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  #11  
Old 08-15-2017, 10:02 AM
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Originally Posted by Aspiring Act View Post
From what I have seen at all the jobs I have worked, the people with the excellent social skills are the ones who are promoted
Why is this presented as a negative?

At the places where I have worked, the people who get ahead based on "social skills" are very good at their job. Their job is not the same as the excel monkey's job. Their job - even if they oversee technical people - is to make connections between people and help people work better. Depending on the role, this may require a combination of technical and social skills, or it may just require social skills.

Complimenting your technical skills with social skills - whatever they are - will help your career. This is not a sign that the world is unjust.

Last edited by Woodrow; 08-15-2017 at 10:11 AM..
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  #12  
Old 08-15-2017, 10:06 AM
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In my opinion, a lousy worker with good looks and superior social skills > 200+ IQ math and programming genius who makes the company millions of dollars.
I think you are wrong about who makes the company millions of dollars.

I remember seeing a speaker who came to talk to our math club in college. this was a very bright interesting guy who had an interesting career path. ("After I taught school for a few years, I couldn't be intimidated by speaking to a corporate board.")

He worked at Oracle when he talked to us, and I remember he asked the audience what business Oracle was in?

Student: "You make databases"

Speaker: "No, our business is we SELL databases."
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  #13  
Old 08-15-2017, 10:06 AM
Internet Internet is offline
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Originally Posted by Woodrow View Post
Why is this presented as a negative, both in your post and - by implication - in the OP?

At the places where I have worked, the people who get ahead based on "social skills" are very good at their job. Their job is not the same as the excel monkey's job. Their job - even if they oversee technical people - is to make connections between people and help people work better. Depending on the role, this may require a combination of technical and social skills, or it may just require social skills.

Complimenting your technical skills with social skills - whatever they are - will help your career. This is not a sign that the world is unjust.
I'm not sure where you're getting that I believe this is a negative.

I'm just asking if it would be a better time investment if I learned SAS or if I went into local coffee shops and talked with random people.
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  #14  
Old 08-15-2017, 10:09 AM
Westley Westley is offline
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Why is this presented as a negative, both in your post and - by implication - in the OP?
I think because most of us have a story similar to Post #4.

If a guy's ugly and incompetent, he usually gets shown the door quickly. If he's good-looking and well-spoken enough, he gets shown the door to the executive suite instead.

Agree that it's definitely not all bad, and there's lots of work that gets accomplished by people who have the social skills to bring teams together. But, in general, I think the ability to "get by on a good story" allows such people to be lazy, and in general their incentives are then to do so.
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  #15  
Old 08-15-2017, 10:13 AM
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Originally Posted by Internet View Post
I'm not sure where you're getting that I believe this is a negative.

I'm just asking if it would be a better time investment if I learned SAS or if I went into local coffee shops and talked with random people.
You're right, I read something into your words. I've edited my post.

And while Westley questioned if the "coffee shop" approach is ideal, you could learn a lot about people if you actually do this and learn from your interactions.
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  #16  
Old 08-15-2017, 10:13 AM
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You can't really learn social skills. You can fake them, but that may or may not satisfy, depending on your business application.
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  #17  
Old 08-15-2017, 10:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Westley View Post
I think because most of us have a story similar to Post #4.
the guy in post #4 kept getting fired


I read...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aspiring Act
The good looking people and the schmoozers have it easy.
as sarcastic.
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  #18  
Old 08-15-2017, 10:17 AM
nonlnear nonlnear is offline
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Originally Posted by Sredni Vashtar View Post
You can't really learn social skills.
This is simply wrong.

Like any other skill type talent matters, and not everyone will be able to build social skills to the level of a smooth talking CEO, but anyone can improve a LOT by approaching socializing like any other learned behavior.
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  #19  
Old 08-15-2017, 10:21 AM
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This is simply wrong.

Like any other skill type talent matters, and not everyone will be able to build social skills to the level of a smooth talking CEO, but anyone can improve a LOT by approaching socializing like any other learned behavior.
I have a friend who decided to learn "social skills" to pick up girls. He started by reading lots of books, and went to some training sessions. Then he got in a habit of talking to strangers in various bars and clubs and cafes. Ultimately he succeeded in his quest.

But the chicks he bags are pretty dopey, and the persona he created is basically the fakiest sounding faker in the universe. His real personality is the same as it always was, and it is absolutely incoherent with the smile he puts on.

You can practice your charm, but it's really really really not the same thing as being social. In a corporation though, people are so inauthentic that it probably doesn't matter much.
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Sredni Vashtar went forth,
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His enemies called for peace, but he brought them death.
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Last edited by Sredni Vashtar; 08-15-2017 at 10:24 AM..
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  #20  
Old 08-15-2017, 10:25 AM
nonlnear nonlnear is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sredni Vashtar View Post
I have a friend who decided to learn "social skills" to pick up girls. He started by reading lots of books, and went to some training sessions. Then he got in a habit of talking to strangers in various bars and clubs and cafes. Ultimately he succeeded in his quest.

But the chicks he bags are pretty dopey, and the persona he created is basically the fakiest sounding faker in the universe. His real personality is the same as it always was, and it is absolutely incoherent with the smile he puts on.
You are overfitting to one data point. He decided to learn how to create a fake persona as a manipulation tool. It is possible to learn social skills without learning how to be fake. In fact, one can learn social skills in ways that make one's interactions even more profoundly genuine.
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