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Old 02-12-2020, 12:09 PM
RomanticActuary RomanticActuary is offline
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Default Behavioral issues with a teammate

Not sure if we already have a thread where questions like these usually go, or if we have another thread on similar situation.

There's a new person who joined my team, reporting to me. Bringing them on board was mostly my boss' decision and I wasn't quite involved in the process. The problem with this person is their attitude and behavioral issues. The person is at times quite rude and doesn't know how to appropriately communicate verbally. At first I thought it might just be some lack of interpersonal skills but then realized they've got some serious attitude issue.

I don't want to report this to my boss as 1) the person was brought in by my boss 2) I don't want to give an impression that I don't know how to handle such situation or people. One thing that I was thinking was to give an honest feedback at the time of next performance review but its a little farther down the road so not sure how that would resolve things in the short term.

Have you ever had similar situations with your reports, or other colleagues in the past that you directly dealt with, and if so, how did you go about handling it?
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:12 PM
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Don't you meet regularly with your direct reports? No one should be ambushed by reports of bad stuff they did at their annual review, they should be getting feedback throughout the year.

Pick one or two specific incidents where the person's words or actions were inappropriate and hurt the team. Tell them about it, gently but explicitly. Listen to how they respond, how they felt, what their goals were. Suggest other ways they could have handled the interaction that take their goals and needs into account.

Also, it's okay to ask your boss for advise on handling a delicate situation. And your boss should know what is going on in her team, too.
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:14 PM
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How often do you meet 1-on-1 with this person? Are you providing informal feedback about this particular issue during those meetings?

ETA: ninja'd
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:26 PM
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I would also echo talking with your boss about the situation.

The way you might approach it is to ask their advice and insights about the person specifically. Mention that you want to be diplomatic about addressing the issue but want to make sure that you're not missing something about the new guy's personality or background.
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:31 PM
RomanticActuary RomanticActuary is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy View Post
Don't you meet regularly with your direct reports? No one should be ambushed by reports of bad stuff they did at their annual review, they should be getting feedback throughout the year.

Pick one or two specific incidents where the person's words or actions were inappropriate and hurt the team. Tell them about it, gently but explicitly. Listen to how they respond, how they felt, what their goals were. Suggest other ways they could have handled the interaction that take their goals and needs into account.

Also, it's okay to ask your boss for advise on handling a delicate situation. And your boss should know what is going on in her team, too.
Just to clarify, this person is rude even with me. Thats the most surprising thing to me that how can someone be so naive to not realize something can hurt their career.

Additionally, this person often violates the protocol of going through proper channel. For example they would directly go to my boss and bother my boss with small questions when I could have easily answered them. A couple of times my boss asked me to oversee this person a little more. Besides, Iím working for a promotion and dont want to bother my boss with other stuff. Perhaps which is why I havenít told much about this issue to my boss.
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:47 PM
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Might there be cultural issues at play here? Do you think they are aware you perceive them as rude?

Also, does this person ever work directly with your boss? I have been in situations where it was normal to talk to my boss's boss about minor details, and in situations where that would have been wildly inappropriate. And situations between those two extremes. Just from your description, it's hard to tell.

But I do think you should discuss this with your boss and ask for their advice.
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Old 02-12-2020, 12:49 PM
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I have a similar problem with a colleague at work who asks inappropriate questions. I'm not the only one annoyed by her comments, some people avoid her altogether. I'm not sure how to deal with her when she makes a comment that pisses me off cause it's not in my nature to reply in a mean way to others.
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Old 02-12-2020, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RomanticActuary View Post
Just to clarify, this person is rude even with me. Thats the most surprising thing to me that how can someone be so naive to not realize something can hurt their career.

Additionally, this person often violates the protocol of going through proper channel. For example they would directly go to my boss and bother my boss with small questions when I could have easily answered them. A couple of times my boss asked me to oversee this person a little more. Besides, I’m working for a promotion and dont want to bother my boss with other stuff. Perhaps which is why I haven’t told much about this issue to my boss.
Maybe make a case to get him promoted so he doesn't have to be under you any more
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Old 02-12-2020, 01:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy View Post
Might there be cultural issues at play here? Do you think they are aware you perceive them as rude?
"Rude" is relative, imo. One time, a long time ago at a company far away, we had this boss who had all sorts of insecurities and control issues and would perceive things that most people wouldn't give two shits about as being rude.

For example, he wanted us to all reserve a room and be in there together for all meetings no matter how trivial. The next time he scheduled a trivial meeting that could have been taken care of with a quick email, we all dialed in from outside the building and he threw a tantrum like a little baby. Fun times.

This was at a company where dialing in was normal and he was the only manager who would insist on it. Oh yeah and he was a remote employee in another state and was being a hypocrite about it.
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Last edited by Colonel Smoothie; 02-12-2020 at 01:19 PM..
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Old 02-12-2020, 01:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RomanticActuary View Post
Just to clarify, this person is rude even with me. Thats the most surprising thing to me that how can someone be so naive to not realize something can hurt their career.

Additionally, this person often violates the protocol of going through proper channel. For example they would directly go to my boss and bother my boss with small questions when I could have easily answered them. A couple of times my boss asked me to oversee this person a little more. Besides, Iím working for a promotion and dont want to bother my boss with other stuff. Perhaps which is why I havenít told much about this issue to my boss.
You'll probably need some cooperation from the bosses too. They need to refer the guy to you for the trivial stuff rather than taking care of it and then passively telling you to pick up the also. Otherwise they're kind of just paying lip service.
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