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  #51  
Old 06-07-2018, 08:37 AM
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I was about to do the stare thing walking down the hall, but instead I looked the other way like scared puppy.
You lost that deal!
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  #52  
Old 06-07-2018, 08:39 AM
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You lost that deal!
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Originally Posted by The Drunken Actuary View Post
I might have to do some individualized lessons for you..
Oh, but you may have won after all!
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  #53  
Old 06-07-2018, 08:48 AM
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Oh, but you may have won after all!
lol
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I think the dollar will crash irreparably by 2012.... bottom drops out of the dollar. ....Dollars are worthless, 401ks are bust, the markets are valueless...government assumes control over all industry and everything is nationalized by the end of 2012. - gomer_tree
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  #54  
Old 06-07-2018, 08:53 AM
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OK, totally forgot to mention something: Speak with confidence. If you have naturally whiney or nasaly voice, make a conscious effort to reduce those qualities. But more important, tone of voice: confidence in everything you say. If you aren't sure, just say you don't know with confidence so it comes across like, how the frick would I know that you dumbass? Never apologize for not knowing, or really anything else for that matter. But especially not something like, "I'm sorry I don't have that figure with me". Two choices: (1) make something up you know it reasonable and no one is going to check anyway (again, say it with confidence, don't give a range, don't say "i think it's about 10%". Say, with your strongest voice, "it's 9%". Then stop talking.) (2) other option - "I don't know" then silence. Say it with confidence. That's right, you are confident that you don't know. And why would you know? Even if it's something you should know you don't care right now. You don't even know your own birthday and it will be fine if you are confident about it. Hopefully your're not that much of a dumbass because eventually you will be fired if you are that clueless though.

This brings me to another piece of golden advice if you want to be a baller. Silence is golden. Do not be tempted to fill the silence, especially in any kind of negotiation. People have a natural tendency to do this so let the other person do it. The more they talk and the less you do the more power you have. Trust me on this, it works.

I'm going to update the OP I think.

Anywhoo, don't let the sometimes humorous tone of my original post lessen the lesson. Body language, eye contact, showing up on time, minimizing chit chat, etc are all good advices. Don't let the haterz in this thread make you think otherwise.
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I think the dollar will crash irreparably by 2012.... bottom drops out of the dollar. ....Dollars are worthless, 401ks are bust, the markets are valueless...government assumes control over all industry and everything is nationalized by the end of 2012. - gomer_tree

Last edited by The Drunken Actuary; 06-07-2018 at 09:06 AM..
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  #55  
Old 06-07-2018, 08:57 AM
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Anywhoo, don't let the sometimes humorous tone of my original post lessen the lesson.
Wouldn't want anyone to miss out on getting fired following their glaring at the division head after he was a couple minutes late for their meeting
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  #56  
Old 06-07-2018, 09:10 AM
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Wouldn't want anyone to miss out on getting fired following their glaring at the division head after he was a couple minutes late for their meeting
Some of the more extreme things like that were supposed to be tongue in cheek, used to reinforce the importance of the overall advice, not to be taken literally. Anyone too stupid to realize that and actually blocks the CEOs path to the parking garage because a drunk on the internet told them to deserves to be fired.

Also, it actually is an intimidation move which was the point of this thread.
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  #57  
Old 06-07-2018, 09:18 AM
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Originally Posted by The Drunken Actuary View Post
Some of the more extreme things like that were supposed to be tongue in cheek, used to reinforce the importance of the overall advice, not to be taken literally. Anyone too stupid to realize that and actually blocks the CEOs path to the parking garage because a drunk on the internet told them to deserves to be fired.

Also, it actually is an intimidation move which was the point of this thread.
This is a silly thread, while being assertive is good your brand of recommended intimidation would cause any eager reader far more harm than good
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  #58  
Old 06-07-2018, 09:22 AM
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This is a silly thread, while being assertive is good your brand of recommended intimidation would cause any eager reader far more harm than good
It's not silly, it solid advice. If you're not smart enough to cull out the good stuff from the obvious humor than it's not meant for you anyway.

If you really think I could push someone over the edge then thanks for your public service of pointing out potential negative consequences from acting openly disgusted at the CFO's tardiness to a meeting. Hopefully anyone on the precipice of following a drunk's direction regarding such things will now be saved.

I will add an additional warning to the OP.
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I think the dollar will crash irreparably by 2012.... bottom drops out of the dollar. ....Dollars are worthless, 401ks are bust, the markets are valueless...government assumes control over all industry and everything is nationalized by the end of 2012. - gomer_tree
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  #59  
Old 06-07-2018, 09:25 AM
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Originally Posted by The Drunken Actuary View Post
It's not silly, it solid advice. If you're not smart enough to cull out the good stuff from the obvious humor than it's not meant for you anyway.

If you really think I could push someone over the edge then thanks for your public service of pointing out potential negative consequences from acting openly disgusted at the CFO's tardiness to a meeting. Hopefully anyone on the precipice of following a drunk's direction regarding such things will now be saved.

I will add an additional warning to the OP.
tldr; It's great advice! But obviously you only listen to the good parts.... but if you listened to anything you shouldn't have wtf were you doing I'm a drunk guy on the internet.

Thanks for your service
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  #60  
Old 06-07-2018, 09:30 AM
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tldr; It's great advice! But obviously you only listen to the good parts.... but if you listened to anything you shouldn't have wtf were you doing I'm a drunk guy on the internet.

Thanks for your service
Relax, i added additional clarification for people like you who can't tell which part was hyperbole for funz. You can go clear up confusion in other threads now, your work here is done. Hopefully you saved the day before anyone had additional eyeballs surgically implanted so they could make simultaneous eye contact with multiple people.
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I think the dollar will crash irreparably by 2012.... bottom drops out of the dollar. ....Dollars are worthless, 401ks are bust, the markets are valueless...government assumes control over all industry and everything is nationalized by the end of 2012. - gomer_tree
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