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  #71  
Old 08-23-2019, 11:10 PM
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The smell of those colored smoke things people set off in the stands of a sporting event. I know, other people complain that they stink. Always liked smoke bombs on the 4th of July, which have a very similar smell.
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  #72  
Old 08-24-2019, 11:44 AM
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Speculating on stock options. Sometimes I lose a thousand bucks, some times I make a thousand bucks. It's probably not responsible, but it's damn fun and I usually come out slightly ahead.
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  #73  
Old 08-30-2019, 09:20 AM
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The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Writing Competition

Some winners and dishonorable mentions:

Quote:
2019 Grand Prize
Space Fleet Commander Brad Brad sat in silence, surrounded by a slowly dissipating cloud of smoke, maintaining the same forlorn frown that had been fixed upon his face since he’d accidentally destroyed the phenomenon known as time, thirteen inches ago.

Adventure
Dropping his now-empty Remington .30-06 and tearing across the tundra after two weeks of hunting in the Alaskan wilderness in the company of none other than three-time Olympic sprinter Usain Bolt—the rustic outing being the spoils of his winning bid at the Sun Valley Country Day School live-auction fundraiser—Bart Michaelman realized with dismay that, in this particular instance, he did in fact have to outrun the bear.

Children's Literature
Old man Buckman had been murdering and dismembering teenagers in our town for years, and getting away with it, and it's important to emphasize this right up front, because young readers like you have painfully short attention spans, and unless a story grabs you right off the bat, you'll be back on your video games or phones or skateboards in the blink of an eye.

Crime/Detective
Realising that his symptoms indicated a virtually undetectable, fast acting neurotoxin, CIA coroner Quinn Abner frantically wrote up the details, lay on the floor and, as a professional courtesy, did his best to draw a chalk outline of himself.

Science Fiction
The frequent and robust bouts of coupling that young Liam shared with his robot girlfriend Esther-4.0, while satisfying, often reminded him of eating chocolate covered cherries without removing the foil wrapper.

Vile puns
After purchasing an oval Chinese frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat’s yard sale, Nigel realized that he’d just taken a long wok off a short Peer.

After almost twenty years of baldness, Harry finally decided to splurge on an expensive, human-hair wig – after all, four hundred dollars to look twenty years younger was a small price toupée.
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  #74  
Old 08-30-2019, 09:33 AM
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These were awesome, thanks for sharing!
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  #75  
Old 08-30-2019, 09:33 AM
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Instant coffee
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  #76  
Old 08-30-2019, 09:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tbug View Post
These were awesome, thanks for sharing!
I'm glad you enjoyed them more than you should


At least, I hope they'll make your day better given its start.
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Why should I worry about dying? It’s not going to happen in my lifetime!


Freedom of speech is not a license to discourtesy

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  #77  
Old 08-30-2019, 09:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Vorian Atreides View Post
The Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Writing Competition

Some winners and dishonorable mentions:
Thanks for sharing... I also enjoyed those more than i should have.
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  #78  
Old 08-30-2019, 09:50 AM
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Jobs done by hand.
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  #79  
Old 08-30-2019, 10:39 AM
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Jobs done by hand.
Hey-yo!!!
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  #80  
Old 08-30-2019, 10:48 AM
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Jobs done by hand.
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Originally Posted by yoyo View Post
Hey-yo!!!
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