It takes me 1+ hour(s) to get my 2 year old to bed

[Hal Coldvice]

Any ideas? Can I assume that other parents have had the same problems? Please share experiences.

Here's the story. I have a boy that turned two in April. He's the oldest, we also have a 6 month old daughter. We would love to just leave him in his room, but he can open the door. So, we've been locking it after we put him down. He gets 2, sometimes 3 books read to him, which he loves.

All bedrooms share a common hallway. Bedtime/naptime used to be so easy, you'd put him down in his bed, he'd go to sleep. Now, he plays games with us. One thing that I see as an issue is that he still has a pacifier (which he only uses for sleep time). We planned to take this away in April, but our daughter was sleeping so crappy, that we wanted to wait until she got better. Well, she's gotten a ton better at sleeping and my son has gotten worse. If we take the pacifier away, he screams. If we give it to him, he'll toss it aside or slide it under his door and let us know we need to get it for him. We usually don't give in until we absolutely feel we have to: wake up baby, screaming, tired cry.

Last night, I had enough, he finally went to sleep at 9:15 (bedtime is 7:45). He woke up this morning en route to daycare and was the crabbiest little kid alive. Mrs. Coldvice and I would love to fix his sleeping habits, but is there anything I can do with this 2yo?

I'm thinking I have to put him in his room and let him work it out (without a pacifier), he'll fall asleep eventually, right? We just don't want him bothering his sister. Going to bed later is not an option Mom and I would like to explore, with these two little ones, after 8pm is quiet time around the house.

[gadzookz]

What time does he wake up and is there an option of waking up earlier?
How many naps does he take and for how long? Is there an option for making them shorter (or making sure no naps after a certain time)?

[Hal Coldvice]

On daycare days, which is 2 per week, he gets up at 7:00-7:30. Yesterday, was a daycare day, so he got up early and went to bed late. Today, was another daycare day. Otherwise, when Mom is home, he usually sleeps til 8.

His naps are in the middle of the afternoon and they are not longer than 2 hours. He's always been a great sleeper, so I'm not sold that he needs less sleep. I wonder how long he sleeps at daycare though. We've told her no more than 2 hours and waking up by 3pm. We need to talk to her again.

[Mr. Penguin]

My son was done with the pacifier by 4 months, so I can't speak from experience. But I'd take it away and keep it away. If he screams like a maniac for a night or two, so be it. Might be a good time for your daughter to visit grandparents? He's playing a game with you and he's winning.

I assume he's out of his crib? Did you transition him when your daughter was born?

As for the door, I don't think locking a door is ever a good idea. Have you tried one of these?

[Hal Coldvice]

Originally Posted by Mr. Penguin

My son was done with the pacifier by 4 months, so I can't speak from experience. But I'd take it away and keep it away. If he screams like a maniac for a night or two, so be it. Might be a good time for your daughter to visit grandparents? He's playing a game with you and he's winning.

I assume he's out of his crib? Did you transition him when your daughter was born?

As for the door, I don't think locking a door is ever a good idea. Have you tried one of these?

The lock on the door, locks from both sides, so I'm not worried about it. It would serve the same purpose as the item in your picture. Plus, we are selling the house right now, so I'd like to have less of that baby type crap as possible.

Yes, he's out of his crib. We got him out at 16 mo's, about 3 months before his sister was born. That transition went surprisingly well and he didn't get out of his bed for a really long time.

The pacifier will be gone tonight, but that ain't gonna help him go to bed. We also noticed that he's getting his 2yo molars. Already has 2 and the other two are visible. But I don't think that's why he won't go to bed.

[Mr. Penguin]

Originally Posted by Hal Coldvice

We also noticed that he's getting his 2yo molars. Already has 2 and the other two are visible. But I don't think that's why he won't go to bed.

Maybe it's not why he won't go to bed, but it sure ain't helping!

Try some Children's Motrin...should help with any pain he's feeling as well as help knock him out.

[UNCORRELATED LAY]

Originally Posted by Mr. Penguin

As for the door, I don't think locking a door is ever a good idea. Have you tried one of these?

Why? We went through the same problem as the OP at about the same age. We also subscribed to the no locking the door idea.

However, one week we left my parents in charge of the kids (while we went to the CCA meeting) and my parents turned the lock around so it locks from the outside. After about a month of my son realizing he can't just walk out of the room when he wants, he learned how to fall asleep on his own.

Now we don't use the lock, but are very grateful that we did.

[The President]

Originally Posted by Hal Coldvice

On daycare days, which is 2 per week, he gets up at 7:00-7:30. Yesterday, was a daycare day, so he got up early and went to bed late. Today, was another daycare day. Otherwise, when Mom is home, he usually sleeps til 8.

His naps are in the middle of the afternoon and they are not longer than 2 hours. He's always been a great sleeper, so I'm not sold that he needs less sleep. I wonder how long he sleeps at daycare though. We've told her no more than 2 hours and waking up by 3pm. We need to talk to her again.

And bedtime is at 7:45? I know nothing about kids, but 13-14 hours of sleep a day sounds like a lot. This site says 10-12 hours for a 1-3 year old. I think he probably just isn't tired.

[Lucy]

You need to figure out what the problem is:

Originally Posted by The President

And bedtime is at 7:45? I know nothing about kids, but 13-14 hours of sleep a day sounds like a lot. This site says 10-12 hours for a 1-3 year old. I think he probably just isn't tired.

I think this is likely. If that's the problem, maybe you can teach your older one to play quietly in bed at night.

I am the oldest of a pack of kids. My mother desperately needed "naptime" well after I had outgrown it. So I used to have a "play nap" every afternoon. I listened to records or played quietly with blocks in the living room while the little ones napped and my mother had some free time.

If it's more about your kid wanting his parents, you might try lying down in bed with him while he falls asleep. (What, not teach him to sleep in his own! Yeah, so what?) My son didn't like being left alone in his bed after his older sister moved to her own room, so after story time, one of us lay down in bed with him until he fell asleep. That usually only took 10-15 minutes. Once he fell asleep we just tip-toed out of the room. (Unless we were overtired and fell asleep, too. Happened more than once.) He grew out of needing that at about 4, then when he was 5 and 9/11 happened, he wanted us to sleep with him for a few more months. He sleeps fine on his own, now.

If it's really just a control issue, then the sitting quietly and firmly putting him back to bed may be the thing to do.

If it's physical discomfort from the teeth, some tylenol or motrin would help.

If he's an insomniac, there may not be any way to get him to sleep, but you ought to be able to teach him to lie down quietly after bed-time.

But you haven't told us enough to know why he's doing this. Then you can figure out the best way to help your kid and get your evenings back.

[Jack]

1 mg 1/2 hour before bedtime. Works like a charm