maybe it's Quantum Leap? the intro has a graphic....

Such a good show. Still didn't get time travel quite right. (In one episode, the future/present changes around Al while he's in a courtroom defending why the project should stay open, sigh. Plus, if Sam changes the past, he wouldn't have leapt into that life to change the past and the records from Ziggy wouldn't exist... Why is Harry Potter the only thing I've seen/read that actually did time travel right?)

[IMP]

Such a good show. Still didn't get time travel quite right. (In one episode, the future/present changes around Al while he's in a courtroom defending why the project should stay open, sigh. Plus, if Sam changes the past, he wouldn't have leapt into that life to change the past and the records from Ziggy wouldn't exist... Why is Harry Potter the only thing I've seen/read that actually did time travel right?)back to the future. actually tho, it's flawed too. lol

[Lois Lane]

Such a good show. Still didn't get time travel quite right. (In one episode, the future/present changes around Al while he's in a courtroom defending why the project should stay open, sigh. Plus, if Sam changes the past, he wouldn't have leapt into that life to change the past and the records from Ziggy wouldn't exist... Why is Harry Potter the only thing I've seen/read that actually did time travel right?)Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

[Browncoat]

Interesting argument on the way to church yesterday:

2yo was making some sort of noise.
5yo: Stop it, you're giving me a headache.
2yo: Well, you're giving me a headache.
5yo: Do you even know what a headache is?
4yo: You two are giving me a huge headache.
5yo: Well, you're giving me an enormous headache.

It was not a good morning for all concerned.

[bjz99]

back to the future. actually tho, it's flawed too. lol

You just had to put the second part in white, so I'm going to assume you know it's flawed and why, so I'll be brief. It does have some moments where it would work, but a few that don't. Time changed around Marty (and some times Doc) without their memories being altered. Such as, Marty's dad standing up to Biff in 1955 and changing Marty's life in 1985. It was still a great trilogy, and when I watch it, the music just helps suck me in, so I don't complain.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

This was close, very close, but with just one flaw. There was still an overlying "present." In the future, the future people send back George Carlin because a trying time was approaching their lives. Also, Bill & Ted had to get to their presentation on time. Now, if you're in a time machine, you could just time travel to when your presentation is and there wouldn't be an overlying present. I also can't really let this one go, because of the ending of Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. *Spoiler* They travel back in time to practice and get good at performing, get married, and have kids. Then travel back to the exact moment they left. Now, if they had to get back in time for their presentation in the first movie, why didn't they have to for the second? Then also there's the whole extra ending with the magazine covers where instead of being any older (and yes I know they could have shaved their beards) they looked exactly the same age as when they weren't good at playing.

[Rockhound]

Such a good show. Still didn't get time travel quite right. (In one episode, the future/present changes around Al while he's in a courtroom defending why the project should stay open, sigh. Plus, if Sam changes the past, he wouldn't have leapt into that life to change the past and the records from Ziggy wouldn't exist... Why is Harry Potter the only thing I've seen/read that actually did time travel right?)

Dr. Who, the one with the scary angel statues.

[bjz99]

Dr. Who, the one with the scary angel statues.

I've never seen Dr. Who. If you give me the title of the episode I'll try to watch it.

[Browncoat]

:capn:

[campbell]

More time travel plots done right:
- 12 Monkeys
- Futurama, in general - basically showing there's no way to make it logically consistent. Go, Futurama!

[bjz99]

More time travel plots done right:
- 12 Monkeys
- Futurama, in general - basically showing there's no way to make it logically consistent. Go, Futurama!

Never seen 12 Monkeys. I love Futurama, but showing there's no way to make it logically consistent isn't doing time travel right.

PS.
Even if there wasn't the episode where they go back to the 1950's and Fry becomes his own grandfather, plus the first movie, I wouldn't count cryogenically frozen for 1000 years counting as time travel, just an fyi before someone tries to argue that as time travel

[campbell]

Well, there's no logical problem with traveling into the future, just going back into the past.

[LoneGirl]

My 3 y.o. niece was pretending to be a teacher, and my dad said to her "did you know I was a teacher? Maybe someday you can be a teacher just like grandpa!" She seemed to think about it for a minute and then responded "well, I don't know what I'm going to be yet because I'm still little. But I'm thinking about maybe being a mermaid.....".

[Frenchie]

My 3 y.o. niece was pretending to be a teacher, and my dad said to her "did you know I was a teacher? Maybe someday you can be a teacher just like grandpa!" She seemed to think about it for a minute and then responded "well, I don't know what I'm going to be yet because I'm still little. But I'm thinking about maybe being a mermaid.....".

:lol: At least she has goals! :)

[wat?]

I was running at the park earlier today and was walking to cool down, when I saw a father and his two little boys (maybe 2 & 4 y.o.) on a tricycle and a bicycle w/training wheels. 2 yo is riding ahead, and the 4 yo is pedaling to keep up, then stops when he reaches his brother.

Suddenly, 4 yo stops and yells to his dad, "Daddy ... I ran out of gas."

Dad: "Oh ... you better fill it up, then!"

[Browncoat]

My kids like to quiz each other on their letters. This conversation woke me up this morning:

5yo: 4yo, do you know what letter "sex" starts with?
Me: :yikes: [to self]: Where did he hear that word?!?!?!
4yo: Ummmmmm, "I".
5yo: Yes! That's right! Good job!
Me [to self]: Oh! Insects. Yeah, they know that word.

[bjz99]

My kids like to quiz each other on their letters. This conversation woke me up this morning:

5yo: 4yo, do you know what letter "sex" starts with?
Me: :yikes: [to self]: Where did he hear that word?!?!?!
4yo: Ummmmmm, "I".
5yo: Yes! That's right! Good job!
Me [to self]: Oh! Insects. Yeah, they know that word.

:rofl:

[Gentle Giant]

Thanksgiving update:
Just got off the phone with Mrs. Giant.

She was changing my son's diaper when he reached down, grabbed his junk and said, "That's a BIG penis!"
My son, as mentioned before, is 3. He has a male cousin who is 1. My sister likes to let him run around nekkid after a diaper change.

So he's doing this during their visit, and my son notices, looks at him kinda funny, points, and says, "That's a short wee-wee."

Yes, son. Yes it is.

[rekrap]

My kids like to quiz each other on their letters. This conversation woke me up this morning:

5yo: 4yo, do you know what letter "sex" starts with?
Me: :yikes: [to self]: Where did he hear that word?!?!?!
4yo: Ummmmmm, "I".
5yo: Yes! That's right! Good job!
Me [to self]: Oh! Insects. Yeah, they know that word.

Why wasn't "N" the right answer? :judge:

[bjz99]

Why wasn't "N" the right answer? :judge:

Browncoat has smart children.

[SamChevre]

20-month old, looking at the back of a Little Golden book and pointing at Tootle the Train.

Train! Girl-girl cry. Saaaaad.

(A week or so ago, they watched a train go by at a grade crossing. His little sister was afraid of it and cried.)

[1695814]

From six year old, "Broccoli and mushrooms are my worst enemies."

[goarmy]

goarmyjr is in 1st grade; when I come home on school days, I always ask him what the best part of the school day was

answers range from "we played Star Wars at recess" to "Johnny brought a bug on his sharing day" to "we did subtraction"

his answer one day this week:

"We had bacon!"

(lunch was cheese omelettes, bacon, bagels, & fruit - they have breakfast-y lunches about once a month)

I looked at mrs goarmy and said, "I'm raising him right." She rolled her eyes -- she's good at that.

[MAX.]

From six year old, "Broccoli and mushrooms are my worst enemies."

:lol:

[Frenchie]

goarmyjr is in 1st grade; when I come home on school days, I always ask him what the best part of the school day was

answers range from "we played Star Wars at recess" to "Johnny brought a bug on his sharing day" to "we did subtraction"

his answer one day this week:

"We had bacon!"

(lunch was cheese omelettes, bacon, bagels, & fruit - they have breakfast-y lunches about once a month)

I looked at mrs goarmy and said, "I'm raising him right." She rolled her eyes -- she's good at that.

:roll:

;-)

[campbell]

From my husband's blog post: (I'm meep, he's theevilhalf)

Maureen: [As we're piling into the car] Where are we going?
meep: It's a surprise.
Maureen: Are we going out to dinner?
meep: No, it's a surprise.
Maureen: Where are we going?
theevilhalf: Well, we wanted it to be a surprise but I'll tell you anyways. We're going to a special fair where parents can trade in their kids for new ones.
Maureen: Really!?
theevilhalf Yes. (long boring yet convincing explanation of how it works) Don't worry honey. We're only looking.
Maureen: But I _want_ to be traded.
theevilhalf: Why do you want to be traded, sweetie?
Maureen: I want to go to a new house. I want to sleep in a real bed not one with a ladder & a house where I get dessert every night.
theevilhalf: Well, we'll have to wait and see.
Maureen: I want to be traded to Grandma. That's my favorite house.
Siobhan: I want Grampa!
theevilhalf: Only if they have kids to trade.
Maureen: But you can't trade Diarmuid, because we want to keep him.
theevilhalf: Okay. Everybody out. We're here.

As we're walking in, Maureen is going on & on about getting traded to Grandma. Siobhan says Grampa everytime M says Grandma. Just before we go in, and before I can tell them it's a joke, out comes a mom with 4 or 5 kids in tow. Maureen shouts excitedly, "Look! They got new kids!"

Once we recovered from laughing, we explained that it was a joke. Siobhan thought it was funny & Maureen spent the time at the craft fair grumping how jokes aren't nice nor funny.

[Frenchie]

From my husband's blog post: (I'm meep, he's theevilhalf)

:lol:

Classic! Glad to see I'm not the only "bad parent" out there who teases kids about being traded...that and telling her (and my nieces and nephews) that she came from the zoo and that she was being taken to see her real family when she went to see the monkeys :-P

[1695814]

"We had bacon!"goarmyjr would fit in quite well around here. :tup:

[Ginormous76]

:lol:

Classic! Glad to see I'm not the only "bad parent" out there who teases kids about being traded...that and telling her (and my nieces and nephews) that she came from the zoo and that she was being taken to see her real family when she went to see the monkeys :-P

My friend was telling me that his son and daughter were being particularly rowdy one day, so he said, "I have two words for you: Safe Haven." Then his 3-4 year old son went around the house saying, "Safe haven! Safe haven! Safe haven!" and continued to do so in public as well.

[goarmy]

goarmyjr would fit in quite well around here. :tup:

:tup: Eating out last night, I ordered pasta carbonara. jr asked what that was, so I read the description from the menu. Immediately after the word "bacon" came out of my mouth, he practically jumped out of his chair and shouted "Bacon!"

I just started laughing. That left mrsgoarmy the job of reminding jr about using our indoor voices.

[Les]

It was Harry Potter weekend on ABC Family, so I was watching the first one with my daughter, age 4 (yes, I know she's too young, but she loves scary stuff, and I covered her eyes at the scariest parts) on Saturday. Then Sunday she was playing on her own with play-doh, I wasn't there but my husband tells me he thinks she said "bloody hell". :-D He didn't want to make a big deal of it so he didn't say anything to her. I think if she's got to swear then bloody hell is the way to go ;-)

[Frenchie]

It was Harry Potter weekend on ABC Family, so I was watching the first one with my daughter, age 4 (yes, I know she's too young, but she loves scary stuff, and I covered her eyes at the scariest parts) on Saturday. Then Sunday she was playing on her own with play-doh, I wasn't there but my husband tells me he thinks she said "bloody hell". :-D He didn't want to make a big deal of it so he didn't say anything to her. I think if she's got to swear then bloody hell is the way to go ;-)

My dad said he was at my bro's house one day and one of the kids had left the door to the back porch open so he says "Someone close that damned door!" He's never been good about language around kids. He said he realized he needed to watch his mouth when the same thing happened later and the little one (under 3) yelled out "Someone close that damned door!" :lol:

[lorien]

The kindergarten Christmas play is coming up. My 5 year old son is playing the angel Gabriel. I can't convince him that his line is "Hail Mary" instead of "Hello Mary."

Speaking of my 5 year old son, he was playing dolls the other day (7 year old sister). He was being a very good dad to the baby. I asked him where the mom was.
Son: She was hit by lightning
Me: So she's in the hospital
Son: No, she's dead. It broke her bone.

Then he and my daughter proceded to discuss which bone had to be broken to have killed her. They settled on the head.

Me: Okay.

[Frenchie]

The kindergarten Christmas play is coming up. My 5 year old son is playing the angel Gabriel. I can't convince him that his line is "Hail Mary" instead of "Hello Mary."

I say go for the whole kit & caboodle - convince him it's "Hello Dolly!" and have him enter doing one of those Vaudeville dances with the cane and hat...or would that be considered blasphemous???

[Ginormous76]

I say go for the whole kit & caboodle - convince him it's "Hello Dolly!" and have him enter doing one of those Vaudeville dances with the cane and hat...or would that be considered blasphemous???

Only to Catholics, because (in my limited understand of Catholicism) Mary is considered holy or a diety or something. I don't think there is another sect of Christianity that considers Mary more than just the virgin who bore Christ (and later his siblings, who always seem to be conveniently forgotten about). Then again, is this Christmas play for church or school? If school, is it a "private", religious school?

[Frenchie]

Only to Catholics, because (in my limited understand of Catholicism) Mary is considered holy or a diety or something. I don't think there is another sect of Christianity that considers Mary more than just the virgin who bore Christ (and later his siblings, who always seem to be conveniently forgotten about). Then again, is this Christmas play for church or school? If school, is it a "private", religious school?

Well, I'd find it funny :lol: :shrug:

[campbell]

=sigh=