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  #1  
Old 02-05-2015, 09:02 AM
bvmadduluri bvmadduluri is offline
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Default Resume and Cover Letter help

Hello Friends,
I am a recent college graduate seeking and entry level/internship Actuarial position.

If you could please take some time and critique my resume and cover letter, I would highly appreciate it.

Thank you very very much.
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  #2  
Old 02-05-2015, 10:14 AM
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Font looks teeny.

If you indent all the text under the section headings a little, the overall structure will stand out more and you won't have to use all-caps in the headings.

If you keep the objective, make it simple. The objective isn't to seek, it's to get a job, presumably. Hyphenate entry-level. Or use actuarial analyst. "opportunity" sounds like you're hedging and don't want to commit to specifically an actuarial analyst job. If you're applying for actuarial analyst jobs, this hedging does not help you. The rest isn't needed or helpful.

You will never be indispensible.
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Old 02-05-2015, 10:23 AM
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(had to stop there for effect)

Don't use italics, as it is harder to read.

Don't use the apostrophe and partial year format. Write the whole year out. It takes one more character and is much easier to read.

I see no reason to list the college of science. I'd abbreviate B.S.

Exams go before education. Don't bother with the exam subject. "Exam P" is fine. Or "Exam 1/P". I'd not mention SOA - unless you're insane and wouldn't consider a "CAS job". Don't put anything in parenthesis. Don't put the passed and sitting on the right margin. Make them a separate closely-spaced column near the LHS. I'd suggest doing something similar with exam dates, too. Add a date for the sitting. You're wasting space with the VEE. Instead of using 3 lines, just say "Met requirements for VEE Economics and Applied Statistics" or something like that. No dates. No to-be-claimed.
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SUPPORT CHILDREN'S CANCER RESEARCH

I'm raising money for children's cancer research by getting my head shaved again - my 11th year!!! - at a St Baldrick's event. Please help out by making a donation! Any amount helps!

TO DONATE, OR FOR MORE INFO, CLICK HERE

Or if you're in the area, you can come out to the event and say hi, see me get shaved, have a beverage or two, and see an appearance by Stark Raving Dad. It's at the Kerry Piper in Willowbrook, IL on Sunday, March 17th, 2019 probably from about 11AM to 3PM. If you show up, you'll get a chance to hear me sing Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young's "Almost Cut My Hair".

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  #4  
Old 02-05-2015, 10:31 AM
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I'd not put skills above experience, no matter how irrelevant you think your experience is. It's still relevant.

Unless you have reason to think that you will be hired by a particular company because of your language skills, I'd consider getting rid of it to free up space. Then the section is Computer Skills. And you don't need the Applications subheading. The layout of the section is bad. Don't use 2 columns even if you keep the languages. Get rid of "Microsoft" and the Office suite, Word, PP, Publisher, and "etc.". Get rid of the whole Adobe line. You don't need a "Programming:" sub-sub-heading. Java's not all caps.
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SUPPORT CHILDREN'S CANCER RESEARCH

I'm raising money for children's cancer research by getting my head shaved again - my 11th year!!! - at a St Baldrick's event. Please help out by making a donation! Any amount helps!

TO DONATE, OR FOR MORE INFO, CLICK HERE

Or if you're in the area, you can come out to the event and say hi, see me get shaved, have a beverage or two, and see an appearance by Stark Raving Dad. It's at the Kerry Piper in Willowbrook, IL on Sunday, March 17th, 2019 probably from about 11AM to 3PM. If you show up, you'll get a chance to hear me sing Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young's "Almost Cut My Hair".

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  #5  
Old 02-05-2015, 03:24 PM
bvmadduluri bvmadduluri is offline
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Hey Guys,
I really really appreciated your constructive criticisms. Thank you so very much.
you all are way to awesome, thank you so much. I changed my resume completely
again thanks a lot
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  #6  
Old 02-05-2015, 07:31 PM
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In the first tutor bullet, I'd us lower case - list it as topics rather than course titles. So I'd just go "calculus" and leave off the I, II, III, and "business". And the "applied".

The 2nd bullet seems odd. Are you saying that in 3 years, only 34 students visited you in the tutoring center? And 12 passed? I'd get rid of the bullet.

A life contingency course isn't experience and nothing you list there is worth mentioning. The bullets are pretty obvious parts of a LC course. And with the concentration in act math, it is not at all a surprise that you took a LC course. And it is not worth listing to mention Excel. I'd remove it.

Presentations is also not experience. It belongs elsewhere. It is not at all clear what it actually is. It's not clear exactly what "chosen" means. The "highly select" sounds like BS hype. The plural on "speeches" and the wide list of topics in the 2nd bullet makes it even more confusing, but I think maybe that's because I was misled by "Actuarial Presentation" to think it was one presentation. "Chosen" is inconsistent with the start of all the other bullets.

I'm not fond of having another section to cover another course, either. There's an awful lot there just to cover coursework. The bullets seem inconsistent - you mention running optimizations in the second bullet, so by the time you get to the 4th bullet (if you get to the 4th bullet), "solution" seemed to me to be the optimum from the 2nd bullet. But you reduced costs by 25% from the optimum? Doesn't sound very optimum to me, so it all just seems confusing. "Provide recommendations" seems to imply this might have been a real company and a real problem (although it could just be the course project writeup...), but that's not at all clear and you don't give a hint of this until the section is almost done. If it a real problem whose solution was used by the company, the focus should simply be what you did for the company and it would make the whole thing way more impressive. Instead it just sounds like a homework project. All the font is small, but the +/- is very hard to read. I assume that the demand was varied by 10%, not the data. The % seems unnecessary anyway. I'm not sure that "managed" comes off well. It may well be the case, or it could be you just trying to hype it and take credit for the project.

The extracurricular probably isn't worth scrunching stuff in. It's OK if you have more space and don't need to scrunch stuff in. "member", whether "active" or not, doesn't impress. And, in fact, the fact that you felt that you had to use "active" to me indicates that you yourself thought the bullet was lame. If you need space, keep the captain over the clubs. "Intramural Team Captain" is clearer imo.
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SUPPORT CHILDREN'S CANCER RESEARCH

I'm raising money for children's cancer research by getting my head shaved again - my 11th year!!! - at a St Baldrick's event. Please help out by making a donation! Any amount helps!

TO DONATE, OR FOR MORE INFO, CLICK HERE

Or if you're in the area, you can come out to the event and say hi, see me get shaved, have a beverage or two, and see an appearance by Stark Raving Dad. It's at the Kerry Piper in Willowbrook, IL on Sunday, March 17th, 2019 probably from about 11AM to 3PM. If you show up, you'll get a chance to hear me sing Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young's "Almost Cut My Hair".

Please help this great cause and make a donation!
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  #7  
Old 02-05-2015, 07:53 PM
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CL

First impression is that it is very dense.

I'd use 1st paragraph to say why you're writing and, if you're not applying for a publicly-posted job, how you came to know of this person. It doesn't have to be long - one sentence works.

I'd keep it very simple. It takes you one long paragraph to say you have a B.S. in math with concentration in Act Math and you've passed one test. You devote one and a half sentences to continuing on with exams, which seems obvious. You've already mentioned the concentration, so you don't need to mention that you've taken courses in that concentration. I'd not end the paragraph with soft hype and I wouldn't use the buzzwordy "adding value to the table". It should be "a rich work ethic", but don't use it. I'd avoid "thereby", too.

2nd paragraph gets partly into soft stuff. I'd save that for stories in an interview, where you can back up what you say in a way that cannot be done in a letter or resume. The presentations might be OK, but it isn't clear what you're talking about. Is the professional development that you are learning how to give presentations, or is the professional development that you are teaching other would-be actuaries? If you can sell this well, I'd get rid of everything else in the paragraph. Sentences read better if they're direct statements and don't start with stuff like "apart from" and "ever since". Avoid "furthermore".

I'd get rid of the assurance and diligence. I'd put the email and phone in a header and not force the reader to pick them out from amongst the text. If you're called, it is an interview and not just "any further questions", so I wouldn't refer to it that way.

Don't use parenthesis again. If the university is best known by the abbreviation, just use that. Otherwise it is unnecessary.

There shouldn't be a comma after "time".
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SUPPORT CHILDREN'S CANCER RESEARCH

I'm raising money for children's cancer research by getting my head shaved again - my 11th year!!! - at a St Baldrick's event. Please help out by making a donation! Any amount helps!

TO DONATE, OR FOR MORE INFO, CLICK HERE

Or if you're in the area, you can come out to the event and say hi, see me get shaved, have a beverage or two, and see an appearance by Stark Raving Dad. It's at the Kerry Piper in Willowbrook, IL on Sunday, March 17th, 2019 probably from about 11AM to 3PM. If you show up, you'll get a chance to hear me sing Crosby, Stills, Nash, and Young's "Almost Cut My Hair".

Please help this great cause and make a donation!
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  #8  
Old 02-05-2015, 08:19 PM
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if you haven't yet, please read my resume advice. a lot of it applies to you.
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  #9  
Old 02-05-2015, 08:21 PM
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for example, hyphens vs. dashes in the dates. /4.0 for the GPA. objective. formatting of exam section. etc.

write the full year. the apostrophes are distracting.
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