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everyone you see is a corpse waiting to happen

Posted 09-01-2008 at 07:47 PM by sweetiepie
Updated 09-01-2008 at 08:01 PM by sweetiepie

I am all up inside my head like a sort of sulking maiden. Hearing, believing, and becoming all the dragons that are looking for me. Actually, I guess that's less maiden and more crone. I'm becoming corrupt like the Reavers who ventured to the ends of the universe and saw nothing, I need a more sensible living space. What the hell ever happened to Feng Shui? Where did I put my book of tea?

On our first date, Sara said she was too old for me. Too experienced. The things she had done. I told her that if anything it was going to be the other way. She'd rejuvenate me. And she did. We had a frank and untangled thing.

But I'm old again. I see through things. Past clothes, past flesh, past reservations and walks around the duck pond, right through to the crumbling friendship 3 years after the fact. It's not healthy to see through facts. Crumbling friendships are a bad place to start. It's dangerous to be attached to endings. I mean if I'm going to be a seer, I need to be less concerned with consequence. I need to not fixate on my X-ray vision. I need to let in the long wavelengths too.

The truth is, the real truth is, the future is not more valuable than the past. This can be seen mathematically. If you look at our lives as a series of values that are a function of time, which basically you do, then like math, you can stretch them and move them, and so forth, without losing them. For example, we, as a human race, will get to where we're going. We are juggernauts of progress. There's no reason to suppose we're "wasting time" if we don't get there sooner rather than later, no more than it is sensible to say that the relatively unproductive middle-ages were a waste of time. There's honestly no reason to hurry and invent another electronic component, or paint a masterpiece, or even cure the bad disease; these things will get done regardless. Your participation in accomplishment is nothing more than participation. This is true in a personal sense as well. The only place you're going is to your grave. The only thing that can possibly matter is how you get there. Regardless of what you make of each moment, let us agree that they are interchangeable.

...Except, there's just so much trouble lurking behind every March. For all the daffodils, you just can't ignore it. And there really is merit in knowing your end game strategy. And as much as skepticism bores me, one has to know the news, so that when real people, come to you with real problems, you don't float off.
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