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  #1  
Old 12-28-2016, 01:31 PM
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pinguino pinguino is offline
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Default Moving on from layoffs

During church services, I was reminded to think of the less fortunate during the Christmas season. The holidays can be a difficult time for many people, for different reasons. For me, Iím still struggling with the aftermath of layoffs earlier this year (in the Spring), and I think of the many colleagues who were let go.

The office still has a couple of empty cubicles; reminders of colleagues that once were. One of them was a close teammate and friend of mine. I still keep in touch, but to this day he still hasnít found a new job. For other colleagues that were let go, I might not ever see them again.

Sometimes I feel alone in my sadness. I envy my managers and team members who seem to have moved on. (But did they genuinely move on? Or do they still think about it?) I tried talking to my former boss, who handled the termination of my teammate, but even he put up a front of acceptance. Iím not sure how he truly feels about what happened, and whether he can give useful advice to me. We used to get along quite well, but that ended with the layoffs.

Iíd like to use my time off during the Christmas holidays to think about this more, but admittedly this is difficult. Should I move on, or is it okay to feel empathy towards my friends and former colleagues? I'd also like to normalize my relationships with my former boss and other former teammates. (I'm on a different team now.) How can I start the new year with a fresh optimism towards the future?
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  #2  
Old 12-28-2016, 01:38 PM
clarinetist clarinetist is offline
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There are times when all you can really say is "it is what it is," and then you have to move on and do your job.

This is one of those times.
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  #3  
Old 12-28-2016, 01:43 PM
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Colonel Smoothie Colonel Smoothie is online now
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When a friend of mine gets laid off, I usually go around and ask my other friends to see if they have any openings. That's led to a few interviews, although I haven't successfully referred anyone (yet).
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Don't you even think about sending me your resume. I'll turn it into an origami boulder and return it to you.
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  #4  
Old 12-28-2016, 01:45 PM
Westley Westley is offline
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Originally Posted by pinguino View Post
For other colleagues that were let go, I might not ever see them again.
It's a small industry, so this is probably less likely than you think. But if you do, it's one of many times this happens. Just remember this Westley Wisdom (TM): Friends come and go, enemies accumulate. There's nothin wrong with having people that are no longer in your life, nor with having warm feelings toward them. If you're successful and happy, and they are too, then you just think fondly of them and then enjoy your current relationships.


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Originally Posted by pinguino View Post
One of them was a close teammate and friend of mine. I still keep in touch, but to this day he still hasn’t found a new job.
Do you know why? Can you help him fix whatever the problem is? I've tried to do this at times, and felt it was worth it. But can have a serious negative impact on the friendship itself, depending on the problem.
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  #5  
Old 12-28-2016, 01:52 PM
Hartke Hartke is offline
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Originally Posted by pinguino View Post
During church services, I was reminded to think of the less fortunate during the Christmas season. The holidays can be a difficult time for many people, for different reasons. For me, Iím still struggling with the aftermath of layoffs earlier this year (in the Spring), and I think of the many colleagues who were let go.

The office still has a couple of empty cubicles; reminders of colleagues that once were. One of them was a close teammate and friend of mine. I still keep in touch, but to this day he still hasnít found a new job. For other colleagues that were let go, I might not ever see them again.

Sometimes I feel alone in my sadness. I envy my managers and team members who seem to have moved on. (But did they genuinely move on? Or do they still think about it?) I tried talking to my former boss, who handled the termination of my teammate, but even he put up a front of acceptance. Iím not sure how he truly feels about what happened, and whether he can give useful advice to me. We used to get along quite well, but that ended with the layoffs.

Iíd like to use my time off during the Christmas holidays to think about this more, but admittedly this is difficult. Should I move on, or is it okay to feel empathy towards my friends and former colleagues? I'd also like to normalize my relationships with my former boss and other former teammates. (I'm on a different team now.) How can I start the new year with a fresh optimism towards the future?
forget the past. I got too close to my colleges at my first job out of college. It made switching jobs very hard. Now I purposely put up a thicker shell at work to avoid such deep personal relationships with coworkers. At the end of the day, work is business. Leave the office behind, go home to your friends and family and enjoy your real life.
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  #6  
Old 12-28-2016, 01:58 PM
Captain Oveur Captain Oveur is offline
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Business is ruthless, as is life.

People you know die, but you move on from that as well.
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  #7  
Old 12-28-2016, 02:03 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinguino View Post
I’d like to use my time off during the Christmas holidays to think about this more, but admittedly this is difficult. Should I move on, or is it okay to feel empathy towards my friends and former colleagues? I'd also like to normalize my relationships with my former boss and other former teammates. (I'm on a different team now.) How can I start the new year with a fresh optimism towards the future?
Layoffs are like any other risk. There will always be some kind of irreducible risk that you cannot control, but that doesn't mean that all of the risk isn't explainable and controllable. There are definitely things you can do to reduce the risk of being laid off and you should do them with the mindset that a layoff can still happen (for example, just because you can't eliminate the risk of being in a car accident, doesn't mean you shouldn't neglect things that are under your control like driving safely and wearing a seatbelt).

The more important and productive you are to your organization, the less likely you are to be laid off. Work with your boss on getting key projects that are important to senior management and make sure you help him/her follow through on them. Don't be afraid to challenge proposed projects that offer little value to the organization and make sure you offer alternatives of your own that you believe would be valuable to senior management. At the same time, always keep your resume ready and maintain a good relationship with your friends who are working at competitors.
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Don't you even think about sending me your resume. I'll turn it into an origami boulder and return it to you.
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  #8  
Old 12-28-2016, 03:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pinguino View Post
During church services, I was reminded to think of the less fortunate during the Christmas season. The holidays can be a difficult time for many people, for different reasons. For me, I’m still struggling with the aftermath of layoffs earlier this year (in the Spring), and I think of the many colleagues who were let go.
You are a very kind-hearted person.

Even though your friend hasn't gotten a new job yet, don't give up hope. In the long run, most people who are laid off eventually do well, and learn valuable life lessons from the experience. JMO, you know.
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  #9  
Old 12-28-2016, 05:36 PM
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Originally Posted by Hartke View Post
forget the past. I got too close to my colleges at my first job out of college. It made switching jobs very hard. Now I purposely put up a thicker shell at work to avoid such deep personal relationships with coworkers. At the end of the day, work is business. Leave the office behind, go home to your friends and family and enjoy your real life.
I understand that we should separate work from the rest of our lives, but the reality is that we spend roughly a third of our waking hours in the office. It's inevitable that relationships will be formed at the water cooler, or at the cafeteria.

I'm not sure whether this is "how it should be", but for many of us our closest friendships were formed at the workplace. Maybe this becomes less true over time... one of the managers in my current department said that her closest friendships were formed at her first job. I think she is on her third job now, so she speaks from experience.
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  #10  
Old 12-28-2016, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Captain Oveur View Post
Business is ruthless, as is life.

People you know die, but you move on from that as well.
Thanks, I surely have learned many valuable life lessons in 2016, not only from this situation but from others as well.

Luckily for me -- perhaps due to my youth, or the relative health of my family -- I have not yet experienced the loss of someone close to me, but it almost happened. So I really haven't had much personal trauma in my life. Does grieving and moving on get easier as you get older?
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