It takes me 1+ hour(s) to get my 2 year old to bed

[Hal Coldvice]

Any ideas? Can I assume that other parents have had the same problems? Please share experiences.

Here's the story. I have a boy that turned two in April. He's the oldest, we also have a 6 month old daughter. We would love to just leave him in his room, but he can open the door. So, we've been locking it after we put him down. He gets 2, sometimes 3 books read to him, which he loves.

All bedrooms share a common hallway. Bedtime/naptime used to be so easy, you'd put him down in his bed, he'd go to sleep. Now, he plays games with us. One thing that I see as an issue is that he still has a pacifier (which he only uses for sleep time). We planned to take this away in April, but our daughter was sleeping so crappy, that we wanted to wait until she got better. Well, she's gotten a ton better at sleeping and my son has gotten worse. If we take the pacifier away, he screams. If we give it to him, he'll toss it aside or slide it under his door and let us know we need to get it for him. We usually don't give in until we absolutely feel we have to: wake up baby, screaming, tired cry.

Last night, I had enough, he finally went to sleep at 9:15 (bedtime is 7:45). He woke up this morning en route to daycare and was the crabbiest little kid alive. Mrs. Coldvice and I would love to fix his sleeping habits, but is there anything I can do with this 2yo?

I'm thinking I have to put him in his room and let him work it out (without a pacifier), he'll fall asleep eventually, right? We just don't want him bothering his sister. Going to bed later is not an option Mom and I would like to explore, with these two little ones, after 8pm is quiet time around the house.

[gadzookz]

What time does he wake up and is there an option of waking up earlier?
How many naps does he take and for how long? Is there an option for making them shorter (or making sure no naps after a certain time)?

[Hal Coldvice]

On daycare days, which is 2 per week, he gets up at 7:00-7:30. Yesterday, was a daycare day, so he got up early and went to bed late. Today, was another daycare day. Otherwise, when Mom is home, he usually sleeps til 8.

His naps are in the middle of the afternoon and they are not longer than 2 hours. He's always been a great sleeper, so I'm not sold that he needs less sleep. I wonder how long he sleeps at daycare though. We've told her no more than 2 hours and waking up by 3pm. We need to talk to her again.

[Mr. Penguin]

My son was done with the pacifier by 4 months, so I can't speak from experience. But I'd take it away and keep it away. If he screams like a maniac for a night or two, so be it. Might be a good time for your daughter to visit grandparents? He's playing a game with you and he's winning.

I assume he's out of his crib? Did you transition him when your daughter was born?

As for the door, I don't think locking a door is ever a good idea. Have you tried one of these?

[1695814]

We used Ferber's method for the older child. (Didn't need to use a "method" for the second child.) http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Chi.../dp/0671620991

There's certainly no consensus on what's the best method & some find this one to be "cruel", but...whatever...

[Hal Coldvice]

Originally Posted by Mr. Penguin

My son was done with the pacifier by 4 months, so I can't speak from experience. But I'd take it away and keep it away. If he screams like a maniac for a night or two, so be it. Might be a good time for your daughter to visit grandparents? He's playing a game with you and he's winning.

I assume he's out of his crib? Did you transition him when your daughter was born?

As for the door, I don't think locking a door is ever a good idea. Have you tried one of these?

The lock on the door, locks from both sides, so I'm not worried about it. It would serve the same purpose as the item in your picture. Plus, we are selling the house right now, so I'd like to have less of that baby type crap as possible.

Yes, he's out of his crib. We got him out at 16 mo's, about 3 months before his sister was born. That transition went surprisingly well and he didn't get out of his bed for a really long time.

The pacifier will be gone tonight, but that ain't gonna help him go to bed. We also noticed that he's getting his 2yo molars. Already has 2 and the other two are visible. But I don't think that's why he won't go to bed.

[Hal Coldvice]

Originally Posted by 1695814

We used Ferber's method for the older child. (Didn't need to use a "method" for the second child.) http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Chi.../dp/0671620991

There's certainly no consensus on what's the best method & some find this one to be "cruel", but...whatever...

Can you give a brief overview?

[schleprock]

Letting him "cry it out" for a couple of nights is probably essential, no matter what route you go.

We have a 3yo that suddenly decided to stop going to sleep peacefully after about a year of doing so. What ultimately worked was allowing him to have "quiet time" in his bed after stories. Instead of putting him in bed, shutting the lights off, and leaving the room (as we were used to doing), he had the option of sitting in bed w/ a few books with the lights on low for ~30 min or so. If he fussed, we'd pull out the ol' "I guess it's time for lights-out...you must be too tired for quiet time". Almost always, that would get him to sit quietly in bed. Most nights, he'd just fall asleep during quiet time, and we'd come back later and shut the lights off.

[Mr. Penguin]

Originally Posted by Hal Coldvice

We also noticed that he's getting his 2yo molars. Already has 2 and the other two are visible. But I don't think that's why he won't go to bed.

Maybe it's not why he won't go to bed, but it sure ain't helping!

Try some Children's Motrin...should help with any pain he's feeling as well as help knock him out.

[JMO]

Originally Posted by schleprock

Letting him "cry it out" for a couple of nights is probably essential, no matter what route you go.

We have a 3yo that suddenly decided to stop going to sleep peacefully after about a year of doing so. What ultimately worked was allowing him to have "quiet time" in his bed after stories. Instead of putting him in bed, shutting the lights off, and leaving the room (as we were used to doing), he had the option of sitting in bed w/ a few books with the lights on low for ~30 min or so. If he fussed, we'd pull out the ol' "I guess it's time for lights-out...you must be too tired for quiet time". Almost always, that would get him to sit quietly in bed. Most nights, he'd just fall asleep during quiet time, and we'd come back later and shut the lights off.

This one looks like a winner.