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the bailout

Posted 11-28-2008 at 01:11 AM by sweetiepie
Updated 12-21-2008 at 12:46 PM by sweetiepie

So my brother has been seeing this woman. Well he's not seeing her anymore. But he's probably still in love with her, and she with him, but of course they drive each other crazy in a bad way too.

So he calls her after-turkey, and she tells him her situation: she has 2 oranges, Marvin Gardens, Boardwalk, 5 other scattered properties, and $500. Damn good for a 4-player game. He tells her to trade for the third orange, and tells her what to offer. So she puts him on the phone with her brother. Her brother haggles my brother for Marvin, Boardwalk, and $200. She's disappointed with this deal, but my brother assures her that it's worth it.

20 minutes into Seinfeld, she texts him: she's winning, the family is pulling its resources to beat her, she's in jail right now.

My brother messages back: Stay in jail.

Does this sound familiar to you? It's how every monopoly game goes. 1 person (me) exchanges 2 or 3 times the face value of a property for a monopoly. That person quickly gets a substantial lead. Everyone else starts thinking about revenge. That's it. That's the story of Monopoly. That's the whole god damn narrative.

And the moral? The moral is how could you possibly expect joe-the-plumber to understand his finances, when even my rather smart friends always fall for the same game losing trades. They even have the cards in their hands. All they have to do is glance at the ridiculous cost of landing on a hotel.

The other moral is, or really the other frustration I have, is that I wish people shut their traps about how to fix the Economy. You don't f***ing know. You don't know if the bailout was a good thing or a bad thing. Reading The Economist is not enough for you to be an expert on the matter. And even if you were, the experts don't know. They don't know crap. They still can't agree on how we got out of the great depression. Or even how we got into it. And that was years and years ago.
No matter how many times you spell it out in simple words, the truth is that the mechanics of a national economy are really complicated. You-- whoever you are-- maintain that your opponents, and not you, have let their hearts come in the way of their mind, when in fact you're an idiot too, and you're even more of one for thinking you're not.
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