Fun New Game - Diversions Bump Thread

[DownInTexas]

1. Target practice.
2. Keep as a companion for your squirrel
3. Duck Juice
4. Replace holey slipper
5. dog toy
6. chinese duck sauce
7. Use as a weight comparison to determine if a woman is a witch
8. Pet shows (seriously, the one at Sea World has ducks)
9. Recreate a character from Sixteen Candles
10. Open a hotel, charge higher prices because you have a duck... profit
11. Recreate 90% of teenage girls' facebook profile pics
12. Walk in to a bar
13. Guard duck
14. New spokesduck for AFLAC for Seniors.
15. For kicking when you're in a bad mood.
16. For blaming when I have eaten beans the night before
17. Using to cover the holes in your boat
18. Put out to pasture to stud new ducks
19. Using as an elaborate set up for a joke, where I make someone think their life is in danger from an object coming towards them, but am instead just informing them that I am holding a duck.
20. Have it teach tricks to your younger ducks.
21. Determine if it can be taught new tricks, modify age old saying
22. Become Country Music Singer, write songs about a man and his duck which will be huge hits because they will think it will be a man and his truck
23. Have him translate old Donald Duck cartoons.
24. Be able to say "Yes, that is a duck in my pocket but I'm also happy to see you"
25.
Code:
a> Take compromising pictures of him with the Octomom
b> Copyright term "motherducker"
c> ???
d> Profit!!!
26. al' orange
27. Dress in funny outfits, take pictures, call it art, profit
28. Christmas dinner with the family at a Chinese restaurant after the neighbor's dogs eat your turkey
29. Reenact famous art works replacing the focus with the duck. Imagine, the last supper with Duck Jesus
30. Bring the duck to Peking, declare it king and you it's mouthpiece
31. Undress it, caress it, then distress/repress it until it's depressed
32. Use as a sidekick for your superhero alterego
33. Have it help you learn the difference between "it's" and "its"
34. Get millions in ransom from it once you kidnap its three nephews and hold them hostage.
35. Get pissed off when you remember his first name and what it means.
36. Swim in his gold vault
37. Get it to make fun of the ugly duckling so that when it turns into a swan it will lay golden eggs... profit
38. as a model for wood carvings
39. send him in to take your actuarial exam
40. Partner him with a chicken for sitcom hilarity
41. Learn to speak Duck
42. Send him over to quiet down the yappy little dog next door
43. drinking buddy
44. Dub him Duck Chaney and nominate him to be Vice President. Keep him away from shotguns.
45. Get a second duck and a glass of OJ so you can play Duck, Duck, Juice
46. farm manager (great book series!)
47. **** it
48. Teach it to talk, take it into a bar, and have it tell the bartender "Put it on my bill."

[Abused Student]

1. Target practice.
2. Keep as a companion for your squirrel
3. Duck Juice
4. Replace holey slipper
5. dog toy
6. chinese duck sauce
7. Use as a weight comparison to determine if a woman is a witch
8. Pet shows (seriously, the one at Sea World has ducks)
9. Recreate a character from Sixteen Candles
10. Open a hotel, charge higher prices because you have a duck... profit
11. Recreate 90% of teenage girls' facebook profile pics
12. Walk in to a bar
13. Guard duck
14. New spokesduck for AFLAC for Seniors.
15. For kicking when you're in a bad mood.
16. For blaming when I have eaten beans the night before
17. Using to cover the holes in your boat
18. Put out to pasture to stud new ducks
19. Using as an elaborate set up for a joke, where I make someone think their life is in danger from an object coming towards them, but am instead just informing them that I am holding a duck.
20. Have it teach tricks to your younger ducks.
21. Determine if it can be taught new tricks, modify age old saying
22. Become Country Music Singer, write songs about a man and his duck which will be huge hits because they will think it will be a man and his truck
23. Have him translate old Donald Duck cartoons.
24. Be able to say "Yes, that is a duck in my pocket but I'm also happy to see you"
25.
Code:
a> Take compromising pictures of him with the Octomom
b> Copyright term "motherducker"
c> ???
d> Profit!!!
26. al' orange
27. Dress in funny outfits, take pictures, call it art, profit
28. Christmas dinner with the family at a Chinese restaurant after the neighbor's dogs eat your turkey
29. Reenact famous art works replacing the focus with the duck. Imagine, the last supper with Duck Jesus
30. Bring the duck to Peking, declare it king and you it's mouthpiece
31. Undress it, caress it, then distress/repress it until it's depressed
32. Use as a sidekick for your superhero alterego
33. Have it help you learn the difference between "it's" and "its"
34. Get millions in ransom from it once you kidnap its three nephews and hold them hostage.
35. Get pissed off when you remember his first name and what it means.
36. Swim in his gold vault
37. Get it to make fun of the ugly duckling so that when it turns into a swan it will lay golden eggs... profit
38. as a model for wood carvings
39. send him in to take your actuarial exam
40. Partner him with a chicken for sitcom hilarity
41. Learn to speak Duck
42. Send him over to quiet down the yappy little dog next door
43. drinking buddy
44. Dub him Duck Chaney and nominate him to be Vice President. Keep him away from shotguns.
45. Get a second duck and a glass of OJ so you can play Duck, Duck, Juice
46. farm manager (great book series!)
47. **** it
48. Teach it to talk, take it into a bar, and have it tell the bartender "Put it on my bill."
49. Strap a waterproof webcam to its back. Let it swim with other ducks. Put out on the web and charge people to watch the duck swim. ... Profit

[ADoubleDot]

pretty sure 49 was covered by 19

[hd]

Originally Posted by ADoubleDot

pretty sure 49 was covered by 19

48 was covered by 12.

For the most part, we've avoided redundancy pretty well.

[Abused Student]

Originally Posted by ADoubleDot

pretty sure 49 was covered by 19

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face"

SJP walks into a bar and the bartender says "Why the long face"

Essentially the same joke and yet slightly different.

[Abused Student]

Originally Posted by ADoubleDot

pretty sure 49 was covered by 19

I changed it though so this is no longer the case.

[hd]

Originally Posted by Abused Student

I changed it though so this is no longer the case.

I like the new one.

[hd]

1. Target practice.
2. Keep as a companion for your squirrel
3. Duck Juice
4. Replace holey slipper
5. dog toy
6. chinese duck sauce
7. Use as a weight comparison to determine if a woman is a witch
8. Pet shows (seriously, the one at Sea World has ducks)
9. Recreate a character from Sixteen Candles
10. Open a hotel, charge higher prices because you have a duck... profit
11. Recreate 90% of teenage girls' facebook profile pics
12. Walk in to a bar
13. Guard duck
14. New spokesduck for AFLAC for Seniors.
15. For kicking when you're in a bad mood.
16. For blaming when I have eaten beans the night before
17. Using to cover the holes in your boat
18. Put out to pasture to stud new ducks
19. Using as an elaborate set up for a joke, where I make someone think their life is in danger from an object coming towards them, but am instead just informing them that I am holding a duck.
20. Have it teach tricks to your younger ducks.
21. Determine if it can be taught new tricks, modify age old saying
22. Become Country Music Singer, write songs about a man and his duck which will be huge hits because they will think it will be a man and his truck
23. Have him translate old Donald Duck cartoons.
24. Be able to say "Yes, that is a duck in my pocket but I'm also happy to see you"
25.
Code:
a> Take compromising pictures of him with the Octomom
b> Copyright term "motherducker"
c> ???
d> Profit!!!
26. al' orange
27. Dress in funny outfits, take pictures, call it art, profit
28. Christmas dinner with the family at a Chinese restaurant after the neighbor's dogs eat your turkey
29. Reenact famous art works replacing the focus with the duck. Imagine, the last supper with Duck Jesus
30. Bring the duck to Peking, declare it king and you it's mouthpiece
31. Undress it, caress it, then distress/repress it until it's depressed
32. Use as a sidekick for your superhero alterego
33. Have it help you learn the difference between "it's" and "its"
34. Get millions in ransom from it once you kidnap its three nephews and hold them hostage.
35. Get pissed off when you remember his first name and what it means.
36. Swim in his gold vault
37. Get it to make fun of the ugly duckling so that when it turns into a swan it will lay golden eggs... profit
38. as a model for wood carvings
39. send him in to take your actuarial exam
40. Partner him with a chicken for sitcom hilarity
41. Learn to speak Duck
42. Send him over to quiet down the yappy little dog next door
43. drinking buddy
44. Dub him Duck Chaney and nominate him to be Vice President. Keep him away from shotguns.
45. Get a second duck and a glass of OJ so you can play Duck, Duck, Juice
46. farm manager (great book series!)
47. **** it
48. Teach it to talk, take it into a bar, and have it tell the bartender "Put it on my bill."
49. Strap a waterproof webcam to its back. Let it swim with other ducks. Put out on the web and charge people to watch the duck swim. ... Profit
50. Funny hat

[DyalDragon]

?

[DownInTexas]

The are different duck-bar jokes. 48 covered a specific one (put it on my bill) while 12 could cover any one of them. For example: A man walks into a bar with a duck under his arm, the bartender goes "Where did you get that pig," the man goes "that's not a pig, that's a duck," the bartender replies "I was talking to the duck." It isbest if spoken rapidly, hence being written as a huge run-on sentence.