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  #1  
Old 11-09-2018, 04:15 PM
Latitude30 Latitude30 is offline
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Default Coping with a family situation as an actuary (non-Actuarial topic)

So my spouse, I and our toddler went to an outdoor picnic music event for kids and families and my spouse met a friend who was a stay-at-home parent who lives quite lavishly while her husband is taking Actuarial exams. We, on the other hand, are not living ‘lavishly’ on 1 ASA income and some small side cash gigs.

I also took a fall exam, but different tracks. After that picnic event in September, the moms hung out usually with the kids on weekends while the other dad and me hit the studybooks, well at least I did.

Then came the Halloween Party and sure enough all the dads were there and by surprise, the other actuary dad showed for this event the afternoon prior to a 5-hour exam. But I wanted to touch up on some last minute memory refreshing for the next day’s exam.

I got the people saying “it’s like you might as well be a single mom, where’s your hubby?”

Then came the exam and I feel confident this time the studying paid off. I felt rewarded.

But then

Spouse talked to spouse of other actuary dad. Turned out he didn’t take his exam he did a no show.

Fast forward 15 minutes later
“You know why he Didn’t take his exam? In a twist of events, he landed an ASA job offer at a Senior level for $315K with a major responsibility and Long hours. So because he’s a ‘decent husband and father’, he’s willing to put down the exam books till his kids are older to bring some f—ing Money so his spouse can stay home and have it good!

“But I knew it all along , YOU are lazy ....you can be doing what HE did but you won’t...you only will do 40 hours/week well.... that’s just NOT FAIR, you LAZY SOB!!!!”

How would you deal with that family trauma
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  #2  
Old 11-09-2018, 04:27 PM
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Meshuga Meshuga is online now
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m/s
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  #3  
Old 11-09-2018, 04:33 PM
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Cut the other actuary's family out of your life.
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Old 11-09-2018, 04:35 PM
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Colonel Smoothie Colonel Smoothie is offline
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is he hiring
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Don't you even think about sending me your resume. I'll turn it into an origami boulder and return it to you.
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  #5  
Old 11-09-2018, 04:36 PM
Latitude30 Latitude30 is offline
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is he hiring
No
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  #6  
Old 11-09-2018, 04:39 PM
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BG5150 BG5150 is online now
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I don't understand why he didn't take the exam. He spent all that time & effort into studying. Why not just sit for the exam?

Lesson here is maybe you should take more exams and catch up to the other guy.
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Old 11-09-2018, 04:39 PM
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Plus: grass is greener...
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Old 11-09-2018, 04:40 PM
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Colonel Smoothie Colonel Smoothie is offline
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No
awww, shucks
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Don't you even think about sending me your resume. I'll turn it into an origami boulder and return it to you.
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  #9  
Old 11-09-2018, 04:41 PM
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Colonel Smoothie Colonel Smoothie is offline
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I'll just heed the advice of the AO and apply anyway with a thoughtful cold email
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Don't you even think about sending me your resume. I'll turn it into an origami boulder and return it to you.
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  #10  
Old 11-09-2018, 04:47 PM
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Most people that scrutinize you are likely just trying to validate their own life choices.
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