Nursery Rhymes

[mother goose]

When I was young, I learned Humpty Dumpty this way: The ending said:" All the king's ....couldn't put humpty dumpty back together again."

Now, a co-worker told me that the new version he is reading to his kid says ;" was able to put humptydumpty back together again."

Why was it changed? Kids can't handle a cracked egg?

So, what other old nursery rhymes have been PC-ized?

[General Kenobi (ret.)]

I hope that got garbled in the translation. Otherwise, it's not only stupid, it's an offense against the King's English. (Or is that an oppressive and patriarchal phrase?)

They couldn't put Humpty back together. Anyone who says differently is an agent of Satan (or Barney...I always get those two confused).

========
Now...here's the not-so-well-known second verse to a very well known first:

Jack & Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after.

Then up Jack got and home did trot
As fast as he could caper.
They put him to bed
And plastered his head
With vinegar and brown paper.

[Crystal Dragon.]

I second that - something got lost in the translation.

[Maine-iac]

Pretty sad version of Humpty Dumpty.

I'm pretty sure "Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater" has vanished altogether from modern texts of Nursery Rhymes.

Even More J&J

Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water;
Jack fell down and broke his crown,
And Jill came tumbling after.

Up Jack got, and home did trot,
As fast as he could caper,
To old Dame Dob, who patched his nob
With vinegar and brown paper.

Then Jill came in, and she did grin,
To see Jack’s paper plaster;
Her mother whipped her across her knee,
For laughing at Jack’s disaster.




<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Maine-iac on 2001-12-03 09:53 ]</font>

[Actuary321]

I remember Humpty Dumpty this way:

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
All the King's horses and All the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

The timing is all off if you try to say Humpty Dumpty in the last line, isn't it?

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[mother goose]

Bob Hope's version of Jack and Jill(I was told):

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
each with one quarter

When they went down
Jill had 50 cents
Do you think they went to fetch water?

[Minerva]

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down
And broke his crown
While Jill came tumbling after.

Up Jack got
And home did trot
As fast as he could caper.
He went to bed
To mend his head
With vinegar and brown paper.

Jill came in
And she did grin
To see Jack's paper plaster.
Mother, vexed,
Did whip her next
For causing Jack's disaster.

(Doesn't really follow that Jill caused it just because she laughed, but Mother must have had some reason to believe so.)

Alternate version:

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
Each had a dollar and a quarter.
Jill came down
With two and a half;
They didn't go up for water.

[Ron Weasley]

Mary had a little lamb,
it's fleece as white as snow.
One day she passed the butcher shop,
but the lamb went by too slow!

[Minerva]

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor daughter a dress.
When she got there,
The cupboard was bare
And so was her daughter, I guess.


(Shades of college - I apologize, but just had to get it out since it was going round and round in my head.)