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Old 03-09-2017, 01:46 AM
Ala2015 Ala2015 is offline
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Default EL Resume and cover letter advice

Hey everyone! I'm currently looking for my first entry level job and was wondering how my resume stacked up. I didn't have any internships in college so in the cover letter I chose to highlight my leadership/management experience. This management opportunity was, after all, the main reason I didn't find an internship (in addition to choosing the actuarial field late). Is this the correct thing to do or should I try to highlight something different? Thank you for your help!
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File Type: pdf Redacted Resume 3_08_17.pdf (130.3 KB, 102 views)
File Type: pdf Redacted Cover Letter 3-08-2017.pdf (189.6 KB, 119 views)
File Type: pdf Corrected Redacted Resume 3_10_17.pdf (163.6 KB, 94 views)

Last edited by Ala2015; 03-13-2017 at 10:01 AM..
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  #2  
Old 03-09-2017, 05:16 PM
jwitt25 jwitt25 is offline
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Originally Posted by Ala2015 View Post
Hey everyone! I'm currently looking for my first entry level job and was wondering how my resume stacked up. I didn't have any internships in college so in the cover letter I chose to highlight my leadership/management experience. This management opportunity was, after all, the main reason I didn't find an internship (in addition to choosing the actuarial field late). Is this the correct thing to do or should I try to highlight something different? Thank you for your help!
You have a good GPA and exam progress so finding an EL job won't be too difficult. The lack on an internship will hurt but good interviews can easily overcome that.

The resume could use better formatting and design work.
  • Maybe add some horizontal lines to better distinguish between sections.
  • There is no need to tell test scores. Unless you are applying only to CAS, use both the CAS and SOA exam names.
  • The education section takes up a lot of space. Condensing each school to 3 lines rather than 4 would help. No need to write total GPA or the "/4.0" as that is already assumed.
  • I would put work experience above computer skills and honors/scholarships.
  • Use some sort of bullet points for computer skills. There is no need listing for Word, Publisher, or PowerPoint individually.
  • Generally speaking, high school awards/grades/test scores do not matter at all. Try to keep a resume relevant and highlight things that happened within the last 5 years.
  • Some of your verbs (handled, maintained, enforced) come off as weak. There is no need to try and talk up a position.

For your cover letter, it is direct and to the point which I consider a good thing. I recommend moving the school projects to your resume. This is probably the most relevant thing you've done to EL work.
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Old 03-09-2017, 11:54 PM
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vjvj vjvj is offline
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I think some thinning out would work as well as lines between sections.

I'm not that fond of the all-caps for section headings. It's really not necessary and makes the resume look more dense.

I'd leave off the "AND VEE CREDITS". I agree about not bothering with the scores. I'd also abbreviate months to have them line up a little better and also makes it consistent with the rest of the resume. I'd use "Met requirements for VEE..." rather than the less clear "Eligible...".

Education won't look quite so dense if you abbreviate B.S. and M.S. and just make it "GPA: 4.0". I'd use "Minors in...", which reads just a little easier.

I'd put work next. Putting anything else above it seems to indicate you don't think there's anything important there and that could lead to the reader not really looking there.

I'd use filled circular bullets rather than hyphens.

I'd not put the job date ranges in parenthesis and I'd put them on the right margin. That's because readers like to see a timeline and putting all the education and work dates on the right margin makes that easier. And, again, it is more consistent with the education section.

I'd not use such a wide range of font sizes. The relatively large section headings make the job title and bullets look really small. If you make a section hard to read, you increase the likelihood that it will just get skipped. I'm guessing that if you use mixed case for the section headings, that probably allows you to move the margin of the rest of the text a little to the left, which give you more space, which allows you to keep from reducing the font.

I'm not sure that you really need the second TA bullet. Teaching a class is way bigger than tutoring. If you keep it, don't leave out articles (tutored in the...). Specifying "on-campus" seems kind of stupid for a univ job. Yeah, I'd lean toward leaving it off.

I thought the letter said you were manager 3 years. You don't even show 3 years total work here. Maybe I read wrong.

When you list your job as "manager", you should take care to put the focus on manager-y things. The very first bullet takes you completely out of the manager position and makes you lifeguard (or maybe not even that - qualified to be a lifeguard?), which defeats all the good your title gives. Get rid of it.

As a manager, also, even though you have to handle day-to-day stuff, I'd expect you to be more focused on the big picture. So the second bullet again weakens the concept of you as manager. "handled" is also a vague and weak word. Getting into "sanitation" makes you poolboy and janitor. Leave this stuff off.

3rd bullet, you present the scheduling just as a task. The task-iness is stressed by listing a frequency. There's never a benefit to mentioning frequency. It's way stronger to simply say "Managed a team of 20 lifeguards" and make that your first bullet. If you need to include scheduling, maybe put it in a list of "hired, scheduled, ..whatever", but, seriously, you're probably better off not specifying the details in the resume.

Doubled attendance is great and shouldn't be last. It's even better if you can tie it to revenue (or profit) rather than attendance. Again, the big picture is best.

You don't need a lot of bullets. If you have two good ones, they'll stand out better with just the two there than if you pad it with less impressive stuff.

The substitute teacher bullets are bad. Both discipline make you sound like a baby-sitter (and, yes, I know that subs often are. it just doesn't sell you well to admit it.). Instead, keep it simple - "Taught whatever subjects you taught". That's all you need and the section will be better for it.

Having the computer skills spread across the page like that just makes it harder to read. Make a list. If it is too long, thin it. Word, PP, and Publisher are unnecessary anyway. I'm not familiar with Arc. Will any reader care about it? Not lining the heading with the list looks like a screwup.

Honors and scholarships are, in general, pretty much filler. Your GPA says more than any honor or scholarship. Eagle Scout is neither an honor nor a scholarship (try achievement) and some of us think it is a lot more important than honors or scholarships, so I don't think this is a good place for it. And it shouldn't be at the end of a list.

When you're talking about president and VP, I wouldn't call them hobbies. There is no reason to add date ranges for activities (even pres and VP) and it has forced you be again be inconsistent in date range format.


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Old 03-10-2017, 12:59 AM
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vjvj vjvj is offline
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CL

Overall short and simple, which is good. There is awkward wording pretty much throughout it, though, and I'd look at rewording.

"Master's of Mathematics" is awkward. The "of" would typically be there only for "Master of Science". One way to change it might be to put the "student" up front - "master's student".

"with four passed exams" is also more awkward than making a statement "and I have passed four exams".

I think there should be a comma before the "while".

The "as well as certified others" is awkward, mainly because certified can be a verb or adjective and it isn't clear which it should be as you read it.

I also don't think it is good to be bringing "others" into it when you're talking about being a manager. Keep the focus on the managing. As soon as you start talking about "others", you've dropped yourself into the regular worker category.

"During my management" seems awkward.

I'd not talk about reporting to anyone.

I'm not fond of the resume-speak "integral" and "effective".
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Old 03-13-2017, 10:03 AM
Ala2015 Ala2015 is offline
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Thank you so much for the help! I've made changes and attached the new resume so any newcomers can see the differences! Thanks again!
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