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  #91  
Old 02-25-2013, 07:20 PM
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Ezzard Charles Ezzard Charles is offline
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Originally Posted by SirVLCIV View Post
How long are Potential-Popes on waivers before free agency starts?
If you were planning to pick up Keith O'Brien...you better get in line!
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  #92  
Old 03-04-2013, 06:30 PM
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When do we start seeing some smoke?
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  #93  
Old 03-05-2013, 09:32 AM
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When do we start seeing some smoke?
I believe the season starts next week, with a champion by St. Patty's day!
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  #94  
Old 03-05-2013, 11:03 AM
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Sorry I forgot I am on the clock, pick coming real soon.
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  #95  
Old 03-05-2013, 11:12 AM
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Sorry I forgot I am on the clock, pick coming real soon.
cardinal richelieu is still available.
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  #96  
Old 03-05-2013, 11:30 AM
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Conclave update:

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VATICAN CITY, March 4 (Reuters) - Roman Catholic cardinals filed into the Vatican on Monday for preliminary meetings to sketch an identikit for the next pope and ponder who among them might be best to lead a church beset by crises.

They arrived by private car, taxi and minibus at the gates of the Vatican for gatherings known as general congregations, closed-door meetings in which they will get to know each other and decide when to start a conclave to choose a man to lead the 1.2 billion member Church.

The Vatican appears to be aiming to have a new pope elected next week and officially installed several days later so he can preside over the Holy Week ceremonies starting with Palm Sunday on March 24 and culminating in Easter the following Sunday.

Pope Benedict left the Church in a state of shock when he announced last month that he would be the first pontiff in 600 years to resign instead of ruling for life. He formally stepped down on Thursday, leaving the papacy vacant.

The cardinals, numbering about 150, are expected to hold one or two meetings a day. The Vatican seems keen to have only a week of preliminary talks so the 115 "cardinal electors" aged under 80 can enter the Sistine Chapel for the conclave next week. The exact date for its start has not been decided.

"We have meetings all this week to get to know each other better and consider the situations that we face," said Cardinal Andre Vingt-Trois of Paris as he entered. He said he could not say at this stage "who will be the best one to respond to them".

The preliminary meetings also give cardinals the chance to size up potential candidates by watching them closely in the debates and checking discreetly with other cardinals about their qualifications or any skeletons in their closets.

Cardinals never reveal publicly who they prefer but drop hints in interviews by discussing the identikit for their ideal candidate. The most frequently mentioned quality here is an ability to communicate the Catholic faith convincingly.

Most cardinals say the new pope could come from outside Europe, but it is not clear if the conclave, which has a slight majority of European cardinals, will break the long-standing tradition of choosing men only from the continent.

No front-runner stands out but leading candidates include Peter Turkson of Ghana, Leonardo Sandri of Argentina, Austrian Christoph Schoenborn, Brazil's Odilo Scherer, Canadian Marc Ouellet and Angelo Scola, from Italy.

In an interview with Reuters, Cardinal Sandri, 69, said the next pope should not be chosen according to a geographic area but must be a "saintly man" who was "best qualified".
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  #97  
Old 03-06-2013, 01:46 PM
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http://www.thesmokingjacket.com/humo...p-5-candidates



SO A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, as some asteroid was passing by earth as a warning that Armageddon was based in truth, and a meteor was attacking Russia, the Pope gave his two weeks notice. Pope Benedict XVI, born Joseph Aloisius Ratzinger, had tired of the funny hats, opulent dresses, and pedophilia, and tendered his resignation, the first Pope to hang ‘em up before his boss hung them up for him. The news sent shockwaves through the Catholic community. Cross bearers the world over immediately wondered where they could find another Nazi pedophile-enabling white racist sexist octogenarian to lead the church. (Uh, I dunno, go to a retirement home in Boston?)

Immediately bookmakers were picking their favorites. William Hill made Turkson — a high-ranking African cardinal — is a 3/1 favorite. Canada’s Marc Ouellet is at 7/2 and Francis Arinze of Nigeria is at 4/1. Bono comes in at a distand 1000/1, but touring commitments likely take the U2 frontman out of the running. Immediately the race to succeed Benny 16 began in earnest, with the candidates spewing typical campaign rhetoric, promising to kill all homosexuals and ban birth control. Basically a mayoral race in Mississippi, but on a larger scale.

Here at Headshots, the interns and I, over cocktails and Old Testament readings, began to devise our own list from some notable Catholics. Lapsed Catholics, all of us, we believe we’ve found the candidates that could bring the church back, with a little less little cock and a little more JC rock

1. Mel Gibson

Gibson, the star of such films as Lethal Weapon 3, Chicken Run, and The Beaver, is a traditionalist Catholic, a sect of Catholicism that believes current Catholicism is waaaaay too progressive, what with allowing women to speak and not stoning gays. Mad Max directed The Passion of the Christ, which depicted the suffering of Jesus from a largely New Testament point of view; it was a box office success, and still one of Headshots favorite romcoms.

Gibson is a well-documented homophobic, racist, women-hating, anti-Semite, domestic abuser who would take the church where it belongs: To the bowels of hell never to be heard from again. Plus, he needs the work.

2. Jim Caviezel

Caviezel played Jesus in Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ, so he has experience in religious governance and wearing dresses. How many bishops, cardinals, and priests can say that they’ve actually spent time as Jesus? None. And he speaks Aramaic, which comes in handy at all the top Catholic mixers. The star of CBS’s Person of Interest has been outspoken on Catholic issues, and has come out against embryonic stem-cell research, presumably because it can save lives and advance the human race.

3. Katie Holmes

We know, we know. The notion of a female Pope (Popess? Pipe? Peep?) seems a little too advanced, too contemporary for the Vatican. But consider that Holmes, having been married to Tom Cruise for six years, knows how to keep homosexuality a secret while in the public spotlight.

Additionally, she actually looks hot totally doable in a dress, and when’s the last time you could say that about a Pope? St. Gelasius I? Sisinnius? Boniface VI? And maybe having a sweet piece of ass leading the church could help swing it away from its pedophiliac tendencies that have marred its existence for 2000 years and ruinded the lives, and faith, of so many innocent children.

4. Peter Dinklage

Peter Dinklage was born with achondroplasia, a common cause of dwarfism, and as such measures only 4’5” in height. We don’t really have any great reason’s why the world’s most famous little Catholic should be Pope, other than it would be fun to have a dwarf Pope. “Ah, lookit the wee lil Pope in his week little pope dress and wee little hat in his week little Pope bubble. Let’s play throw the Pope!” Tell us that doesn’t sound like fun! And when’s the last time the Vatican was fun?

5. Mark Wahlberg

Marky Mark and the Funky Church! Donnie’s little brother would make a great Pope. He’s managed to get past the thuggery of his youthful indiscretions and the embarrassing nature of his early career as an underwear model and white rapper and transition into a successful and respected actor and producer. Tell us the church doesn’t need to make the exact same type of transition. Plus, Wahlberg tried to murder a guy once, and the church loves it some murderers.

And, apropos of nothing, this.



Oh, and most recently marky Mark appeared in front of the entire world talking to a teddy bear who could speak. That kind of commitment to the imaginary is essential if you’re to convince followers of the existence of God.

So, there’s our list. We’d put our money on Gibson, but don’t count out our choice, Katie Holmes. Don’t you want to live in a world where, “I’d tap that Pope ass” is part of the Catholic lexicon?


additional pics at the link
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  #98  
Old 03-08-2013, 01:47 PM
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Conclave will begin Tuesday
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  #99  
Old 03-08-2013, 01:50 PM
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Ezzard Charles Ezzard Charles is offline
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Conclave will begin Tuesday
:popecorn:
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  #100  
Old 03-08-2013, 07:04 PM
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:popecorn:
Speaking of which, I wish I would have drafted this little guy: http://media.threadless.com/subs/big/450909.jpg.
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