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  #41  
Old 09-23-2016, 09:53 PM
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Originally Posted by JFG View Post
Sorry, Bro. So she didn't tell you why she ended it?
We had that discussion, I understood. This was later. I don't get the whole "Yes. And no." with no follow- up. Women say they don't play games, that you'll always know where you stand, but they do and you don't. I'm starting to think they want their life to be a romantic comedy.
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  #42  
Old 09-23-2016, 10:03 PM
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From the tone of your post, it seems like you like this girl quite a bit. Regardless, it is good to set each other's expectation straight before potentially wasting too much time in it.
Yes I do, which is why I asked her out even though it seemed like it might be a bad idea. That's why I was relieved at first when she said she wasn't looking for a serious relationship. I hoped we could just have fun for awhile.

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Well, at this point, you need to make a decision as to how you feel about her, more than wondering how she feels about you.
I know how I feel about her.

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If you really want to know what she meant by "not into serious relationship", try asking her out again in a different time and check her tone. If she is still says she is busy, then move on.

If she says yes, then find an opportunity to clarify what she meant. Tell her your genuine feelings, that you like her a lot and had great fun with her.
Logically, this makes sense. Illogically, I think I will screw something up.

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Originally Posted by Kalani Sitake View Post
Why would you want to sleep with someone who didn't want to be with you?
I don't know for sure that she doesn't want to be with me. When I saw her the other day, I suggested getting together this weekend. She said she was busy with work and some family obligation.

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weird question
I know, right?

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Originally Posted by Dr T Non-Fan View Post
She probably thinks too much during sex, and not about sex. And talks too much during sex, and not about sex.
I'd like to find that out.
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  #43  
Old 09-23-2016, 10:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Bro View Post
We had that discussion, I understood. This was later. I don't get the whole "Yes. And no." with no follow- up. Women say they don't play games, that you'll always know where you stand, but they do and you don't. I'm starting to think they want their life to be a romantic comedy.
Why were you talking to her about her feelings after the relationship ended? Information for the future? Maybe she thought you were going to try to talk her into something. But I agree that's a messed up answer. Either yes, and elaborate, or no and end of conversation. As much as women like to talk, you'd think they could just spell it out.
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  #44  
Old 09-23-2016, 10:39 PM
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We had that discussion, I understood. This was later. I don't get the whole "Yes. And no." with no follow- up. Women say they don't play games, that you'll always know where you stand, but they do and you don't. I'm starting to think they want their life to be a romantic comedy.
They say that?
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  #45  
Old 09-24-2016, 12:37 AM
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Originally Posted by Mother of DragQueens View Post
Mini golf is fun
What do I know? I haven't been on a date for 32 years.
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  #46  
Old 09-24-2016, 11:21 AM
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...
I know how I feel about her.
...
Do you? Are you sure you want to just have fun for a while with her, or is what you really want a chance for that to develop into a serious relationship, and maybe even for her to move with you? Or maybe you want to be in a relationship with her for now, even if she sees it as casual, so you will be happy for a while.

My guess is if you were after just sex with her, you wouldn't have been thinking about these things so much. You could go set up some tinder date with some random girl and have casual sex with that person instead.

I don't know her and can't know what she meant. I think the best is to ask to talk to her and ask directly what she meant. Be honest, say I thought I knew what you meant then, but I am not sure now. What did you mean?

I can give you one example of something that happened to me. I was at a physics conference in a foreign country and I had reserved a few days to see that country, and two guys offered to hang out with me during that time, both attractive. (It helps that there were like 300 guys and very few women at that physics conference.) It was just after a divorce and I wasn't interested in a serious relationship. One guy seemed super nice and he seemed to have a crush on me. The other was seemed kind of silly, was not in the physics circles I interact with at all, and there was no chance I would ever be interested in a serious relationship with him. This second guy is the one I went with. Why? I felt like the nice guy might end up with hurt feelings. If I thought the nice guy was so super awesome that there is a good chance I might end up wanting to spend my life with him, I might have went with him. But, it is easier to go with the silly person you are not worried about hurting, and not complicate things too much.

Maybe it is something like this. Maybe she didn't initially know you had strong feelings for her, then sensed it. Maybe she wanted to give it a chance and now thinks you won't be the person she wants to spend her life with.

Again, I don't know. Maybe it is not that at all. You won't know unless you ask.
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  #47  
Old 09-24-2016, 11:48 AM
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Why were you talking to her about her feelings after the relationship ended? Information for the future? Maybe she thought you were going to try to talk her into something. But I agree that's a messed up answer. Either yes, and elaborate, or no and end of conversation. As much as women like to talk, you'd think they could just spell it out.
Why? She had sent me a message that she was thinking about me.
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  #48  
Old 09-24-2016, 11:51 AM
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...You won't know unless you ask.
And sometimes not even then.
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  #49  
Old 09-24-2016, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Anthemyst View Post
Mm, I can't speak for all women but if I didn't want to sleep with a guy I think I'd just say I wasn't looking for a relationship, without the "serious" modifier. "Not looking for a serious relationship" sounds like she's open for casual stuff to me.
What's with this code talk crap? Just tell him he is ugly and not your type. Instead you're giving code talk that basically is lying about being asexual.
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  #50  
Old 09-24-2016, 12:45 PM
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it's okay. should have taken her bowling instead imo.
Mini golf>>>>>> Bowling
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