Actuarial Outpost
 
Go Back   Actuarial Outpost > Cyberchat > Non-Actuarial Topics
FlashChat Actuarial Discussion Preliminary Exams CAS/SOA Exams Cyberchat Around the World Suggestions



Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #21  
Old 08-25-2004, 09:50 AM
Maxprime Maxprime is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Liar's Poker HQ
Posts: 4,468
Default

<fam guy>
A rabbi, the president, and a martian are in an airplane . . . I don't remember how it goes but they all end up dying. I'm no good at telling jokes.
</fam guy>
__________________
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty or Safety."

"Women are so lucky. They never have to worry about getting a guy pregnant." - Rawl316

Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 08-25-2004, 10:30 AM
Darth Tater's Avatar
Darth Tater Darth Tater is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sandreckoner's Box
Posts: 2,177
Default

You should never name your kids verbs...It could take you forever to leave the house with conversations like this "Stand up Neal, I said stand up Neal!!!!..."

You should never pour salad dressing on your head. Your tounge might beat your brains out trying to get to it.

Never moon a werewolf.
__________________
I'd rather be a good liver than have one.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 08-25-2004, 10:34 AM
Uncle Billy Uncle Billy is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 1,996
Default

Two gay guys, Bruce and Lance, meet on the street. Bruce says "Hi there, want to make love?" Lance says "Sure, your place or mine?" Bruce says "Yours, mine is sore"
Reply With Quote
  #24  
Old 08-25-2004, 11:44 AM
JMO's Avatar
JMO JMO is offline
Carol Marler
Non-Actuary
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Back home again in Indiana
Studying for Nothing actuarial.
Posts: 37,455
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jables
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off??

ABBOTT: Click on "START".........
Q - How do I turn my computer on?
A - Try blowing in its ear.
__________________
Carol Marler, "Just My Opinion"

Pluto is no longer a planet and I am no longer an actuary. Please take my opinions as non-actuarial.


My latest favorite quotes, updated Apr 5, 2018.

Spoiler:
I should keep these four permanently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rekrap View Post
JMO is right
Quote:
Originally Posted by campbell View Post
I agree with JMO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Westley View Post
And def agree w/ JMO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MG View Post
This. And everything else JMO wrote.
And this all purpose permanent quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr T Non-Fan View Post
Yup, it is always someone else's fault.
MORE:
All purpose response for careers forum:
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoctorNo View Post
Depends upon the employer and the situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sredni Vashtar View Post
I feel like ERM is 90% buzzwords, and that the underlying agenda is to make sure at least one of your Corporate Officers is not dumb.
Reply With Quote
  #25  
Old 08-25-2004, 03:12 PM
DeepPurple's Avatar
DeepPurple DeepPurple is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,160
Default

John Kerry walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
__________________
Come on. Let's go space truckin'. Come on!
Reply With Quote
  #26  
Old 08-25-2004, 03:15 PM
Darth Tater's Avatar
Darth Tater Darth Tater is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sandreckoner's Box
Posts: 2,177
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepPurple
John Kerry walks into a bar.
No, the bartender says, "Who let that horse in here? It's like the beginning of a bad joke..."
__________________
I'd rather be a good liver than have one.
Reply With Quote
  #27  
Old 08-25-2004, 03:15 PM
Kaput Shakur's Avatar
Kaput Shakur Kaput Shakur is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Posts: 1,084
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jables
John Kerry walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Hey, why the long face?"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deep Purple
John Kerry walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
Sorry, DP. Gotta give it to Jables. He has more....pizzazz.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titania
I'm betting that someone as independent-minded as Kaput IS the boss.
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 08-25-2004, 03:15 PM
cubedbee's Avatar
cubedbee cubedbee is offline
Member
SOA
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Discordia
Favorite beer: Oaked Arrogant *******
Posts: 15,815
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepPurple
John Kerry walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"
Good one. I don't think I've ever seen that one before.
__________________
Hooray for fiscal irresponsibility and forced morality.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 08-25-2004, 03:23 PM
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 4,464
Default

George Bush walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Your stupid."

Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 08-25-2004, 03:41 PM
Darth Tater's Avatar
Darth Tater Darth Tater is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sandreckoner's Box
Posts: 2,177
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dick Cheney
George Bush walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Your stupid."

"Your stupid"...what?

Or did you mean "You're stupid", Dick?
__________________
I'd rather be a good liver than have one.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:30 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
*PLEASE NOTE: Posts are not checked for accuracy, and do not
represent the views of the Actuarial Outpost or its sponsors.
Page generated in 0.47942 seconds with 10 queries