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  #21  
Old 06-06-2018, 11:29 AM
Helen Sass Helen Sass is offline
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I've heard derisive remarks her on the AO about elevator shoes for the vertically challenged, but how about stilts?
That would be silly.

Just be sure to always stand when everyone else is sitting. If possible, also have a podium or small platform in the room so your head is always higher than everyone's.

Simply put, they will look up to you if they have to look up to you.
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  #22  
Old 06-06-2018, 12:05 PM
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I've decided to bestow some of the wisdom I've gained over the years upon you youngins in a series up upcoming threads. Kind of like a pod cast, but different. You're welcome.

The first lesson is how to be intimidating. You want people to know you mean business and are there to kick ass and not be kicked in the ass. Now this doesn't mean you need to act like a bully or a jerk; but you don't want to be a pushover either. So here are some tips on manning up so you don't get taken advantage of:

1. Body language is very important so stand up straight at all times when standing.

2. When sitting, use power positions. One is to lean back with your hands behind your head. Google other power positions and use them regularly.

3. When passing other people in the hall, stare at them until they make eye contact then give them a curt nod even if you have no idea who they are. Especially if you have no clue who they are in fact. You may be tempted to smile. Don't. A curt nod of recognition is all that's needed; If they never make eye contact with you, you just won so smile in victory after they pass.

4. Last point of body language. Take up as much space as possible in all settings. Even just chatting in the hall. Hand on hips, legs spread. If someone walks by, make them walk around you.

5. Speaking of eye contact, do it always and with everyone. If you can manage to make eye contact with everyone always in a room with more than one other person, do it. Otherwise always with the speaker. When you are speaking, make eye contact with the most powerful person in the room as though you are speaking only to him. Ignore the others. There's a lot I could say about how to conduct oneself in meetings but I'll save that for a later thread. This one is only on intimidation.

6. Show up to meetings on time and act disgusted at those who are late. No matter who they are. The level of disgust can vary depending on who they are, but the basic reaction needs to be there. You are sickened by people who are late or any other behavior that indicates they don't take their commitments seriously.

7. Keep the chit chat to a minimum. If you are chatty, you will be approachable. If you are approachable you are, by definition, not intimidating to anyone. Silence is key. No one cares about the weather or your personal life anyway.

8. So if you google this topic you'll get a bunch of generic advice around how NOT to be intimidating. Do not follow this advice. Further, you'll also get examples of intimidating behavior like 'say what you mean and mean what you say'. This is meaningless nonsense and not intimidating anyway. In fact, most people I know will say that they say what they mean and mean what they say as though it's such a great attribute. It's not and most people don't do it anyway. And it's not intimidating. You want to say intimidating things whether you mean them or not.

Let me give you an example. Someone makes an error on a pension valuation that cost the firm a client or at a minimum causes some embarrassment and additional work. This is your cue to begin talking about "work quality improvement measures" at every opportunity. Don't specifically mention the error, just talk about how you have implemented some quality improvements and have an error rate of less than 0. That's right, you have negative errors in your work. Everyone makes errors whether they are caught or not. And everyone knows that they make errors. If you're work has negative errors everyone will be intimidated by your work quality.

OK, that's it for now. I may follow up with a few more tid bits on this topic but I have to go make my hourly walk through the office and make sure everyone who has facebook or personal email up notices that I notice.

Let me know if there's a topic you would like me to cover. Some future topic ideas I have are: how to conduct yourself in internal meetings; how to recover from making errors and other embarrassing stuff; business lunch and dinner etiquette; working with boomers, Xers, and Millenialz; Optimizing AO time; Managing morons and also people who are smart; Running a client meeting; Dealing with sexual tension' Dealing with a bad boss; how to ask for - and get - a raise; When to, and not to, change jobs.
I take it that you are a fan of Amy Cuddy's work.
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  #23  
Old 06-06-2018, 12:12 PM
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Originally Posted by Westley View Post
Not really, but if growing taller is an option for you, that's a power move.
If I wanted to be intimidating, I would certainly try that.
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JMO is right
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I agree with JMO.
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Originally Posted by Westley View Post
And def agree w/ JMO.
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This. And everything else JMO wrote.
And this all purpose permanent quote:
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Originally Posted by Dr T Non-Fan View Post
Yup, it is always someone else's fault.
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Depends upon the employer and the situation.
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Originally Posted by Sredni Vashtar View Post
I feel like ERM is 90% buzzwords, and that the underlying agenda is to make sure at least one of your Corporate Officers is not dumb.
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  #24  
Old 06-06-2018, 12:13 PM
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The Drunken Actuary The Drunken Actuary is offline
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What would you say is the main benefit from behaving this way?
There are many benefits. To list a main one is a disservice to the others. So in no particular order:

Being an ass kicker
Getting what you want
More money
Respect
Power
More money
Promotions
Not having people bother you with stupid shit
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I think the dollar will crash irreparably by 2012.... bottom drops out of the dollar. ....Dollars are worthless, 401ks are bust, the markets are valueless...government assumes control over all industry and everything is nationalized by the end of 2012. - gomer_tree
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  #25  
Old 06-06-2018, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Childish Gambino View Post
just realized this is in careers
Where else would it be? This is career advice, though some of the lessons can work in non-work settings.
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I think the dollar will crash irreparably by 2012.... bottom drops out of the dollar. ....Dollars are worthless, 401ks are bust, the markets are valueless...government assumes control over all industry and everything is nationalized by the end of 2012. - gomer_tree
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  #26  
Old 06-06-2018, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Helen Sass View Post
That would be silly.

Just be sure to always stand when everyone else is sitting. If possible, also have a podium or small platform in the room so your head is always higher than everyone's.

Simply put, they will look up to you if they have to look up to you.
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Originally Posted by Pseudolus View Post
Trump's biggest weakness is that he utterly lacks the knowledge, experience, interest, attention span, temperament, and common decency to be the marginally effective President of a reasonably-large HOA.
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  #27  
Old 06-06-2018, 12:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Strider View Post
I take it that you are a fan of Amy Cuddy's work.
Never heard of her.
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I think the dollar will crash irreparably by 2012.... bottom drops out of the dollar. ....Dollars are worthless, 401ks are bust, the markets are valueless...government assumes control over all industry and everything is nationalized by the end of 2012. - gomer_tree
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  #28  
Old 06-06-2018, 12:15 PM
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Originally Posted by Childish Gambino View Post
just realized this is in careers
I tried to word my serious question in a professional way, but TDA still thinks I was trying to be funny. The first part of my reply was supposed to be funny, though.
__________________
Carol Marler, "Just My Opinion"

Pluto is no longer a planet and I am no longer an actuary. Please take my opinions as non-actuarial.


My latest favorite quotes, updated Apr 5, 2018.

Spoiler:
I should keep these four permanently.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rekrap View Post
JMO is right
Quote:
Originally Posted by campbell View Post
I agree with JMO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Westley View Post
And def agree w/ JMO.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MG View Post
This. And everything else JMO wrote.
And this all purpose permanent quote:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr T Non-Fan View Post
Yup, it is always someone else's fault.
MORE:
All purpose response for careers forum:
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoctorNo View Post
Depends upon the employer and the situation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sredni Vashtar View Post
I feel like ERM is 90% buzzwords, and that the underlying agenda is to make sure at least one of your Corporate Officers is not dumb.
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  #29  
Old 06-06-2018, 12:35 PM
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fdsafdsa fdsafdsa is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Drunken Actuary View Post
There are many benefits. To list a main one is a disservice to the others. So in no particular order:

Being an ass kicker
Getting what you want
More money
Respect
Power
More money
Promotions
Not having people bother you with stupid shit
There's a point in a career in some organizations where intimidation may help get you some of these things.

Most ELs reading this sub-forum would not benefit from trying to be intimidating. It comes across as "not being a team player" which will severely impede career progress for any noob.
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I don't believe there is any real purpose in existence, but I need a temporary sense of purpose in what I'm doing to feel satisfied.
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  #30  
Old 06-06-2018, 12:56 PM
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