Putting my 2-year old to bed: PART 2

[Hal Coldvice]

A few months back we had a discussion about bedtime. Part 1

Well, things improved after maybe 1 week to 10 days after I started Part 1 of this battle and I figured that some things I took from this thread worked. Well, one day, my kid decided that he didn't want to go to bed for us anymore. We are at wits end.

Maybe for about 3 weeks now, bedtime is a struggle. So much so that last night, me and mom went to bed before junior did. Not sure what to do, but thought I'd stop by here to see what people had to say about my new situation.

Things were rolling. We took the pacifier away, it didn't take to long for him to forget about it. Cool, he's going to bed. Then one night, he runs circles around us in his room. We struggle with him that night for an hour and half or so and realize that maybe he slept-in too long or took too long of a nap. His bed time has reached 9:30-10pm. And its not that he isn't tired, because he's a major ass in the morning, crabby and hard to wake up. If he hasn't had enough sleep, he'll be extra crabby all day long and do things he shouldn't. We figured he'd learn or even be tired that night and want to go to bed. Nope.

Last night he went to bed about 10:15. Not sure how, cause I'd given up and my wife went to deal with it. I have resorted to walking in his room and putting him back in bed. For a couple weeks he'd actually just hop out of his bed, turn on his light and head back to bed to read to himself. He wasn't bothering any of us. A couple nights ago, he ruined a couple books and repeatedly turned on lights well after he was instructed to go to sleep. BTW, he turns on his light, but isn't tall enough to turn it off. All his books have been removed. There isn't anything for him to do in there, but now he screws around with his blinds, looking out the window. I usually see the light go on and I go in and turn on the light. He can't be afraid of the dark, b/c I'll leave the hall light on and keep his door cracked. He'll even hop out of bed and slam the door.

This kid needs more sleep and needs to doze off by 8:30 every night, but how do we do it? We think we just have to sit in his room and watch him fall asleep. Anyone have any experiences with this? I didn't want to do this at first, but I'm going to waste just as much time turning off his light and putting him back to bed. Mom and Dad need their evenings back.

[L. Mo]

try the "Rescue Me" method - benadryl. jk!

[Egghead]

Put him back in a crib? Then he can't run all over the place like he is doing now. Maybe then he'd be too bored to stay awake?

My suggestion, FWIW: Put him down, say good night as sweetly as you can, and then just ignore him. If he screams, tell him he's okay and that it's time to go to sleep. Ignore him for 15 minutes, even if he does scream. Repeat.

Sounds like a tough situation. Good luck!

[Alto Reed on a Tenor Sax]

At one point, when my son first learned to crawl out of his crib, I would stay in his room and physically force him to stay in his bed. He was extremely willful, and for a handful of nights, I was actually pinning him (gently enough, but firmly) to the bed by both his shoulders and his knees, for 30-45 minutes (maybe longer) before he finally gave up.

This sounds harsh, and it wasn't fun, but it has paid dividends ever since, because he figured out then that he will not win a battle of the wills with daddy, because daddy can out-stubborn him every time.

Maybe that's why he listens to me so much better than to his mommy.

I don't know if this is the right approach for you, I am just sharing my experience. PM me for further discussion.

[Loner]

And upside-down crib makes a great kiddie prison.
Just sayin'.

[Gentle Giant]

I personally don't think reading the books is such a big deal, per the post in Part 1:

Originally Posted by schleprock

Letting him "cry it out" for a couple of nights is probably essential, no matter what route you go.

We have a 3yo that suddenly decided to stop going to sleep peacefully after about a year of doing so. What ultimately worked was allowing him to have "quiet time" in his bed after stories. Instead of putting him in bed, shutting the lights off, and leaving the room (as we were used to doing), he had the option of sitting in bed w/ a few books with the lights on low for ~30 min or so. If he fussed, we'd pull out the ol' "I guess it's time for lights-out...you must be too tired for quiet time". Almost always, that would get him to sit quietly in bed. Most nights, he'd just fall asleep during quiet time, and we'd come back later and shut the lights off.

If he's destroying some books, give him sturdier books. We don't let ours (turns two on Sunday!) have anything other than thick board books in the crib. He has his fill of more vulnerable books (e.g. pop-up, or just plain thinner pages) outside the crib (learned that one the hard way).

Eventually he'll have to catch up on sleep. Meanwhile, you and yours should be able to get your quiet time.

If he's destroying the more durable books, I don't know what to tell you, although I'm sure you know enough to expect that to happen occasionally regardless of your child's temperament.

[Hal Coldvice]

Originally Posted by Egghead

Put him back in a crib? Then he can't run all over the place like he is doing now. Maybe then he'd be too bored to stay awake?

My suggestion, FWIW: Put him down, say good night as sweetly as you can, and then just ignore him. If he screams, tell him he's okay and that it's time to go to sleep. Ignore him for 15 minutes, even if he does scream. Repeat.

Sounds like a tough situation. Good luck!

Crib: Not a feasible option. We have the house on the market, we don't have a crib (nor do we want to get one) He's been in a bed for a year now. AND, he's very capable of getting out of most things called a crib.

Each night, we put him down, say good night and ignore him. he screams, we still ignore (he hasn't really been screaming) Repeat, we've done of lot of repeating. It takes away our whole evening. We've even put up a gate at his door. He absolutely hates it and screams his head off. I usually make a deal that if he goes to bed, I'll take the gate down. He still won't go to sleep.

[Loner]

Originally Posted by Hal Coldvice

Crib: Not a feasible option. We have the house on the market, we don't have a crib (nor do we want to get one) He's been in a bed for a year now. AND, he's very capable of getting out of most things called a crib.

Each night, we put him down, say good night and ignore him. he screams, we still ignore (he hasn't really been screaming) Repeat, we've done of lot of repeating. It takes away our whole evening. We've even put up a gate at his door. He absolutely hates it and screams his head off. I usually make a deal that if he goes to bed, I'll take the gate down. He still won't go to sleep.

There's your problem right there. No negotiating.

[Hal Coldvice]

Originally Posted by Gentle Giant

I personally don't think reading the books is such a big deal, per the post in Part 1: If he's destroying some books, give him sturdier books. We don't let ours (turns two on Sunday!) have anything other than thick board books in the crib. He has his fill of more vulnerable books (e.g. pop-up, or just plain thinner pages) outside the crib (learned that one the hard way).

Eventually he'll have to catch up on sleep. Meanwhile, you and yours should be able to get your quiet time.

If he's destroying the more durable books, I don't know what to tell you, although I'm sure you know enough to expect that to happen occasionally regardless of your child's temperament.

I don't think reading books was a big deal either. Until I find him in his room starting to screw around again at 9:30 or 10. I don't need to hear him running around up there and slamming doors. If he wants to sit in his bed and read fine, but he still needs his sleep. I even gave him one of the simple lights that you can pop on and off. It came in a two pack and he broke out the batteries one night. So I have him the other one with duct tape so he couldn't get in there, but he still did and broke that one.

He did severly bend one of the more tougher durable books we have. He even showed it to me last night and said, "uh-oh. I broke book."

[Hal Coldvice]

Originally Posted by Loner

There's your problem right there. No negotiating.

After I put up the gate, he will cry hysterically. I let him do that for 10 mins or so and come back in, lay him down and take away the gate. It usually works to get him to stay in bed. Last night, he wailed when we left the room. Then, he won.