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  #1  
Old 02-26-2008, 07:22 AM
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Default Don'tBeAnActuary.SeriouslyGuysDon'tDoIt.Com

I found this interesting article today

http://www.shrubberyjones.com/2008/0...do-it-dot-com/

William Pearse

If you’re a high school or college student that can understand how to multiply two numbers without having an aneurism, you’ve most likely been told by one of your teachers that you should consider being an actuary. You were probably told that you would make a shitload of money, that you could name your own hours, or that your skills would be so invaluable as to force executive management to fellate you twice daily. Like all things in life (except Anne Hathaway having a great rack), what you have been told is far from accurate. In this article I will dispense with the top three myths about this profession.

1. Actuaries love their jobs.

False. In order to become an actuary you need to take a series of tests offered twice a year each requiring 300-400 hours of studying, most of which are spent outside of work. As of the writing of this article, it takes an average of 8.5 years to finish all your tests. That’s 5950 hours you will need to study to become a designated actuary. By the time you’re done your tests, you’ve become desensitized by studying until 10pm every night and thus don’t mind when the boss needs 3 times the amount of work that any normal human could ever complete in a 40 hour week. That’s like finishing the 1/4 mile run in gym class and then getting hung by your underwear on the field goal post by the football players, which coincidentally is a vivid memory in most actuaries’ minds.

2. Actuaries are insurance mathematicians.

To call an actuary a mathematician is like calling a fifth grade science fair winner a physicist. It’s insulting to real mathematicians who actually use math to solve problems. If you know what a ratio is, congratulations! You’ve just fulfilled the academic prerequisites to being an actuary.

If you’re into solving high order differential equations or dabbling in complex analysis, please do yourself a favor and consider another career path. Try seeing if your head can wrap between your thighs and fit all the way into your ass; if it can, leave it there. This is a good hiding place from the real world. Get a Ph.D. in math so you can spend 6 more years as a college student, then the rest of your life solving problems that no one will ever care about. Even though you will be slightly less useful to society than a public toilet in Manhattan, at least you’ll be happy.

3. Actuaries are not nerds.

If you’re talking to an actuary (i.e. short white or Asian man with a bad comb-over, calculator holster, and a slight eye-twitch), he will attempt to discredit my parenthetical stereotype by saying that actuaries are “fun” or “unique” or “bad ass motha****az.” This is a trick! ALL actuaries fit EVERY stereotype that has ever been written about them. They are boring, socially awkward people who are incapable of talking about anything besides work. Try asking an actuary what the last good movie he’s seen was. When he answers “Pi” or “I can’t remember I’ve been working 80 hours a week since I was 23″ walk away and never look back.

I hope this serves as a warning to all you wide-eyed students out there who have been told by some dumbass math teacher who doesn’t know shit about the business world that actuaries are the greatest. Being an actuary is like waking up next to a fat sweaty man named Massimo every day, then getting punched in the kidneys by everyone you see on the way to a fifteen man orgy where you are the guest of honor. I can’t think of a more accurate depiction.
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Old 02-26-2008, 08:08 AM
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1 Not true the job is very challenging and exciting.
2 True kind of, Higher math goes into alot of the theory but not the practice. This is changing however with finacial engineering techniques entering practice. We don't claim to be mathematicians.
3 True, we are nerds but handsome and studly nerd.

I also agree that Anne Hathaway's rack is fantasitc.
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Old 02-26-2008, 08:14 AM
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That's funny. Pi was a pretty awesome movie though.
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Old 02-26-2008, 08:22 AM
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That was not funny, but Pi was still a great movie.

This author sucks. He says don't be an actuary just because you can multiply two numbers without having an aneurism. BUt then he warns, like it's a bad thing, that being an actuary is not all about solving high order differential equations. Guess what, brainiac: I don't want to do math for a living. That's why I like being an actuary, because I like easy math. Your second "con" is actually a "pro" for a lot of us.

Like I said, this author sucks.
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Old 02-26-2008, 08:26 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by William Pearse
If you’re into solving high order differential equations or dabbling in complex analysis, please do yourself a favor and consider another career path. Try seeing if your head can wrap between your thighs and fit all the way into your ass; if it can, leave it there. This is a good hiding place from the real world. Get a Ph.D. in math so you can spend 6 more years as a college student, then the rest of your life solving problems that no one will ever care about. Even though you will be slightly less useful to society than a public toilet in Manhattan, at least you’ll be happy.
Yeah, that was my experience of math grad school.

Which is why the last clause turned out to be unworkable... hard to be happy when no one cares about your work and you're not paid much for your trouble of teaching disgruntled undergrads.

Also, you don't get nice raises for passing exams.

Totally right about the geekitude, though. Let's keep glamour-seeking math students out! No cool kids in our clique!
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Old 02-26-2008, 09:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sanki View Post
1. Actuaries love their jobs.
What does it mean to "love" your job? I wouldn't be going to work every morning if I didn't need the paycheck......does this mean I do not love my job?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sanki View Post
By the time you’re done your tests, you’ve become desensitized by studying until 10pm every night and thus don’t mind when the boss needs 3 times the amount of work that any normal human could ever complete in a 40 hour week.
I agree with this statement.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sanki View Post
2. Actuaries are insurance mathematicians.
Actuaries are insurance financial modelers (not mathematicians)

Quote:
Originally Posted by sanki View Post
3. Actuaries are not nerds.
They are boring, socially awkward people who are incapable of talking about anything besides work.
Sadly, this is sometimes true. My personality changes dramatically when I am studying 4 hours each day + full day of work.
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Old 02-26-2008, 09:04 AM
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Pi is a graet movie... same with that other movie that guy made... I just can't remember the name

Back in high-school, I loved doing all these math problems, so I was told to go into act-sci. But as I started doing differentials and crap classes like that, 2 became a pro to me. Also, if the prelime require 400 hours of study, why can anyone that can multiply 2x2 do them?

The pros that he mentioned are still pros. You make boat-load of money (for what you have to put into it), and even as a student I do get fellated twice daily (well people are busy around here, so sometimes only once, but I survive)
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Old 02-26-2008, 09:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Requiem View Post
Pi is a graet movie... same with that other movie that guy made... I just can't remember the name
Darron Aronofsky, Requiem for a Dream
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Old 02-26-2008, 09:15 AM
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Quote:
Even though you will be slightly less useful to society than a public toilet in Manhattan, at least you’ll be happy.
so does that make you really useful? I think public toilets in manhattan are probably pretty useful. At least for the George Michael Crowd.


No, the REAL George Michael. The one who uses public toilets for fun!



OH YEAH!
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Old 02-26-2008, 09:18 AM
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an awful lot of truth there. I used to get to read a real book and see a real movie about twice a year, after exams. nothing about his background, but he isn't credentialled, maybe wiped out early or something
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