Earth Bound Pets

[independent]

Here's an interesting business model.

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 26 states, employing 40 pet rescuers. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life.

....

Our service is plain and simple; our fee structure is reasonable.
For $135.00 we will guarantee that should the Rapture occur within ten (10) years of receipt of payment, one pet per residence will be saved. Each additional pet at your residence will be saved for an additional $20.00 fee. A small price to pay for your peace of mind and the health and safety of your four legged and feathered friends.

Unfortunately at this time we are not equipped to accommodate all species and must limit our services to dogs, cats, birds, rabbits, and small caged mammals. [Please note: we can now offer rescue services for horses, camels, llamas and donkeys in NH,VT, ID and MT ]

Thank you for your interest in Eternal Earth-Bound Pets. We hope we can help provide you with peace of mind.

http://eternal-earthbound-pets.com/

I got this from Mankiw. I figured the URL would take me to The Onion, but it didn't seem to.

[keyser soze]

I don't know who's crazier - the doomsday nuts, or these people.

[sweetiepie]

The group Seattle Atheists formed the Rapture Relief Fund which they will use "to help survivors of any Armageddon-sized disaster in the Puget Sound area";[50] if the rapture fails to come as predicted, the money will fund a camp that teaches children about critical thinking.

.

[Descalzo]

Originally Posted by keyser soze

I don't know who's crazier - the doomsday nuts, or these people.

These people are NOT crazy. Note how they get the money in advance.

[zeuz]

Originally Posted by Descalzo

These people are NOT crazy. Note how they get the money in advance.

And there is no risk of lawsuit.

If there is no rapture, then there's no obligation for them to act.

If there is a rapture, then the "injured" party has either been raptured (and can't represent himself in court) or he has not been raptured (in which case there is no need for the pets to be "rescued").

I love it

[Listeria]

I hope you are wrong, zeuz. I'd love to see a theologian from May 21 rapture church come out and state that rapturing can in fact happen one person at a time. On a case by case basis they will determine whether missing person's cases constitute a rapturing, just as the Catholic church decides whether or not someone is officially a saint. And these pet insurers then end up on the hook to provide the animals a comfortable existence as determined by our legal system. (I don't love a glutted and overburdened legal system, but I would love the rest.)

[NotUrAvgXBar]

Originally Posted by Listeria

I hope you are wrong, zeuz. I'd love to see a theologian from May 21 rapture church come out and state that rapturing can in fact happen one person at a time. On a case by case basis they will determine whether missing person's cases constitute a rapturing, just as the Catholic church decides whether or not someone is officially a saint. And these pet insurers then end up on the hook to provide the animals a comfortable existence as determined by our legal system. (I don't love a glutted and overburdened legal system, but I would love the rest.)

They would still only have to care for the pets once the owners "rapture."

[Listeria]

Yeah, the upper bound would be the number of missing persons cases among the policy-holders.

[nonlnear]

Originally Posted by Listeria

Yeah, the upper bound would be the number of missing persons cases among the policy-holders.

Only if you don't believe in doomsday doppelgangers.

[Keep It Real, Yo]

I just got an idea. I should offer to sue the pet promisers if they don't follow through, representing the interests of the raptured, in case they get raptured.