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  #111  
Old 09-13-2018, 06:42 PM
jas66Kent jas66Kent is offline
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Originally Posted by djdadude View Post
Jesus christ, is there any hope for marriage in the 21st century?
Sure. Don't get married too young, or don't get married because you think it will fix your relationship. That right there covers a huge portion of divorces from what I have observed.

In the long run, if you end up marrying a woman who is also your best friend, and you can be yourself with her, then I would say that that kind of marriage will tend to go the distance.
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  #112  
Old 09-13-2018, 09:33 PM
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Sexist how? I suppose if one thinks Sting is saying all women are this way, then it would be sexist. I think he's telling the story of how one can land in a relationship where they never seem to live up to expectations, and how draining it is.

Below are the lyrics for those who are curious. Also, if you like funny songs about relationships, that same album has a great song called "Seven Days."
You might notice that SBS didn't say that the song was sexist . . . nor that many do . . . only that *some* would.
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  #113  
Old 09-13-2018, 10:42 PM
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You might notice that SBS didn't say that the song was sexist . . . nor that many do . . . only that *some* would.
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  #114  
Old 09-14-2018, 10:34 AM
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Yes, she was a TV personality.

To expand on what JAS said.

We got married young (25 me, and 22 her). We really were best friends, but as we grew up we changed in different ways. I'm not sure I changed all that much, but she definitely did. We also went through a lot of really tough losses together which shaped how we looked at life and our relationship.

You can get married young, and it can work, but I think it's just that much harder. Apparently there is a lot more growth between 20-30 than either of us realized. I also believe that a couple needs a project. Most people choose kids, but it could be a business, travel goals, church, whatever. But you need something to work on together, and we didn't have that. IMO.

It's weird thinking about her. I'm really upset, angry, sad, etc about the situation. But I don't hate her for this. I really don't. It took a lot of courage to tell me she was unhappy. Not sure I could've done that.
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  #115  
Old 09-14-2018, 10:50 AM
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Small sample size, but in my close circle of friends, I know 3 people who got married when they were right out of college (22-24 age range). All 3 got divorced, 1 was after 2 years and 2 were ~4 years.

All those couples got together in high school and were together throughout college.
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  #116  
Old 09-14-2018, 10:53 AM
Super Silver Haze Super Silver Haze is offline
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I also believe that a couple needs a project. Most people choose kids, but it could be a business, travel goals, church, whatever.
Interesting.
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  #117  
Old 09-14-2018, 10:59 AM
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I don't know about that. Having kids as a "project" to bring you closer to your spouse probably isn't the best idea.
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  #118  
Old 09-14-2018, 11:07 AM
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I don't think I would use the term "project" but I think it's extremely important to have common goals that you share. Ideas or lifestyles that you are working toward together is something that I feel is important.

Metaphorically speaking, I think you want two people that are traveling through life in the same direction and not traveling apart.
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  #119  
Old 09-14-2018, 11:13 AM
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I think Chronus phrased it a bit better than myself. Maybe project isn't the best word, but yall understand what I'm saying.

Dang, we made it way longer than your friends greenman. This was year 8.
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  #120  
Old 09-14-2018, 11:17 AM
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Originally Posted by radoaos View Post
I think Chronus phrased it a bit better than myself. Maybe project isn't the best word, but yall understand what I'm saying.

Dang, we made it way longer than your friends greenman. This was year 8.
I was just getting caught up on the thread. Good luck with all of the changes that you are going through. That much going on at once can be really hard but it sounds like you have the right attitude about it all. Keep it up and build the life that will make you happy.
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Originally Posted by Uma Karuna View Post
I find men are pretty simple creatures, actually...just figure out what they like (BJs, chicken pot pie, good scotch, whatever) and then give them lots of it, and they're pretty compliant.

Manipulating women...now THAT's hard. Probably because most woman have no clue what they like.
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