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Old 02-06-2017, 06:08 PM
moipa moipa is offline
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Default EL resume critique/advice?


Last edited by moipa; 10-17-2018 at 12:06 PM.. Reason: no longer relevant
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Old 02-07-2017, 12:53 AM
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vjvj vjvj is online now
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Two of the most important sections are squeezed into one line. I would list one exam per line to make sure that the number that you've passed is obvious at a glance. Instead you've got a dense, hard-to-read line that takes an effort to read. Same with education. Put the degree on its own line. Put the GPA on its own line. Don't use parenthesis.

I'd also leave off "Graduation Date:"

OK, that obviously requires more space. Thankfully, you have plenty to cut. For the researcher bullet, talk like you're talking to someone who has no background in what you did. Which is almost certainly the case. Who care whether there are both unicellular and multicellular choanoflagellate colonies. What I'd do instead is try to describe the big picture of the research in as close to layman's terms as you can get away with. What you've focused on instead is just one task "analyzed footage", one app "utilized Excel", and the meaningless "collaborated". I know that you want to get across that you used (which means the same as "utilized", btw, and is way easier to read) Excel, but you sell Excel skills better by focusing on what you accomplished with Excel rather than just that you "utilized" it. Similar thing with "collaborating". You presumably collaborated by doing something (or better, accomplishing something). That's a better thing to focus on. I'd be careful with stuff like "detailed". Some reader may take it as an indication that you waste time on unnecessary detail. You're trying to use it as hype, but it really doesn't hype anything, so you've got no benefit and a possible down side.

The employer and job title seem very long and confusing. Keep it simple. Don't add unnecessary stuff.

I'd abbreviate months everywhere to make it just a little less dense and a little easier to read.

Keep the computer job bullet simple. You probably only need one and that's perfectly fine (no bullets is also perfectly fine if a job is clear from the title). Definitely leave off the meaningless filler of "to meet library needs" (duh) and "regularly". Keep it short and simple.

Since you seem to be selling the projects as programming examples, I'd think you should mention your computer skills first. I'd not group computer skills with activities.

I'd leave the colons off the Experience with and Basic knowledge of. You don't need the "MS" or Office. I'd instead explicitly list Access, if you have experience. Everyone has used Word and PP and I'd hope you can handle an email reader. I'd leave off Photoshop, as I'd hope it isn't relevant to the places where you're applying.

I'd simplify the projects. Again, you're trying to get across accomplishment, so leave off unnecessary stuff - course name, the task-y "developed, optimized, and coded". I see no need to list the date and especially when you have to resort to semester. If your robot did well in competition, mention it. Btw, I'd not be surprised if some of those reading your resume have competed.

The activities can be cut if you need space. I'd leave off the dates. If you can list any of them as accomplishments rather than just as an activity item, I'd do that. One accomplishment is way better than a list of items. If you keep all three, I'd probably reverse them. Fellowship is common and not all that noteworthy (for the purposes of a resume) imo. Same with IM. Dance is more unusual.

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Old 02-07-2017, 08:19 AM
moipa moipa is offline
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 3

Thanks for all the feedback! I just had a quick follow up question.

I'm not sure how employers would view programming projects like mine that aren't actuary related. Would they see it as a plus, or just consider it not relevant enough for their needs? And if so would it be a good idea for me to do a personal project in VBA or something to add on there?
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