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  #1  
Old 12-27-2018, 07:18 PM
brunomars28 brunomars28 is offline
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Default Entry-Level resume critique

Hi all,

Long-time lurker here. I am a fresh graduate looking for an entry-level position. However, I have been having a little difficulty finding an entry-level position and would like some feedback on how I can improve the formatting and content of my resume.
Thank you in advance for all your help! I really appreciate it!
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Old 12-27-2018, 08:27 PM
stefanos stefanos is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by brunomars28 View Post
Hi all,

Long-time lurker here. I am a fresh graduate looking for an entry-level position. However, I have been having a little difficulty finding an entry-level position and would like some feedback on how I can improve the formatting and content of my resume.
Thank you in advance for all your help! I really appreciate it!
P is not offered in August. Also, degrees in math or statistics are usually either a Bachelor of Science or a Bachelor of Arts. Which one is yours? And is it a dual major or a single major that is awkwardly named "Mathematics, Statistics"?

BTW, you only need the graduation date, not when you matriculated.
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Old 12-29-2018, 01:32 AM
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vjvj vjvj is offline
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Overall it looks a little dense, particularly given the content. Indenting all text under the section headings can help and generally makes the format stand out more.

I'd not use the colons after section headings. They aren't needed and make it slightly harder to read.

Exams are important enough that, if you can, I'd use one line per exam. And maybe list the next exam. If you do that, I'd suggest a more tabular-looking format - left-aligned "Exam P", left-aligned "Passed"/"Sitting" (and definitely passed rather than completed), and date for each exam.

There's no need for the "Program:". I agree that the degree ought to be written as they're commonly written - B.S., Mathematics or whatever. I'd use a separate line for the university. I'd put the date on the right margin as you have the other dates. And, yeah, I'd just put graduation date rather than attendance range.

I'd not use italics. It is harder to read.

For a teaching job, the only bullet you really need is "Taught ... subjects ...to..." Padding it doesn't make it more impressive. Mentioning "prompt" anything just makes it more lame. I'd not mention any frequency.

You don't need periods at the end of your bullets.

Was that internship in the US? The "transparency" part seems to be a red flag to me. Illustrations are covered by an NAIC illustration model reg, so you should have been adhering to these and there shouldn't have been any issue with transparency, unless you mean something other than I think you mean. It seems to be throwing your employer under the bus - implying they were doing something unethical. That's not good. Also, "process" is a little unclear there. Or maybe it is the use of the word "illustrating". Maybe I don't understand what you were doing (which is also bad)? If efficiency was the point of what you were doing, I'd try to make the increase in efficiency (numeric) the point of the bullet if you can.

The wording of the first intern bullet is awkward. "required for actuarial valuation" can have multiple meanings, making the bullet hard to read.

Using software is never the point. What business problem is address by the use of the software is the point. "develop ... relationships" doesn't seem to make sense. Understanding is all great and everything, but what happened as a result of that understanding? That's why you did the work, presumably. That should be the focus, not the software and not understanding. There's never a good reason to use "various".

The "as required by regulators..." is obvious unnecessary filler. Your readers will have heard of valuation and reserves. Don't insult them.

If you can leave a little space (doesn't have to be full lines) between jobs, it'll be better. Also between sections.

I'd right justify the dates.

Military service is a job imo and not an activity. The only downside of listing it with the jobs would be if it messes up your timeline, since you'll need dates on it then. I'm not sure you should put any bullets under the military service. "Logistics assistant" sounds better than what you read after that. You're clearly padding things. Get rid of the "quickly and efficiently" if you keep the bullet. "to predetermined locations" also sounds weird - kind of like as opposed to delivering to random locations? Anyway, when you deliver stuff, you clearly are delivering to a location so that doesn't need to be said, either.
The handing out of tools is not better, either. Seriously, I'd just stick with the title and let it go at that.

I'd list the skills in the order of importance to the jobs you're applying for. That'd likely be Excel, mySQL, R, Python, Tableau.

Relevant projects can be OK, but 1) they are effectively homework problems that don't rate anywhere near as important as "real" work in my mind 2) they are a major contributor to the density of the resume - they take up nearly a third of the resume and they distract from the rest of the resume 3) what you've got there is focused more on tools, which stresses the homework-ness of the projects 4) I'm guessing a lot of readers would not really read that part, anyway.

Be careful with singular vs plural. So, "trends", "tasks". They flag you as a non-native English speaker.

I'd keep it simple with the club. You don't need all those words for the first bullet, just that you managed the club's finances. You might want to add how big the budget was if it is impressive. "Worked with" bullets are lame and the whole thing is vague enough that I'd get rid of the 2nd bullet. The first is more impressive anyway. Don't weaken it by feeling you need to fill up space.
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Old 12-29-2018, 01:39 AM
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Bruno Mars got played so much that, despite how good he is, I really cringe on hearing him now. I've still got a ban on Bruno Mars music in my car for now. That and Corn Nuts. Ugh.

Oh, btw, if you appreciate my critique, please consider making a contribution to support children's cancer research. I'm trying to raise money through the St Baldricks charity. See my sig for details.
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SUPPORT CHILDREN'S CANCER RESEARCH

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Or if you're in the area, you can come out to the event and say hi, see me get shaved, have a beverage or two, and see an appearance by Stark Raving Dad. It's at the Kerry Piper in Willowbrook, IL on Sunday, March 17th, 2019 probably from about 11AM to 3PM. If you show up, you'll get a chance to hear me sing Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young's "Almost Cut My Hair".

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Old 12-29-2018, 01:41 AM
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My apologies if you are, in fact, Bruno Mars.
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SUPPORT CHILDREN'S CANCER RESEARCH

I'm raising money for children's cancer research by getting my head shaved again - my 11th year!!! - at a St Baldrick's event. Please help out by making a donation! Any amount helps!

TO DONATE, OR FOR MORE INFO, CLICK HERE

Or if you're in the area, you can come out to the event and say hi, see me get shaved, have a beverage or two, and see an appearance by Stark Raving Dad. It's at the Kerry Piper in Willowbrook, IL on Sunday, March 17th, 2019 probably from about 11AM to 3PM. If you show up, you'll get a chance to hear me sing Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young's "Almost Cut My Hair".

Please help this great cause and make a donation!
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Old 12-29-2018, 06:04 PM
eternlconf eternlconf is offline
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vjvj View Post
My apologies if you are, in fact, Bruno Mars.
He is not. I am.
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Old 12-30-2018, 01:13 PM
brunomars28 brunomars28 is offline
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Thank you so much for reviewing my resume and provide me with such detail explanations to alter it. I truly appreciate your time and effort in helping me with my resume.

I'm just a big fan of Bruno Mars.
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