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  #1  
Old 10-18-2018, 02:29 PM
wodn9257 wodn9257 is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2018
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Default Urgent Request for Resume Critique !!

Hello all.
So.. here's my resume that looks like needs lots of improvements.
I seriously need you guys' help.
I am currently a senior and have Communication major with low GPA.
Compared to other math or actuarial related majors, I really need good form of my resume to break in.

For all intellectuals out in here, please help me to get through !
Thank you all in advance.
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File Type: doc Resume_nonames.doc (47.0 KB, 74 views)

Last edited by wodn9257; 10-18-2018 at 02:40 PM.. Reason: Internship
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  #2  
Old 10-18-2018, 03:52 PM
jwitt25 jwitt25 is offline
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1) If you know the resume "needs lots of improvements," why wouldn't you attempt to make improvements before asking for help? You're asking people on here to write your resume.

2) While I haven't read the resume (see the point above), the formatting is awful. The boxes are a major distraction and add nothing to the document.

3) If you are a senior on track to graduate, why are you looking for internships?

4) PDFs are better to remain anonymous. MS products have the ability to show the author's name in the properties section.

5) In general, continue to study for and pass exams. Having a lower GPA with a non-STEM major will be a hindrance, but it is possible to find actuarial employment. Try applying for positions at smaller companies or in less popular locations.
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  #3  
Old 10-18-2018, 04:08 PM
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DoctorNo DoctorNo is offline
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What's the particular urgency here? (Stated differently, everyone is looking for help - what moves you to the front of the line?)
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  #4  
Old 10-18-2018, 04:33 PM
hjacjswo hjacjswo is offline
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come on man. the format is disastrous. I want you to read ten resumes posted on here and then revise yours.
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  #5  
Old 10-18-2018, 04:41 PM
Tunedef Tunedef is offline
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Just deleted my entire critique after reading jwitt25's first point.

If you're already aware that your resume sucks, then you should put the effort into fixing it before asking for help.
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  #6  
Old 10-18-2018, 05:09 PM
nonactuarialactuary nonactuarialactuary is offline
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Major points: I agree with the other poster: if you’re going to be graduating, you should look for full time employment, not internships. Removing table borders will go a long way here too. In Word, select the whole table, then go to Table Tools>Design>Borders>No Borders. It’s a two second fix, but it makes the whole thing a lot more readable.

As for other minor points, you’ve got a stray apostrophe under the word Education, and an extra space in the last parenthetical in the last bullet point. Because you have the last section header split across two cells, the kerning is weird (Additional______Activities,_Skills_and_Languages) , so maybe merge those cells in the table.

In the interview, be ready to explain how the various bullet points at your two jobs are relevant to actuarial employers.
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  #7  
Old 10-18-2018, 05:34 PM
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vjvj vjvj is offline
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Format looks ugly. If you did it without the borders, it would be a huge improvement, although you can still do better. It looks like the font is not consistent. I'd not use all the all-caps and I'd take it easy on bolding - ideally to focus attention where you want the reader to focus. Look at the sticky thread started by seattleguy for format examples.

Keep the goal simple. Adding the "that supports..." is a dumb constraint. You're talking about a temporary position, and focusing on support seems short-sighted imo. Plus, you've passed two exams. Are you really expecting to become an FSA during the internship? It makes no sense. Also, you're not seeking a "role" imo. Also, I'd try to avoid big and unusual words, especially when they seem awkward - attainment is one.

Your all-number date format is much harder to read than other formats. My favorite is Mmm YYYY. I think it is much easier to read. The hyphens in the date range are not consistent. I'd leave a space on either side of hyphens in a date range.

I'd call the section Actuarial Exams. I'd get rid of the hyphens and would instead left-align the Passeds. I'd put the VEE here - "Met requirements for VEE Economics".

I'd leave only dates on the right margin. City, state can go right after the university/employer, separated by a comma.

I'd abbreviate B.A. I'd not use "expected". Having a date in the future will get that across that you haven't graduated yet, but if you feel like you need a word, use one that doesn't indicate that you're not really sure that you've gonna graduate. I'd leave off the "cumulative" and the "/4.00".

The QA bullets have the feel of being padded. Don't feel you have to write a lot. One thing you don't do is mention "phone" anywhere, which seems to be more important than Galaxy. "as well as" is never necessary and I'd leave it out. You can say exactly the same thing without it.

It sounds like you might be talking about two separate things in the first bullet. The first half seems to be the kind of thing most people think of for QA. In the second half, though, since you're talking about models already available in the market, it sounds like you're really talking about benchmarking. So I'd separate the two and I'd specifically say benchmark.

"various" is never necessary or helpful. All it says is that you're not telling us something. The second bullet seems to more or less duplicate the second. The only thing that distinguishes it is that the first is unclear as to whether it is hardward or OS or other software and the second mentions OS, but also refers to hardware. So big overlap and they really seem like they should be one bullet.

"reported" is never noteworthy. It is very awkwardly worded. And mentioning Excel here is pretty lame. It sounds like you're just filling in values on a sheet, which really is the most basic of Excel experience. The fact that you mention this basic experience is that that's all you've done in Excel, so you've effectively lowered my impression of your Excel skills here. Excel should be capitalized.

"participated" is a lame start. You participated by doing something and that doing something should be the point of the bullet. But here, it seems that your doing something is just a different aspect of the first two bullets.

"Logging" isn't noteworthy. It seems a completely obvious part of the job. Why would you test, then not log problems?

"a local", not "local a". I think this is another example where mentioning PP makes it a weaker bullet. It changes the impression from something much broader to simply making slides. I'd leave the PP part off. Also, I'd be careful of the use of "produced" when talking about broadcasting. It has multiple meanings and the reader could think you're trying to mislead with that word. If you were "the producer", that's totally fine, but then I might leave off the "and delivered". Actually, "delivered" is another one of those words I might avoid. It can imply some lack of control over what you've doing.

I'd probably use "Researched" rather than "Conducted research". "for varying topics" says nothing and I'd remove it. The wording of "identify authentic information" is awkward. So you were a fact-checker? Listing a frequency is never beneficial.

I'm not at all sure what the last bullet is about. It sounds *very* nebulous. Sometimes not giving enough info is good to get the reader's interest, but I think in this case it is more likely to make the reader think you're just BSing at this point - especially as your last bullet. Maybe you've got something good to say here, but I don't think this bullet is effective.

Having effectively two heading for the "additional" section is kind of weird. I'm guessing you didn't want to have the heading on the left wrap, so to say what you wanted you added a second heading on he right. I'd not do that. Computer skills are important enough that I'd not lump them in with the other stuff.

I'm not sure how much weight the TIA course carries in the reader's mind. Personally, I tend to weight use above classes. I'm not saying don't list the TIA course. But I think I would first just say how proficient I was in Excel, VBA, and SQL. Then mention the TIA stuff. It also would allow you to avoid the parenthesis, which I would try to do. Also, "Completed" rather than "Completion of".

Unless you're applying for a job where Korean will be the primary language, I'd list English first.

I'd avoid the parenthesis with the clubs, too.
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  #8  
Old 10-18-2018, 05:36 PM
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vjvj vjvj is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jwitt25 View Post
4) PDFs are better to remain anonymous. MS products have the ability to show the author's name in the properties section.
Although be aware that MS products can put that same information into the pdfs they create. Just because it's a pdf doesn't mean it doesn't have personal information in it.
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  #9  
Old 10-19-2018, 06:44 AM
wodn9257 wodn9257 is offline
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Default WOW I mean.. you are more than an angel.

Quote:
Originally Posted by vjvj View Post
Format looks ugly. If you did it without the borders, it would be a huge improvement, although you can still do better. It looks like the font is not consistent. I'd not use all the all-caps and I'd take it easy on bolding - ideally to focus attention where you want the reader to focus. Look at the sticky thread started by seattleguy for format examples.

Keep the goal simple. Adding the "that supports..." is a dumb constraint. You're talking about a temporary position, and focusing on support seems short-sighted imo. Plus, you've passed two exams. Are you really expecting to become an FSA during the internship? It makes no sense. Also, you're not seeking a "role" imo. Also, I'd try to avoid big and unusual words, especially when they seem awkward - attainment is one.

Your all-number date format is much harder to read than other formats. My favorite is Mmm YYYY. I think it is much easier to read. The hyphens in the date range are not consistent. I'd leave a space on either side of hyphens in a date range.

I'd call the section Actuarial Exams. I'd get rid of the hyphens and would instead left-align the Passeds. I'd put the VEE here - "Met requirements for VEE Economics".

I'd leave only dates on the right margin. City, state can go right after the university/employer, separated by a comma.

I'd abbreviate B.A. I'd not use "expected". Having a date in the future will get that across that you haven't graduated yet, but if you feel like you need a word, use one that doesn't indicate that you're not really sure that you've gonna graduate. I'd leave off the "cumulative" and the "/4.00".

The QA bullets have the feel of being padded. Don't feel you have to write a lot. One thing you don't do is mention "phone" anywhere, which seems to be more important than Galaxy. "as well as" is never necessary and I'd leave it out. You can say exactly the same thing without it.

It sounds like you might be talking about two separate things in the first bullet. The first half seems to be the kind of thing most people think of for QA. In the second half, though, since you're talking about models already available in the market, it sounds like you're really talking about benchmarking. So I'd separate the two and I'd specifically say benchmark.

"various" is never necessary or helpful. All it says is that you're not telling us something. The second bullet seems to more or less duplicate the second. The only thing that distinguishes it is that the first is unclear as to whether it is hardward or OS or other software and the second mentions OS, but also refers to hardware. So big overlap and they really seem like they should be one bullet.

"reported" is never noteworthy. It is very awkwardly worded. And mentioning Excel here is pretty lame. It sounds like you're just filling in values on a sheet, which really is the most basic of Excel experience. The fact that you mention this basic experience is that that's all you've done in Excel, so you've effectively lowered my impression of your Excel skills here. Excel should be capitalized.

"participated" is a lame start. You participated by doing something and that doing something should be the point of the bullet. But here, it seems that your doing something is just a different aspect of the first two bullets.

"Logging" isn't noteworthy. It seems a completely obvious part of the job. Why would you test, then not log problems?

"a local", not "local a". I think this is another example where mentioning PP makes it a weaker bullet. It changes the impression from something much broader to simply making slides. I'd leave the PP part off. Also, I'd be careful of the use of "produced" when talking about broadcasting. It has multiple meanings and the reader could think you're trying to mislead with that word. If you were "the producer", that's totally fine, but then I might leave off the "and delivered". Actually, "delivered" is another one of those words I might avoid. It can imply some lack of control over what you've doing.

I'd probably use "Researched" rather than "Conducted research". "for varying topics" says nothing and I'd remove it. The wording of "identify authentic information" is awkward. So you were a fact-checker? Listing a frequency is never beneficial.

I'm not at all sure what the last bullet is about. It sounds *very* nebulous. Sometimes not giving enough info is good to get the reader's interest, but I think in this case it is more likely to make the reader think you're just BSing at this point - especially as your last bullet. Maybe you've got something good to say here, but I don't think this bullet is effective.

Having effectively two heading for the "additional" section is kind of weird. I'm guessing you didn't want to have the heading on the left wrap, so to say what you wanted you added a second heading on he right. I'd not do that. Computer skills are important enough that I'd not lump them in with the other stuff.

I'm not sure how much weight the TIA course carries in the reader's mind. Personally, I tend to weight use above classes. I'm not saying don't list the TIA course. But I think I would first just say how proficient I was in Excel, VBA, and SQL. Then mention the TIA stuff. It also would allow you to avoid the parenthesis, which I would try to do. Also, "Completed" rather than "Completion of".

Unless you're applying for a job where Korean will be the primary language, I'd list English first.

I'd avoid the parenthesis with the clubs, too.
You are my savior. I WOULD take every single advice of yours and revise my resume for repost. Thank you I really do appreciate of your time and help.
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