[award thread] 2011 Riskies: Post of the Year

[Keep It Real, Yo]

Poll will be added later after nominations are posted in this thread, with link. This thread will be moved to Tournament Surveys in the morning.

MountainHawk about how Japan is trying to kill the ocean:

Originally Posted by MountainHawk

Only seems fair ... the ocean started it.

From the subtle pick-ups thread...

Originally Posted by thingamajig w2 doohickeys

I went to a strip club after work yesterday. Hardly anyone there. A hot ginger kept trying to get me to buy a dance, but I was just in the mood to watch boobies bounce for a half hour then go home. Her 2nd time visiting me she says, "There's no one back there, no one to see if we break the rules". I've never had one just say it that plainly. I finished my beer, waited for my boner to un-bone a bit, then walked out.

Loner doing great...

Originally Posted by Loner

Matt/Sheba got laid, Bruce got paid,
Titania done had some kids.(Now she's Uma)
Griffin disappeared, and Rickson stirs our fears
BlueMan's marriage hit the skids;

GayActuary got banned but we still have AOFan;
Gomer has expanded his brood.
Tupac smoked more pot, Browncoat he did not,
And Political's increasingly rude. (nothing new imo bro)

TDA's avatars have bigger boobies, we got a lot of newbies;
It's getting harder keeping track.
Now others can start pissin about what my song is missing;
I'm outta gas, so welcome back.

Feif's Short-lived invasion:

So I'm taking this girl I know snorkeling. She's never done it before. She 's kinda nervous
about it. Here are her concerns:
She's going to be renting equipment. She thinks it's kinda gross - she says she
doesn't want someone else's junk going in her mouth. I've assured her that it's cleaned
thoroughly beforehand.
She's nervous that she won't be able to snorkel properly - that
when she goes down, she'll get a mouthful when she's not expecting it, and will start
choking. I told her that they have expert instructors there, and her natural instincts will help
her.
I told her we can just give it a try, and if she really hates it we'll just stop and do something
else instead, but she's still really hesitant. Any advice on how to convince her?

SSH

Originally Posted by Super Silver Haze

I can't imagine that you taking "penis medicine" would be anything less than extraordinarily entertaining for members of this website.

Listeria's Inception Dog

Originally Posted by Listeria

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds
Have no fear for atomic energy
'cause none of them can stop the time
How long shall they kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look
Some say it's just a part of it
We've got to fulfill the book

Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom
'cause they all I ever had:
Inception Dog...

ElDucky...

Originally Posted by IMP

I was taught that there were 5 oceans: Atlantic, Pacific, Arctic, Antarctic, and Indian. But i have heard many people say there are just 4, that the Antarctic isn't really an ocean.

Originally Posted by ElDucky

Classic Listy

Originally Posted by Listeria

ooh lemme get a look at that hugh jass

mmm, MMM!

oh yeah

do some more

back and forth like that

higher, up in the air like that

i wonder if we'll actually ever use this machine for actual rowing

yeah keep going

ok come back over here, ooh u got marks on ur knees, lemme kiss that,
oh, sorry honey, you did a great job though, that was really pretty

yeah You lie down now
lay back and get your stuff rubbed
ur uterus chiropractor is here to take care of you lol imo

my honey
i love you
so
sweet thing, unhhhhhhhh
i love you
oh yeah you like that? hmmmmm
never gone give you up, never gonna let you down
and hurt you
rumplestilstkin, unh ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
you're the mother of my children




oh...ohh... uhhh...ahhh... OH! OH!!!
EUUURRRAAAAGHHHHHHHH!!!!
PEW! PEW!

lipman capturing the essence of anny

Originally Posted by lipman

Let me be the first to suggest that you do not ask her out for dinner. Text her and ask her to go grab drinks with you one night, that way you skip the conversation part (which I am guessing is not your strong suit) and hopefully get into the "getting naked" part (which I am also guessing is not your strong suit) a lot faster and then move into the awkward morning after part (which I would assume you dominate at).

DJZ on Cam Newton:

Originally Posted by Dr. John Zoidberg

Feels weird to not be on top. Good season, everypony. CAM NEWTON AVAILABLE FOR HALF YOUR TEAM AND A HANDY FROM YOUR WIFE(S)

Now that the season is done, I'm going to have lots of sex with Cam Newton. Did I mention that I'm in love with Cam Newton? I think about him when I jerk off. I think about him when I'm not jerking off, and then I want to jerk off again. I'm gay for Cam Newton!

SSH again...

Originally Posted by CNN

And how do you know that wasn't done? Can you imagine if this attitude worked in the corporate world?

CNN: I told my direct report to do X, which was fairly straightforward. He ignored me or didn't follow my directions. Therefore, it's my fault for not doing a better job communicating the request.

Originally Posted by Super Silver Haze

Do you consider your wife your direct report? What a sexist attitude.

[MountainHawk]

Japan is trying to kill Oceans thread

Originally Posted by MountainHawk

Only seems fair ... the ocean started it.

[Dismal Science]

My nominee:

Originally Posted by thingamajig w2 doohickeys

I went to a strip club after work yesterday. Hardly anyone there. A hot ginger kept trying to get me to buy a dance, but I was just in the mood to watch boobies bounce for a half hour then go home. Her 2nd time visiting me she says, "There's no one back there, no one to see if we break the rules". I've never had one just say it that plainly. I finished my beer, waited for my boner to un-bone a bit, then walked out.

[Loner]

I received an in-thread nomination for my summary of what a returning poster had missed:

Originally Posted by Loner

Matt/Sheba got laid, Bruce got paid,
Titania done had some kids.(Now she's Uma)
Griffin disappeared, and Rickson stirs our fears
BlueMan's marriage hit the skids;

GayActuary got banned but we still have AOFan;
Gomer has expanded his brood.
Tupac smoked more pot, Browncoat he did not,
And Political's increasingly rude. (nothing new imo bro)

TDA's avatars have bigger boobies, we got a lot of newbies;
It's getting harder keeping track.
Now others can start pissin about what my song is missing;
I'm outta gas, so welcome back.

Originally Posted by Actuary321

This has to be a top nomination for post of the year.

Originally Posted by Guerilla poster

seconded.

[Feif]

This was deleted, but I'd saved a copy for posterity beforehand. This was from our Reef Central invasion:

So I'm taking this girl I know snorkeling. She's never done it before. She 's kinda nervous
about it. Here are her concerns:

• She's going to be renting equipment. She thinks it's kinda gross - she says she
  doesn't want someone else's junk going in her mouth. I've assured her that it's cleaned
  thoroughly beforehand.
• She's nervous that she won't be able to snorkel properly - that
  when she goes down, she'll get a mouthful when she's not expecting it, and will start
  choking. I told her that they have expert instructors there, and her natural instincts will help
  her.

I told her we can just give it a try, and if she really hates it we'll just stop and do something
else instead, but she's still really hesitant. Any advice on how to convince her?

[matamagato]

that is an amazing post

[Feif]

so second it

[Keep It Real, Yo]

Originally Posted by Feif

This was deleted, but I'd saved a copy for posterity beforehand. This was from our Reef Central invasion:

2nd

[Feif]

Here's the follow-up to it - after one of their moderators had replied!

We're not technically renting anything - it's a package deal, all inclusive with equipment. What can I say, that's my package. It was a limited offer, and I did not want to miss that deal!

Yeah, I told her that at the beginning, she should just stay near the top. No need to go all the way down at first. Just try it out slowly. Get used to it. I told her she could practice at first with something comparable so there wouldn't be any chance of an unexpected mouthful of SW, and she might do that in the bath tonight.

[limabeanactuary]

If somebody can find Listeria's Inception dog post, I'd be grateful

btw, this is post of the year for 2011.... so the post needs to have come from 2011.

I think we don't allow deleted posts/threads, but we can check.