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  #1  
Old 04-22-2020, 01:51 PM
stoneking stoneking is offline
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Default Feeling drown and burnt out at new role

Recently promoted to a new role with a lot more responsibility in managing expectations from senior management. I've been putting my 100% and putting in long hours to make sure my products and communications are on point and relevant.

Overall the feedback from senior management has been OK, not great, not too bad. Still a lot of areas of improvements. I realized even though the feedback is not on the negative side, but apparently there are a lot of areas still need to be sharpened. And some of that I tried so hard to show I had made progress, they don't always come out the way I wanted. This result brings my self confidence level to a new low. I can't help but think I am not there yet to perform at my current role. All of these make my brain go blank when I sit there thinking about how to improve on my weak points.

I don't know what I am looking for tbh. Just wanted to post this to get this off my chest. Feel free to roast away.
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Old 04-22-2020, 02:00 PM
OnLevel OnLevel is offline
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First, and foremost, relax. This is just an (actuarial?) job, not the end of the world if it doesn't pan out.

Do you like the job?
What kind of job is it? Individual contributor? Middle Manager?

Why do you think you're struggling? Is it you? Is it the job? Is it your boss?
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Old 04-22-2020, 02:04 PM
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ImPrettyDumb ImPrettyDumb is offline
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I think most people feel like they don't belong when they start a new position. Senior Management rarely gives routine complimentary feedback in my experience. The lack of any real negative feedback seems like a good thing to me. Keep at it and one day you'll suddenly realize that you got this.
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Old 04-22-2020, 02:38 PM
stoneking stoneking is offline
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Originally Posted by OnLevel View Post
First, and foremost, relax. This is just an (actuarial?) job, not the end of the world if it doesn't pan out.

Do you like the job?
What kind of job is it? Individual contributor? Middle Manager?

Why do you think you're struggling? Is it you? Is it the job? Is it your boss?
Thanks. My role is higher than a middle manager.

I think it's my shortcoming and the nature of the job that I am struggling. I am generally good at analytical work, managing a team of analysts, and manage the expectation from the actuarial department. My boss has been great in guiding, but somehow I miss the target over and over again.

Agree that it's not the end of the world. Having always been seen as a capable person, it's just a bit hard to swallow the situation I'm at and have no immediate way to make myself better.
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Old 04-22-2020, 02:39 PM
stoneking stoneking is offline
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Originally Posted by ImPrettyDumb View Post
I think most people feel like they don't belong when they start a new position. Senior Management rarely gives routine complimentary feedback in my experience. The lack of any real negative feedback seems like a good thing to me. Keep at it and one day you'll suddenly realize that you got this.
Thank you. Believe it or not, this brought tears in my eyes - which sounds quite ridiculous
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Old 04-22-2020, 03:00 PM
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I'm not in management, but I started a new position about a year ago. It was a lot different from anything I had done before, and there was a big learning curve. My first few months I thought things were going great, but then when someone stepped in to do formal review on my big project, everything fell apart. They asked questions about topics that I hadn't even gotten close to considering. Fast forward to a year later, and things are going way better. I'm digging a lot deeper into things, and I know a lot more. It's been hard, but I'm happy with where things are headed.

I guess I'm just saying all that to let you know I can relate to the part where you feel like you're capable, but somehow still failing. I stuck at it, and things have gotten better over time. Hopefully things get better for you too!
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Old 04-22-2020, 03:07 PM
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I dunno it seems like you're a successful person so it's really up to you to find happiness in yourself. Or at least, I think most people would say that if you moved from taking FM in 2008 to past middle management today that you are.

The pressure to move up never goes away imo. When I was an analyst, I encountered an actuary 10 years my senior who was really, really pissed off when a guy three years younger than him got promoted to a higher title.

I was baffled at the time and I was like, why you gotta be like that man? He made three times as much as I did and had a great wife and kids and if I thought if I had that who cares if some dude you barely know outranks you. I already felt that analyst money was comfortable.

Fast forward many years later and now that I'm getting closer to being in his shoes as he was then, I get it. My peers want to climb ever higher and so do I. In my last job I encountered an extremely bitter 50 year old person who was told he'd never make partner and asked me why the hell would anyone want to be stuck making $600k per year. You're never gonna be happy if you keep moving the goalposts that define when you're gonna be happy.
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Old 04-22-2020, 03:43 PM
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Originally Posted by ImPrettyDumb View Post
I think most people feel like they don't belong when they start a new position.


Doubly so when you hit your first properly senior role, which it sounds like you might have. If there's no negative feedback, then keep doing what you're doing.

My tip for this - assuming you are now one of the grown ups in the company - make sure your boss has plenty of opportunities to give you any feedback. There's a level where it feels a bit weird to explicitly ask for feedback on how you are doing, but if you have enough open honest meetings then you can have some comfort that, if nothing's been said, then nothing's too bad.
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Old 04-22-2020, 05:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Colonel Smoothie View Post
I dunno it seems like you're a successful person so it's really up to you to find happiness in yourself. Or at least, I think most people would say that if you moved from taking FM in 2008 to past middle management today that you are.

The pressure to move up never goes away imo. When I was an analyst, I encountered an actuary 10 years my senior who was really, really pissed off when a guy three years younger than him got promoted to a higher title.

I was baffled at the time and I was like, why you gotta be like that man? He made three times as much as I did and had a great wife and kids and if I thought if I had that who cares if some dude you barely know outranks you. I already felt that analyst money was comfortable.

Fast forward many years later and now that I'm getting closer to being in his shoes as he was then, I get it. My peers want to climb ever higher and so do I. In my last job I encountered an extremely bitter 50 year old person who was told he'd never make partner and asked me why the hell would anyone want to be stuck making $600k per year. You're never gonna be happy if you keep moving the goalposts that define when you're gonna be happy.
and at being "stuck" at $600k
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Old 04-22-2020, 09:51 PM
stoneking stoneking is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colonel Smoothie View Post
I dunno it seems like you're a successful person so it's really up to you to find happiness in yourself. Or at least, I think most people would say that if you moved from taking FM in 2008 to past middle management today that you are.

The pressure to move up never goes away imo. When I was an analyst, I encountered an actuary 10 years my senior who was really, really pissed off when a guy three years younger than him got promoted to a higher title.

I was baffled at the time and I was like, why you gotta be like that man? He made three times as much as I did and had a great wife and kids and if I thought if I had that who cares if some dude you barely know outranks you. I already felt that analyst money was comfortable.

Fast forward many years later and now that I'm getting closer to being in his shoes as he was then, I get it. My peers want to climb ever higher and so do I. In my last job I encountered an extremely bitter 50 year old person who was told he'd never make partner and asked me why the hell would anyone want to be stuck making $600k per year. You're never gonna be happy if you keep moving the goalposts that define when you're gonna be happy.
Money is not my motivation. I can never make enough money to make myself happy because you can burn your money on so much fancy toys.

I have a great wife and kids, and overall healthy. I think I should be happy. I got upset because I didn't get the bosses' praise for my work, or some other guy doing a better job than me. Now that I think about it, it's pretty stupid.

Thanks for the story.
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