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  #11  
Old 06-29-2018, 12:56 AM
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ronaldy27 ronaldy27 is offline
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You can PM me if you want to talk on the phone.
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  #12  
Old 06-29-2018, 01:43 AM
NchooseK NchooseK is online now
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You can PM me if you want to talk on the phone.
Ronaldy, you really are awesome!
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  #13  
Old 06-29-2018, 02:19 AM
Harbinger Harbinger is offline
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How do you manage at college in social settings? There is a reason people in our profession are seen as awkward introverts that don't look you in the face when they talk to you, it's because many really act that way, so you're not alone.

Also, I echo the sentiments said above about going to talk to a psychologist. There are medications out there to help you overcome anxiety and especially depression.
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  #14  
Old 06-29-2018, 02:31 AM
shadowrunner shadowrunner is offline
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How do you manage at college in social settings? There is a reason people in our profession are seen as awkward introverts that don't look you in the face when they talk to you, it's because many really act that way, so you're not alone.

Also, I echo the sentiments said above about going to talk to a psychologist. There are medications out there to help you overcome anxiety and especially depression.
i thought that too coming into my internship. maybe its just my office, but the employees here certainly don't seem awkward at all.

they all seem to be able to contribute to a conversation atleast... all i can manage to say is "yeah", "haha", or "sure".

Last edited by shadowrunner; 07-08-2018 at 03:05 PM..
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  #15  
Old 06-29-2018, 03:14 AM
Fracktuary Fracktuary is offline
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I started an actuarial internship about a month ago and I absolutely hate my life. I always had anxiety and I have not been able to interact very well with most of the interns (just made 1 acquaintance). They aren't rude or anything, but I always had trouble socializing and I was fine with keeping to myself. My manager however has been encouraging me to hang out with the interns more and said behavior is a big part of whether or not you get a return offer (which I'm probably not going to get). I smile and stuff when I'm listening to people talk, but I just can't join the conversation. At this point, the interns have also stopped trying to talk to me cause they feel hopeless about me as well. The thing is I CANT interact with them...idk... i need to talk to a shrink or something, but I just get too anxious and have nothing in common. Furthermore, this has been affecting my work performance because I lack the courage to ask help from the other interns if I have any. I thus go to my manager for all my questions, but I'm starting to feel this is a problem because he wants me to find my own connections to get help. So now I'm hesitating to get help at all, which I know is worse than getting help from only my manager.

Right now I realize an office position probably won't be the right fit for me and that I will have to look elsewhere for a career. Until I fix my personal problems, I will probably have trouble in any office position.

What is freaking me out even more is that in a month the company sends interns that "meet expectations" to the headquarters and I feel like I'm most probably not going to get selected. This isn't meant to be a difficult thing to achieve... I very strongly believe I will be the only intern to not travel. I can't help but feel embarrassed that I will not only look like an outcast, but people will also realize that I am a complete failure at my work. I wouldn't care normally, but some of these people go to my school and I'll have to confront them again. I know this isn't a problem for most of you, but I can't help but feel guilty and embarrassed and inferior.

Moreover, I also don't catch whats happening in meetings. My manager brings me along to his meetings with his manager and the rest of the team, and I don't understand anything. They talk about what they're working on and I usually ask my manager 2-3 questions after the meeting just to make it seem like I'm paying attention but I barely understand whats going on. Furthermore, I find these meetings very very boring. I try to control myself, but I yawn atleast twice an hour during each meeting. I know this looks bad and I try to cover it, but I think people start to notice. I try to pay attention, but things just go in one ear and out the other.


I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking for, but I just needed to get this off my chest. I'll be graduating in 6 months and will most probably need to figure out what I'm going to do after college, but right now I am horribly depressed. I hate waking up in the morning -- I get stomach cramps during breakfast just knowing that I'll have to face my manager and the other interns today. Everyday I'm stressing my boss telling me I'm not travelling to the headquarters, and I'm not sure what I'll be doing if I'm the only intern in the office.... I just feel completely defeated.
Calm down, take a deep breath. Interns arenít expected to know things or understand things. When you are given a task, try and follow the directions. If you still have issues, try and ask for clarity.

If you want to seem more social, work on getting people to talk about themselves. Start with the same sex (itís usually easier), smile and nod and try to seem sincere. You wonít get better by taking a break from the work force, you will get better if you practice.

Iíve been in your shoes before so I sincerely wish you good luck. Anxiety is not a fun thing to deal with,
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  #16  
Old 06-29-2018, 04:53 AM
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PeppermintPatty PeppermintPatty is offline
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I'm a parent of a young adult with an anxiety disorder and depression. See a doctor. Your parents will be glad if you can get help.
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  #17  
Old 06-29-2018, 08:37 AM
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I also have anxiety. I also hated my first internship, and felt like I was constantly failing (it's a very hard thing to go from being one of the smartest people in the room, to being on par or below everyone else).

Funny thing, in retrospect, I wasn't failing, I just couldn't see my situation for what it was.

I actually turned down an offer from that place, since I thought I hated insurance and was terrible at that job, and went into a different area of practice for almost a decade, only to come back to the exact same small department at the same insurance company where I interned. And now I'm loving it.

Everyone's situation is unique, and maybe you are sucking at this job, I don't know; you're likely not the best person to evaluate that, though, especially if you suffer from anxiety and depression. We are our harshest critics.

I agree with the advice of talking to a doctor. Get meds if you need them; they helped me for a while when I needed it, until I learned how to fake not being super anxious all the time, and then eventually learned how to not care that I was awkward. Being around other actuaries regularly helps, since they're just as awkward as I am.

Just because you don't fit in there doesn't mean you won't fit in somewhere. Don't decide this career isn't right for you based solely on this one experience. It takes a long time to rock it as an actuary, or even to understand enough to do anything on your own without asking a ton of questions, so try to learn from this experience and not beat yourself up over it.

Good luck...
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  #18  
Old 06-29-2018, 08:54 AM
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You are not alone
You are not alone
You are not alone
You are not alone
You are not alone


Many of us have been through similar phases to one degree or another.

As others have said, go talk to a counselor of some kind. Consider anti anxiety meds. Anxiety meds aren't the right answer for every case, but they might be right for you.

Are you involved in a faith community of any kind? If so, talk to someone there.

Talk to your parents. They love you and want the best for you. They do not want you to suffer.

All the best to you.
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  #19  
Old 06-29-2018, 08:56 AM
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GargoyleWaiting GargoyleWaiting is offline
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I've nothing to add here, there's people that have already posted who know much more about this than I do.
OP - listen to them, you're getting solid advice from people who know what they're talking about. And good luck.
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But the mosquitoes in New Brunswick Bay of Fundy did mess with my understanding of some limited loss functions
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Excel gave me #VALUE.

Edit: Nevermind, I was linking a sumif and didn't open the linked spreadsheet. It is now giving me #N/A.
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  #20  
Old 06-29-2018, 09:39 AM
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GargoyleWaiting GargoyleWaiting is offline
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But the mosquitoes in New Brunswick Bay of Fundy did mess with my understanding of some limited loss functions
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Originally Posted by King of the North View Post
Excel gave me #VALUE.

Edit: Nevermind, I was linking a sumif and didn't open the linked spreadsheet. It is now giving me #N/A.

Last edited by GargoyleWaiting; 07-03-2018 at 02:57 AM.. Reason: Posts removed making this irrelevant
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