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  #21  
Old 06-29-2018, 10:40 AM
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Originally Posted by GargoyleWaiting View Post
This statement is less true now than when I first wrote it.


OP, listen to the posters prior to Gargoyle's post.
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  #22  
Old 06-29-2018, 10:40 AM
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Originally Posted by UFActuary View Post
But the mosquitoes in New Brunswick Bay of Fundy did mess with my understanding of some limited loss functions
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Originally Posted by King of the North View Post
Excel gave me #VALUE.

Edit: Nevermind, I was linking a sumif and didn't open the linked spreadsheet. It is now giving me #N/A.

Last edited by GargoyleWaiting; 07-03-2018 at 03:57 AM.. Reason: Posts removed making this irrelevant
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  #23  
Old 06-29-2018, 10:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UFActuary View Post
But the mosquitoes in New Brunswick Bay of Fundy did mess with my understanding of some limited loss functions
Quote:
Originally Posted by King of the North View Post
Excel gave me #VALUE.

Edit: Nevermind, I was linking a sumif and didn't open the linked spreadsheet. It is now giving me #N/A.

Last edited by GargoyleWaiting; 07-03-2018 at 03:57 AM.. Reason: Posts removed making this irrelevant
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  #24  
Old 06-29-2018, 10:47 AM
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...At this point, the interns have also stopped trying to talk to me cause they feel hopeless about me as well.
This is your interpretation, because you are feeling anxious about it. But some of them are probably equally nervous about the future, even if they don't appear to be.

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Originally Posted by shadowrunner View Post
Furthermore, this has been affecting my work performance because I lack the courage to ask help from the other interns if I have any. ....
Has someone told you that your work performance is suffering? If not, this may be just your anxiety again. Your work may actually be awesome!

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Originally Posted by shadowrunner View Post
...Moreover, I also don't catch whats happening in meetings. ...Furthermore, I find these meetings very very boring. I try to control myself, but I yawn atleast twice an hour during each meeting. ...
If the meetings are going on for "hours" then you probably aren't the only one to find them boring!


There is a limit as to how far you can change your personality. But the good news is that it takes all sorts of people to make a business work. I went for a job once where they effectively said "we've got lots of extroverts / people pleasers, who want to spend all day selling themselves / their abilities / the company; what we need are some people who can keep their heads down and actually do some work". Your company may actually need someone like you.
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  #25  
Old 06-29-2018, 10:55 AM
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OP, everything except the two garbage trolling posts (that were deleted) is good advice.
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Last edited by Moderator37; 06-29-2018 at 04:09 PM.. Reason: removed quote of the two "garbage trolling posts"
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  #26  
Old 06-29-2018, 10:55 AM
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When you're going through anxiety or depression, you perceive the world much differently from what it really is. Most of your fellow interns and managers are probably just worried about doing their work and don't really think about you. Don't get overly caught up with how they're perceiving you. They might think you're just busy with your work and your mind is occupied by work rather than not wanting to socialize.

When I was interning, there was one intern who never came down to lunch to eat with the rest of us and I initially thought he was "shy" but that was totally untrue. He was confident and prob gave the best presentation at the end of the internship.

When you're having social anxiety, don't think about what others "might" be thinking, just focus on yourself. It's difficult and exhausting but these mental issues are just in your head and you can overcome them if you have the will.

I loved Beautiful Mind. Watch that movie when you have free time.
Again, I sent you a PM and we can schedule a call this weekend if you want.
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  #27  
Old 06-29-2018, 11:07 AM
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(sorry, cleaning up quotes of deleted posts)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UFActuary View Post
But the mosquitoes in New Brunswick Bay of Fundy did mess with my understanding of some limited loss functions
Quote:
Originally Posted by King of the North View Post
Excel gave me #VALUE.

Edit: Nevermind, I was linking a sumif and didn't open the linked spreadsheet. It is now giving me #N/A.

Last edited by Moderator37; 06-29-2018 at 04:10 PM.. Reason: quote of deleted post.
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  #28  
Old 06-29-2018, 11:14 AM
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Shadowrunner, I was in a very similar situation as you during my internship. I had already come to grips with my social anxiety and was actively speaking with a psychiatrist and taking medications, but the awkwardness/fear was still quite difficult at times.

My company emphasized how important is was for successful interns to prove they are a good fit for the company and that they socialize/network well with their peers. I didn't resent the company for this -- after all, people want to work with other like-able people -- but I was petrified that I would not receive a return offer since these things did not come naturally and were counter to everything my brain was telling me to do. And I really wanted an offer -- there aren't too many actuarial jobs in my city, and my (then soon-to-be) wife and I preferred not to re-locate.

Here's what I did to best stand out and show I would be a valuable addition to the company:
1. Work hard (and I mean hard); do everything I could to learn, produce, and ask meaningful questions. Complete tasks completely and punctually. Be open to challenges and new projects.
2. Continue studying during the internship. Make it clear that you are not treating the summer as a vacation from exams (not that that is a bad thing, but this definitely helped me & harmed other interns who didn't study at all).
3. Suffer through as much social interaction as you can tolerate. There's no way around if you want to work in an office, and I found that while I always had a difficult time relating to the other interns, I was able to interact more easily with my manager and other seasoned actuaries.

I ended up getting a glowing review from my manager and was fortunate enough to receive a return offer. I don't say all this to brag, and having a successful internship is certainly not the most important thing in the world or end-all-be-all. Just know that it is possible and that you are not alone in your struggles. I echo (most) of the advice provided earlier in this thread.
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  #29  
Old 06-29-2018, 11:44 AM
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Originally Posted by shadowrunner View Post
I started an actuarial internship about a month ago and I absolutely hate my life.

....
Hey, so I actually had a very similar internship experience. I was dealing with a lot of things and just felt super isolated from all the other interns. At the time, I was too anxious to go to happy hours or eat in the cafeteria, and all of my conversations felt so forced that I was always on edge. I didn't get a follow up offer, even though I think I did good work. I'm 99% certain that not having the bandwidth for people skills is what cost me that offer. I got a job after graduation elsewhere and really struggled there as well until I did two things:

1. Figured out my med situation. I know the stigma sucks and going to the doctor sucks and everyone says you should be able to do it without a prescription, but those people should be kicked in the head every morning and then told that they shouldn't need pain reliever. I can't function without medication. I've tried going off it a million times, and it's hopeless. Coming to terms with that improved my life exponentially. At the end of the day, even if you have a job where you never have to talk to anyone ever, do you want to spend the rest of your life too anxious to buy groceries? There's got to be a better way. For me, that better way was medication.

2. Found a place where I could actually fit into the culture. Every place is going to want you to be able to reach out to other people via email or phone call. Not every place is going to want you to socialize with your coworkers and attend all the happy hours and be a part of a very specific corporate culture. Finding a place where there's room for people like you and no one's going to give you a hard time about being quiet is so important. I still struggle from time to time, and there's room in my company for me to have bad weeks or months and not get booted off the island. You probably won't find it right away, but what you're looking for is a low key place where people won't judge you for everything all the time. It's easier to find this in a smaller city, but every company is different.


You can do this. You're not alone. Do your best, learn to yawn internally (the trick is just keeping your jaw shut), and remember that there is life after internship.
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  #30  
Old 06-29-2018, 12:41 PM
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I started an actuarial internship about a month ago and I absolutely hate my life. I always had anxiety and I have not been able to interact very well with most of the interns (just made 1 acquaintance). They aren't rude or anything, but I always had trouble socializing and I was fine with keeping to myself. My manager however has been encouraging me to hang out with the interns more and said behavior is a big part of whether or not you get a return offer (which I'm probably not going to get). I smile and stuff when I'm listening to people talk, but I just can't join the conversation. At this point, the interns have also stopped trying to talk to me cause they feel hopeless about me as well. The thing is I CANT interact with them...idk... i need to talk to a shrink or something, but I just get too anxious and have nothing in common. Furthermore, this has been affecting my work performance because I lack the courage to ask help from the other interns if I have any. I thus go to my manager for all my questions, but I'm starting to feel this is a problem because he wants me to find my own connections to get help. So now I'm hesitating to get help at all, which I know is worse than getting help from only my manager.

Right now I realize an office position probably won't be the right fit for me and that I will have to look elsewhere for a career. Until I fix my personal problems, I will probably have trouble in any office position.

What is freaking me out even more is that in a month the company sends interns that "meet expectations" to the headquarters and I feel like I'm most probably not going to get selected. This isn't meant to be a difficult thing to achieve... I very strongly believe I will be the only intern to not travel. I can't help but feel embarrassed that I will not only look like an outcast, but people will also realize that I am a complete failure at my work. I wouldn't care normally, but some of these people go to my school and I'll have to confront them again. I know this isn't a problem for most of you, but I can't help but feel guilty and embarrassed and inferior.

Moreover, I also don't catch whats happening in meetings. My manager brings me along to his meetings with his manager and the rest of the team, and I don't understand anything. They talk about what they're working on and I usually ask my manager 2-3 questions after the meeting just to make it seem like I'm paying attention but I barely understand whats going on. Furthermore, I find these meetings very very boring. I try to control myself, but I yawn atleast twice an hour during each meeting. I know this looks bad and I try to cover it, but I think people start to notice. I try to pay attention, but things just go in one ear and out the other.


I'm not entirely sure what I'm asking for, but I just needed to get this off my chest. I'll be graduating in 6 months and will most probably need to figure out what I'm going to do after college, but right now I am horribly depressed. I hate waking up in the morning -- I get stomach cramps during breakfast just knowing that I'll have to face my manager and the other interns today. Everyday I'm stressing my boss telling me I'm not travelling to the headquarters, and I'm not sure what I'll be doing if I'm the only intern in the office.... I just feel completely defeated.
Based solely on this post, I would say that you have very good written communication skills. But yah, you're going to have to develop more confidence and ability with interpersonal communication and social situations

Whatever you do, don't quit your internship, even if you don't make the cut for the trip. Finish it up, and it will still be on your resume. Then go to work on solving your anxiety issues and just consider this internship as a personal learning experience.
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