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-   -   Internship Resume Critique (http://www.actuarialoutpost.com/actuarial_discussion_forum/showthread.php?t=343844)

UnreimbursedLossJPG 09-16-2019 06:05 PM

Internship Resume Critique
 
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Hi everyone,

I'm a college senior and am going to be applying for internships in my area soon. I know I'm a bit late on trying to get my first internship, so I would love to hear any advice or feed back anyone might have regarding my resume that might help me present myself better. Any other general thoughts or advice would also be greatly appreciated.

Kalium 09-17-2019 06:04 AM

Welcome to the AO. A few random points:

I would put the Honors/Awards under the Education section, as they all relate to that. And perhaps the Projects too, if they are part of your degree rather than something you worked on in your own time.

Have you really been tutoring "hundred of students in one-on-one" setting over the past year? Seems a lot if it is anything meaningful, so my guess would be that it must be for only a very short time each.

Combine the first and last Skills points, since they are both Excel.

If you want to be anonymous, don't leave your name in the document properties. Together with the college in your AO profile it is easily enough to identify you. And it might tend to suggest that your knowledge of Word is not as "advanced" as you think it is! (You should be able to edit and repost the resume).

vjvj 09-17-2019 12:52 PM

I'm not sure that I'd crowd the education section by adding that other stuff in. It's relatively easy to read now. Imo, it's much more important that the good GPA stands out. If you've get the gpa across, you don't even need to mention the dean's list, since that is just a reflection of the gpa. So if you do add the scholarships in, I'd leave off the deans list.

I'd list the exam names as "Exam P/1" and "Exam FM/2". It just seems easier to read. I'm not keen on the wide spacing between exam and "passed". It takes way more effort to read that than in you just put the passeds near the exam name (keep the left alignment).

I'd leave off the "Anticipated", which adds unnecessary wishy washy-ness and just makes it harder to see the date. Maybe the "Graduation:", too. I'd list the degree as B.A., Mathematics, as that's a pretty common way of doing it. I'd say "Minors in Business and Spanish" and lose the colon. I'd not separate the education into two little subsections. I'd get rid of "Member".

Math program is confusing. I don't know if that's a placeholder, but it's not clear whether that's a department or some special program or whatever. If you can reword to make it clearer, it would be better.

The "supervisor" in the job title makes me think there could/should be better bullets. More supervisor-y. I get wanting to mention Excel, but really that's not a strong bullet. Here's the problem - hyping using Excel for data entry doesn't make me think much of your Excel skills. It's a mindless, do-what-you're-told task that doesn't impress. The point of a good Excel bullet shouldn't be that you used Excel, it should be what you accomplished with Excel. Excel isn't the point, just the tool to accomplish it. And the 500 here doesn't make it more impressive, it just points out the taskiness of it. The scheduling is much stronger and should go first. But I don't think it should be tacked on with answering email (another more weak task). Also, adding any frequency to a bullet generally weakens it. And I'd avoid using "manage" in any sense other than managing other employees.

Is there a reason why you put the desk asst first? Teach and tutor seems stronger, at least with the current bullet, and I'd probably put that first. Can you be "classroom assistant"? That seems much clearer. I'd shorten the bullets. You're padding them out, which just makes them weaker. If you chop the first CA bullet off at "courses", it is much stronger. The tutoring would also be better as a very simple bullet just covering what you tutored. the unique learning style and all that is just BS filler. Same with the whole develop bullet. That's part of teaching a class and you don't have to say what we already know/assume.

Again, lots of padding for the floral. You don't gain anything by mentioning standards. You don't get bonus points for doing what you're supposed to, even if you refer to it as "strict standards". Also, "standards" has somewhat of a doing-what-you're-told connotation to it, which doesn't benefit you. So shorten it. Using "utilized" rather that "used" doesn't make the bullet stronger. It just makes it sound like you're trying to use bigger words. But more importantly, you've put the focus of the whole bullet on the fact that you've used a computer. Again, that's weak. Did you order stuff and track orders? Then the word I'd use is "inventory".

The skills section is really long for what's on there, especially since it duplicates some stuff covered in experience. I'd get rid of Word and PP. There's no point in mentioning "Microsoft". The Spanish seems sort of obvious given the minor and proficient in my head is less than fluent, so you may even be reducing the reader's expectations. Plus, does Spanish matter for the job? If so, include it. I'd just call it VBA, not Excel VBA, as that's what it's called. And I'd leave off the macros. I'd not use "coursework using" and would instead list some sort of estimate of proficiency. I'd be tempted to turn the section into a two-liner - one covering your current skills, the other covering what you're working on.

I'd leave the semesters off the projects. It really doesn't matter.

UnreimbursedLossJPG 09-17-2019 04:40 PM

Thank you for the thorough critique! I really appreciate all of the points you raised.

I'll make the changes you recommended to the Education section, and will work on finding better/stronger/more accurate ways to describe my work experiences and technical skills.

Did you find the project descriptions adequate? I wasn't sure how much detail was needed for a fairly simple class project, but didn't want to leave them out if they seemed relevant.

Thanks again for all of your feedback!

UnreimbursedLossJPG 09-17-2019 06:45 PM

Thank you for the feedback!

Good call on the Excel skills and description of the tutoring position; I'll be sure to make those fixes and reword the description to sound more accurate and meaningful. Thanks also for the ego check on my Word skills -- I don't think I'll be forgetting that lesson!


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