Actuarial Outpost
 
Go Back   Actuarial Outpost > Cyberchat > Non-Actuarial Topics
FlashChat Actuarial Discussion Preliminary Exams CAS/SOA Exams Cyberchat Around the World Suggestions

Browse Open Actuarial Jobs

Life  Health  Casualty  Pension  Entry Level  All Jobs  Salaries


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #41  
Old 09-01-2015, 10:48 AM
TheGillotine's Avatar
TheGillotine TheGillotine is offline
Member
CAS
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 41,645
Default

What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Spoiler:
A fsh
__________________
Spoiler:
There is no dark side of the moon, really...
As a matter of fact it's all dark.
Reply With Quote
  #42  
Old 09-01-2015, 10:49 AM
TheGillotine's Avatar
TheGillotine TheGillotine is offline
Member
CAS
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 41,645
Default

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.
__________________
Spoiler:
There is no dark side of the moon, really...
As a matter of fact it's all dark.
Reply With Quote
  #43  
Old 09-01-2015, 10:50 AM
TheGillotine's Avatar
TheGillotine TheGillotine is offline
Member
CAS
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 41,645
Default

I like my coffee like I like my women

Spoiler:
Without a penis
__________________
Spoiler:
There is no dark side of the moon, really...
As a matter of fact it's all dark.
Reply With Quote
  #44  
Old 09-01-2015, 10:51 AM
TheGillotine's Avatar
TheGillotine TheGillotine is offline
Member
CAS
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 41,645
Default

What's red and smells like blue paint?

Spoiler:
Red paint
__________________
Spoiler:
There is no dark side of the moon, really...
As a matter of fact it's all dark.
Reply With Quote
  #45  
Old 09-01-2015, 10:52 AM
TheGillotine's Avatar
TheGillotine TheGillotine is offline
Member
CAS
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: The Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 41,645
Default

Why isn't Helen Keller a good driver?
Spoiler:
Because she's dead
__________________
Spoiler:
There is no dark side of the moon, really...
As a matter of fact it's all dark.
Reply With Quote
  #46  
Old 09-01-2015, 11:12 AM
Andreas Andreas is offline
Member
SOA
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
College: College
Favorite beer: Jose Cuervo
Posts: 3,913
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGillotine View Post
Why isn't Helen Keller a good driver?
Spoiler:
Because she's dead
Reply With Quote
  #47  
Old 09-01-2015, 11:17 AM
Abelian Grape's Avatar
Abelian Grape Abelian Grape is offline
Meme-ber                         Meme-ber
CAS
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Favorite beer: Allagash Curieux
Posts: 43,205
Default

I thought the joke went as "because she's a woman"
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #48  
Old 09-01-2015, 11:22 AM
BruteForce's Avatar
BruteForce BruteForce is offline
Member
SOA AAA
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Studying for More Money
Favorite beer: Wurzel Bier
Posts: 11,875
Default

These two made me laugh out loud. I can honestly say I didn't see the ending coming to either of them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGillotine View Post
An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGillotine View Post
I like my coffee like I like my women

Spoiler:
Without a penis
__________________
ASA

Quote:
Originally Posted by Actuary321 View Post
I would really hate to bring Pokémon to a gun fight.
Reply With Quote
  #49  
Old 09-01-2015, 11:23 AM
Malik Shabazz's Avatar
Malik Shabazz Malik Shabazz is offline
SOA CCA AAA
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: God bless Chocolate City and its vanilla suburbs
Posts: 12,813
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Andreas View Post
__________________
If I weren't out here every day battling the white man, I could spend the rest of my life reading, just satisfying my curiosity—because you can hardly mention anything I'm not curious about. — Malcolm X

Reply With Quote
  #50  
Old 09-01-2015, 11:35 AM
Vorian Atreides's Avatar
Vorian Atreides Vorian Atreides is offline
Wiki/Note Contributor
CAS
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: As far as 3 cups of sugar will take you
Studying for CSPA
College: Hard Knocks
Favorite beer: Most German dark lagers
Posts: 68,143
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheGillotine View Post
What do you call a fish with no eyes?

Spoiler:
A fsh
I'm sorry . . . but this one just made me
__________________
I find your lack of faith disturbing

Why should I worry about dying? It’s not going to happen in my lifetime!


Freedom of speech is not a license to discourtesy

#BLACKMATTERLIVES
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 07:44 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
*PLEASE NOTE: Posts are not checked for accuracy, and do not
represent the views of the Actuarial Outpost or its sponsors.
Page generated in 0.19328 seconds with 7 queries