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  #1  
Old 08-17-2016, 05:27 PM
lwx lwx is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 5
Default Yet another EL Resume Critique

Just an EL resume critique with no internship experience. I'm not quite sure if I'm doing this right so any input would be really appreciated. I'm mainly concerned about my bullet points and if they are alright or still need some work. Thanks in advance!
Edit: uploaded most recent version
Attached Images
File Type: pdf resume2.pdf (117.3 KB, 122 views)
File Type: pdf Resume3Version1.pdf (115.3 KB, 68 views)
File Type: pdf Resume3Version2.pdf (116.2 KB, 160 views)

Last edited by lwx; 08-24-2016 at 11:10 AM..
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  #2  
Old 08-21-2016, 10:31 AM
lwx lwx is offline
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  #3  
Old 08-22-2016, 12:54 PM
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vjvj vjvj is offline
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Font looks tiny and hard to read.

The overall format will stand out more if you indent all text under the section headings.

I'd left-align the passed/sitting and get rid of the hyphens.

I'd use the colon rather than hyphen with the gpa.

I'd leave space on either side of hyphens in a date range.

"Learned" is not bulletworthy, whether "individually" or not. I don't get how you learning SAS would help create the guide. Do you mean that you wrote part of the guide or that your learning was a test of the guide or something like that? If you wrote it, just say so.

2nd bullet isn't clear either. Were you teaching? If so, just say "Taught..." and you can't really take credit for other peoples' projects. Were you actually coding for those projects? Then take credit for what you did rathe than "help"ing. "Applied proficiency" is a weak start.

You don't need two tutor bullets. One "Taught..." is sufficient. Keep it simple. You don't need the struggling and concepts. And the second bullet doesn't sound at all like exceeding expectations. "who continued to struggle" just makes it sound like you did a crappy job of teaching in the first place and it is not something to hype.

You're trying to hype the sales position when there's really nothing to hype there. The only bullet I'd include was "Trained...". The rest is overhyped obvious. Avoid the words that make it all sound BS-y - actively, contributed, interpersonal, maintaining, friendly, atmosphere, newly, successfully, assured, completion, time. You've got misspellings here - inquiries, manner. "drove" is not a standard usage and I'd avoid it. It's not clear what you mean by that. If you mean that you increased sales, it's BS unless you can back that up with numbers. "Pushed" has very negative connotations (the dictionary includes "with undue force or in too extreme a form") and I'd avoid it.

The caddie bullets aren't worth saying.

Computer skills section format is confusing. You have bullets that look like they're under "familiar with VBA...", but the bullets don't refer to any of those. Saying you used something is never as strong as focusing on what you accomplished using them. So maybe the case study challenge is worth mentioning, but just "utilized SAS" is less so. You already said you used it earlier in the resume, anyway. I'd use "use" rather than "utilize". It means the same thing and is easier to read.

Just listing clubs doesn't really help you and, if you need space, it would be something to consider getting rid of. In any case, I'd not list dates for them.
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  #4  
Old 08-23-2016, 01:51 PM
lwx lwx is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vjvj View Post
Font looks tiny and hard to read.

The overall format will stand out more if you indent all text under the section headings.

I'd left-align the passed/sitting and get rid of the hyphens.

I'd use the colon rather than hyphen with the gpa.

I'd leave space on either side of hyphens in a date range.

"Learned" is not bulletworthy, whether "individually" or not. I don't get how you learning SAS would help create the guide. Do you mean that you wrote part of the guide or that your learning was a test of the guide or something like that? If you wrote it, just say so.

2nd bullet isn't clear either. Were you teaching? If so, just say "Taught..." and you can't really take credit for other peoples' projects. Were you actually coding for those projects? Then take credit for what you did rathe than "help"ing. "Applied proficiency" is a weak start.

You don't need two tutor bullets. One "Taught..." is sufficient. Keep it simple. You don't need the struggling and concepts. And the second bullet doesn't sound at all like exceeding expectations. "who continued to struggle" just makes it sound like you did a crappy job of teaching in the first place and it is not something to hype.

You're trying to hype the sales position when there's really nothing to hype there. The only bullet I'd include was "Trained...". The rest is overhyped obvious. Avoid the words that make it all sound BS-y - actively, contributed, interpersonal, maintaining, friendly, atmosphere, newly, successfully, assured, completion, time. You've got misspellings here - inquiries, manner. "drove" is not a standard usage and I'd avoid it. It's not clear what you mean by that. If you mean that you increased sales, it's BS unless you can back that up with numbers. "Pushed" has very negative connotations (the dictionary includes "with undue force or in too extreme a form") and I'd avoid it.

The caddie bullets aren't worth saying.

Computer skills section format is confusing. You have bullets that look like they're under "familiar with VBA...", but the bullets don't refer to any of those. Saying you used something is never as strong as focusing on what you accomplished using them. So maybe the case study challenge is worth mentioning, but just "utilized SAS" is less so. You already said you used it earlier in the resume, anyway. I'd use "use" rather than "utilize". It means the same thing and is easier to read.

Just listing clubs doesn't really help you and, if you need space, it would be something to consider getting rid of. In any case, I'd not list dates for them.
Thanks for the response. I changed those things around and generally tried to make it seem less cramped. I agree that the bullets I took off were mostly fluff (I thought my resume would look weak without an internship and few bullets) so I tried to adjust the okay ones and remove the fluff. I uploaded the adjusted version if you wouldn't mind taking another look.
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  #5  
Old 08-23-2016, 06:42 PM
jwitt25 jwitt25 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lwx View Post
Just an EL resume critique with no internship experience. I'm not quite sure if I'm doing this right so any input would be really appreciated. I'm mainly concerned about my bullet points and if they are alright or still need some work. Thanks in advance!
Edit: uploaded most recent version
Here are my opinions on your resume2 file. I'll try not to pile onto what's already been said.

The work experiences look alright. I would personally remove the periods from each bullet, but no big deal. Worked is a weak verb. Did you write the guide, test it, teach about it? There are many more words to interest a manager than worked. For the retail associate, I would avoid the specific percentage as people wouldn't have any reference to compare against. If you keep the bullet, simply put that you were either at or above target (if it is below target remove it).

On the computer skills, it's typically better to list what you're comfortable using rather than try to rate yourself. Everyone has different ideas of what would be considered experienced or familiar. If your definition differs versus that of an interviewer, your entire resume may be questioned to see what else was over-embellished.

The Projects section needs some work because the verbs are weak. However, these seem to be the most interesting and relevant experiences that you have compared against intern type work. I recommend creating a projects section and placing it above work experiences (get other opinions on this idea). Focus on the results of the projects and specifics of what you did. As stated earlier, these bullets need work due to weak verbs. Focus on direct messaging and results of the projects.

A second idea would be to combine the projects with work experiences to create a relevant experience and projects section.
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  #6  
Old 08-24-2016, 11:11 AM
lwx lwx is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2016
Posts: 5
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by jwitt25 View Post
Here are my opinions on your resume2 file. I'll try not to pile onto what's already been said.

The work experiences look alright. I would personally remove the periods from each bullet, but no big deal. Worked is a weak verb. Did you write the guide, test it, teach about it? There are many more words to interest a manager than worked. For the retail associate, I would avoid the specific percentage as people wouldn't have any reference to compare against. If you keep the bullet, simply put that you were either at or above target (if it is below target remove it).

On the computer skills, it's typically better to list what you're comfortable using rather than try to rate yourself. Everyone has different ideas of what would be considered experienced or familiar. If your definition differs versus that of an interviewer, your entire resume may be questioned to see what else was over-embellished.

The Projects section needs some work because the verbs are weak. However, these seem to be the most interesting and relevant experiences that you have compared against intern type work. I recommend creating a projects section and placing it above work experiences (get other opinions on this idea). Focus on the results of the projects and specifics of what you did. As stated earlier, these bullets need work due to weak verbs. Focus on direct messaging and results of the projects.

A second idea would be to combine the projects with work experiences to create a relevant experience and projects section.
Thanks for the reply! Those are good ideas of what I should do for my projects. I still need to work a bit on the wording of them and such but here's 2 more versions for formatting comparisons.
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