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#41
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![]() My internship was pretty similar. I had awful work, and I had very little in common with my co-workers. I'm generally shy, and I was pretty self-conscious about the situation. But I don't think I had anxiety issues.
I would say two things (echoing other sentiments) 1) let your work speak for itself. even if you don't necessarily fit into the company culture, if you produce impressive work and make yourself valuable, then you can be who you are and eventually will fit in. 2) having the internship can easily be a ticket to a different company where you may fit in better. stick out the internship and go for the next opportunity. i still am not the most social, and I often participate in groups without saying much. but I know my work is appreciated and valued, and I am able to interact enough that I'm not a nuisance. and as I've come to appreciate that, i have become more comfortable with myself in that context. you don't necessarily have to change who you are, as long as you can become comfortable with who you are. good luck! |
#42
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Hey I'm one of those very actuaries that your boss describes ![]() Networking events with mostly strangers is sort of an extreme example of a scary situation for an introvert, and, fortunately, it's rare enough that most of us can resort to alcohol to get by and do well. we "self medicate". But for everyday problems like the op describes, self medicating would be a very bad idea, and there's no shame at all in seeking out professional help, including prescribed anxiety medicine |
#43
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![]() OP, I'm sorry to hear you're going through this. Echoing other posters in that there is some great advice in this thread. Also, want to say it will get better. I had similar feelings when I first started out - not fitting in, feeling super awkward at all the forced socializing.
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#44
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#45
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We parents are pretty intuitive. We'll pick up that there is something bothering you, and it will drive us crazy until we know what it is. Yes, they might sound/act worried when you first tell them, because they'll be worried that the problem is even bigger than what you're telling them. But they will be more than happy to help out. That's what parents do. We want to help. We want to be useful. Letting you use the insurance that they're already paying for... that's just a no-brainer. Last edited by Egghead; 06-29-2018 at 06:15 PM.. |
#46
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![]() My propensity for self-medicating at an alarmingly increasing rate is why I'm on the meds. Not a good long term solution for the mentally ill.
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#47
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![]() I had a problem similar to this when I was put in some sort of leadership program. I was the only actuary there. I was also older than everybody else, because I'm a career changer. So I struggled to fit in from a variety of perspectives. Heck, I've even had the same problem among other actuaries, especially early in my career when I was several years older than my peers.
In both situations, I defaulted to my old standby: humor. I'm not hilarious. But I can occasionally make people chuckle. People see you as more human when you do that. Not sure if that works for the OP. But I've seen a lot of introverts use that successfully. |
#49
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![]() My advice definitely goes along with what everyone else has been saying. You're not alone OP. I'm currently in my first internship too and I can definitely relate to the whole "worrying about how I'm doing compared to others (they seem to be picking it up so much faster!), will I be the only one to not get an offer, why is everything that the full time actuaries say going over my head". I think a lot of us go through this and you should just focus on YOU. So many of the problems we give ourselves are in our own head.
Put forth your best effort, ask questions about problems you run into, and do the best work that you possibly can. Anything beyond that is out of your control. Even if everything you hand in is completely and totally wrong, at least you can say you gave it your best shot and you can learn from your mistakes. As people have said before, if things don't work out at this company learn as much as you can and use this experience to help you find another job and try again! I hope this was somewhat helpful. Take a step back, take a deep breath, and try to enjoy the opportunity as much as you can. Good luck with the rest of your internship, you'll do great!
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#50
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