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  #141  
Old 08-09-2010, 04:28 PM
The Clawwww The Clawwww is offline
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Originally Posted by FattyMcGee View Post
When we were dating (during college) we "made out" every weekend (not during, because we didn't go to the same school so didn't see each other then), progressing from kissing to clothes off to once or twice playing "just the tip". We didn't think it was right to have full-blown sex outside marriage, so we tried to get as close to the line as possible without going over.

That was 12 years ago, and I thought ladies were supposed to get a higher sexual drive as they aged, not the opposite.
Sorry about this... but how is your physical appearance now compared to back then? I only ask because of your name... and avatar.

I'm green and have three eyes, so it's all good homey.
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  #142  
Old 08-09-2010, 04:29 PM
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Vomik Vomik is offline
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You successfully played "just the tip?" Ive always ended up losing
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  #143  
Old 08-09-2010, 04:30 PM
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Religious types that are willing to do "everything but penetration" are hilarious to me.
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  #144  
Old 08-09-2010, 04:31 PM
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Originally Posted by FattyMcGee View Post
When we were dating (during college) we "made out" every weekend (not during, because we didn't go to the same school so didn't see each other then), progressing from kissing to clothes off to once or twice playing "just the tip". We didn't think it was right to have full-blown sex outside marriage, so we tried to get as close to the line as possible without going over.

That was 12 years ago, and I thought ladies were supposed to get a higher sexual drive as they aged, not the opposite.
There is no rulebook for the female libido. Sorry.

One suggestion: Take her to see the play "The Vagina Monologues". Check college campuses or community theaters. It's both funny and serious and it might give you a start to some good conversations. (It might be easier for her to talk about some of the characters at first rather than herself.)
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  #145  
Old 08-09-2010, 04:31 PM
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SamTheEagle SamTheEagle is offline
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Well, again, that just depends.

If she has never had a high libido, then she's not going to rediscover someone she never was to begin with.
Fair enough. I'm still banking on physical issue, which is why I was thinking once a month would still be too low. But if it really is she just doesn't ever get horny, then yeah, maybe once a month would be a decent compromise. At any rate, I think any sort of frequency compromise is premature until the problem itself is figured out.
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  #146  
Old 08-09-2010, 04:33 PM
JUICE JUICE is offline
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If she's content to be take care of the kids and be celibate, which seems to be the case, then the impetus to jump start any change lay squarely on you. To hear how long you've been unhappy with the sex situation and how long you've done nothing to enact meaningful change leads me to point more blame at you.

In her mind, whatever change occurred has been accepted at this point. Not only will any change be harder to address for this reason, but her capability to understand this as a "big deal" to you is severely diminished.

Be a man, lay it out for her, and demand you two take steps to alleviate the situation.
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  #147  
Old 08-09-2010, 04:34 PM
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Ya, at this point she's gonna come to the conclusion that something else is bothering you and you're too afraid to admit it so you're blaming it on some other problem that you (seemingly) stopped caring about
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  #148  
Old 08-09-2010, 04:34 PM
Layla Layla is offline
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Originally Posted by mlschop View Post
Religious types that are willing to do "everything but penetration" are hilarious to me.
IFYP... for me at least.

Hate to break it to you but your religious practices are the reason you're in the predicament in the first place.

How the hell are you supposed to predict the success of your sex life when you don't have sex?

I mean C'MON!! Actuaries are supposed to be smart!
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  #149  
Old 08-09-2010, 04:35 PM
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Therapy. They have Christian ones.
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  #150  
Old 08-09-2010, 04:35 PM
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Originally Posted by SamTheEagle View Post
Fair enough. I'm still banking on physical issue, which is why I was thinking once a month would still be too low. But if it really is she just doesn't ever get horny, then yeah, maybe once a month would be a decent compromise. At any rate, I think any sort of frequency compromise is premature until the problem itself is figured out.


Would you categorize the marriage as loving outside of the sex?
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