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  #1  
Old 01-29-2012, 08:00 PM
npmani npmani is offline
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College: Junior, Mathematics/Economics
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Default Critique my cover letter please? Also, internship success stories?

Hi all. So I'm applying for actuarial internships and I've prepared a cover letter. Suggestions please.
Also, I'm becoming kind of anxious as I apply to more and more internships. If anyone could post what internships they've been offered and their qualifications, it would give a really good idea of where I stand. Thanks!

To whom it may concern,
I am interested in a position as an actuarial intern. I am looking to work in any sector of insurance, as my purpose is to gain experience and to start applying the material I have been covering for the SOA exams. I have passed the SOA P exam and am planning to take the FM exam in June 2012.

I am currently in my third year at university and I plan to graduate in May 2013. I am majoring in Mathematics and minoring in Statistics and Economics. While at university, I have taken a number of very interesting math courses which range from partial differential equations with introductory applications to physics to classes in analysis that require proof-writing, courses in which I did well. Also, for my Economics minor, I have done courses in Game Theory, Financial Economics and Econometrics. While one has given me a feel for the theoretical side of Economics, while another has shown me how Economics is applied in the world of corporate finance. Econometrics gave me experience with STATA software and I am now learning SAS, VBA and MYSQL. Additionally, I have done courses in Philosophy, English and Music. I find that the diversity of courses has made for a very well-rounded college experience.

My most recent job was as a math tutor at Talent Development. I worked with young children as well as teenagers, guiding them through school work as well as material for the ACT. I was pleased to see that after working with me, their performance in school improved. I would also report on studentsí progress to the parents and in turn would address their concerns. For this job, not only did I have to teach, but I had to find ways to communicate effectively as well as reach precise learning goals with my students.

I am also an associate member of the Economics Honors Society. This club gave me many opportunities to network with alumni, professors, and other students. In Spring 2011, I participated in Economic's club's Forecasting Competition. I worked with five other Math/Economics majors to put together a presentation in which we forecasted the following figures for 2011: GDP, S&P 500, Unemployment Rate, Inflation, Fed Funds Rate, and the 10 Year Treasury. My component was GDP, for which I researched and discussed consumption, government spending, gross investments and net exports. I presented data concerning personal income, personal debt, fiscal policy, war expenditures, the Baltic Dry Goods Index, the Industrial Production Index, as well as the supply and demand of crude oil. I am confident that this experience has given me the skills that will aid me as an actuarial intern.

I believe that the combination of academic and work experiences I have had during my years at university prepares me well for the acturial profession. I hope to gain even more experience as I continue to progress through the SOA exams.

Thank you.
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  #2  
Old 01-29-2012, 08:32 PM
Ja Ames Ja Ames is offline
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too long, shorten it man
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  #3  
Old 01-29-2012, 08:36 PM
npmani npmani is offline
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Really? What do you think I could eliminate?
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  #4  
Old 01-29-2012, 08:37 PM
Ja Ames Ja Ames is offline
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Do 3 sweet paragraphs. 1-2 introduction sentence for #1, main selling points for paragraph #2, and "Looking forward to hear from you blah blah" for paragraph #3.
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  #5  
Old 01-29-2012, 08:38 PM
Ja Ames Ja Ames is offline
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use the search function to get a good idea...
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  #6  
Old 01-29-2012, 09:03 PM
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TrueCaleb TrueCaleb is offline
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I would not say "I am looking to work in any sector of insurance" even if that is true. Make up reasons why you want work in the sector you are applying.
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  #7  
Old 01-30-2012, 01:42 AM
GreenThings GreenThings is offline
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Cover Letter~175 words long

Cover letter consisted of three paragraphs:
-Why I am writing: interested in XX position
-Why you should consider me: blurb about how my experience would benefit XX company
-Contact info

Getting the interview was the hardest part for me. Once you have an interview, the importance of how you look on paper diminishes greatly compared to how well you interview. For what it's worth, I received two offers after four interviews, one of which was from my top choice. I ended up cancelling on the remaining two interviews I had.

Good luck in your search!
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Last edited by GreenThings; 03-07-2015 at 03:15 PM..
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  #8  
Old 01-31-2012, 04:30 PM
thedan45 thedan45 is offline
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Last year I got 3 final round intern interviews, got offers from 2 with...
3.7 gpa
Exam p
Junior year standing

I didn't hear back from a single one of the 70ish companies I applied to until mid jan, and the offer I took I didn't hear from til late feb, but I think that's atypical
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  #9  
Old 02-01-2012, 11:18 AM
npmani npmani is offline
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College: Junior, Mathematics/Economics
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Thanks for feedback you guys.
I'm just worried about internships because although I have the P exam, I have a CGPA of below 3.0. However, my grades the past 3 semesters have been pretty good, so I made sure to highlight that on my resume. I was wondering if anyone with similar stats has had any luck?
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  #10  
Old 02-01-2012, 12:37 PM
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zengarden zengarden is offline
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Hey npmani. I agree with all the points made by others on your cover letter. This was my general format:

I am applying to ____ position advertised on _____.
or you can write (I am inquiring about any open actuarial intern positions at _____) if you are cold-emailing.

Education stuff, how some of your coursework applies.

Brief sentence on exam progress.

How your former work experience will apply to the internship position (if you were a waiter/waitress, you could talk about interpersonal and communication skills, etc) and what you can contribute as an intern

Closing paragraph



I was in your shoes last year and VERY stressed out about finding an internship. I ended up finding one in JUNE. Yes...June. About one week before the internship started too. So don't lose hope!
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