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2017 ACTUARIAL SALARY SURVEYS
Contact DW Simpson for a Personalized Salary Survey

View Poll Results: Daily time spent with SO?
< 1 hour per day, I got stuff to do! 1 1.82%
1 - 2 hours per day 7 12.73%
3 - 4 hours per day 15 27.27%
4 - 5 hours per day 10 18.18%
5+ hours per day, HOW COULD IT BE LESS! 19 34.55%
42 seconds per minute 3 5.45%
Voters: 55. You may not vote on this poll

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  #51  
Old 05-14-2018, 01:09 PM
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Originally Posted by PeppermintPatty View Post
Yeah, we spend a lot of time apart. He goes out every Thursday without me. I go out every other Wednesday without him, and often do other less regular stuff without him. I even travel without Chuck sometimes. But still, I did some math, and it averages over 5 hours awake and both home, or out at the same place.

We're not really interacting with each other all of that time. He might be watching TV while I'm reading the AO or something. But I think by the way you set this up it counts.
I would love to be able to get to this point (separate nights away from each other), but I can't imagine it's feasible while kids are young.
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  #52  
Old 05-14-2018, 02:04 PM
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Probably not. Mine are grown.
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  #53  
Old 05-14-2018, 02:19 PM
Dr T Non-Fan Dr T Non-Fan is online now
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Originally Posted by NerdAlert View Post
I would love to be able to get to this point (separate nights away from each other), but I can't imagine it's feasible while kids are young.
Probably harder to get away together. That means setting up a sitter.

If either of you is going to make a stink about one going out and leaving the other at home, or keep a running count of "who's winning," then yeah, sounds like there are bigger problems.
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  #54  
Old 05-14-2018, 02:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Dr T Non-Fan View Post
Probably harder to get away together. That means setting up a sitter.

If either of you is going to make a stink about one going out and leaving the other at home, or keep a running count of "who's winning," then yeah, sounds like there are bigger problems.
It's more like he genuinely enjoys being at home with the kids and I have a limit and like to go out and do things independently, but I feel guilty about it because he has no similar interest. So it feels like I'm dumping the work on him and he never gets to dump any on me. He's never indicated that he's keeping track, or holding any resentment over it, but it's hard for me to get past my own guilt.

But I'm getting better about it. I just started looking for a recurring (weekly, maybe biweekly) event that will take me out of the house after the kids are asleep. No luck yet, but I think I'll find something.

As for sitters, my family still lives in town (I am from a huge family) and we can always find someone to watch the kids. So it's actually much easier to get out together, and we do.
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  #55  
Old Today, 04:39 PM
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I would love to be able to get to this point (separate nights away from each other), but I can't imagine it's feasible while kids are young.
It's not. My daughter is 9 and my son just turned 13 and the last year I have been getting back into playing golf. It's just too hard to take that time when they are young and extremely dependent. Now that they are becoming independent things like this are becoming easier. My wife and I also get more quality time together even when the kids are around because they do their own things at home instead of needing constant attention or entertainment from mom and dad. Of course something my mom told me once is starting to ring true with my son. She said "the more you became a really enjoyable person to spend time with as you got older, the less time you spent with me". It's kind of funny how that works.
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  #56  
Old Today, 04:40 PM
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"the more you became a really enjoyable person to spend time with as you got older, the less time you spent with me". It's kind of funny how that works.
As someone whose oldest is 2.5, that's a sad thought
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