The aliens have landed (a thought problem)

[Rockhound]

On a far distant planet lives a race of sports loving, betting loving, aliens who have been observing the American sports scene. Eventually getting tired of just watching, they decide to intervene in a not too obtrusive way.

The plan is to send several groups of coaches, GMs, front office people to earth. Basically these would be all the folks necessary to run a team--but not own it or perform on it.

Through their alien magic, these people will be instantly installed in their positions, and no earthling will know they are aliens nor notice that even after many years they don't particularly age.

After their installation (and other than the aging), there will be no more alien magic, but these alien humanoids will be better than the best human at their craft. Not alien-better, but the best imaginable by humans. People will say "he's really really good at his job, the best of all time", but they won't say "gosh there's something magical, or cheating, going on there".

The aliens plan to send these "teams" to be installed to run the worst franchises/teams/programs in all of sports, with the goal being to win a championship. The teams they are sent to, are not necessarily the ones that had the worst record last year, but the ones that are the furthest from being able to win a championship—that is the toughest management jobs.

The aliens back home have established the over/under line on how many years that will take for each of the sports.

My question to the AO is what teams will they be sent to manage, and what will be the over/unders?

[Rockhound]

Here's Rockhound's not well thought out first pass at it, in order of the over/under lines:

NFL: Miami, 3 years
NHL: Columbus, 5 years
NBA: Memphis, 8 years
MLB: Pittsburgh, 20 years
D1-A College FBall: Army, 40 years
D1 College BBall: Longwood, 115 years


My thinking is that in the salary cap pro leagues, improvement could happen relatively easily. NBA takes a little longer because of the need to catch up to teams that already have strong teams that won't decline for a few years, because of the small number of players on a team.

The colleges are hard to turn around. It requires changing the perpective of reqruits, convincing the universities to give you more money, and in the case of Longwood, finding a conference, then eventually moving to a better conference, and so on. For the College Fball I was thinking of something like Florida Int'l, but given schools like So. Florida, it really can be done faster at a regular institution, the structural things at Army are probably tougher.

[a5chen]

Toronto Maple Leafs

[Schnook]

Detroit Lions: over/under - 50 years

[Bison]

I think what Boston has done this season (and the Heat a few years ago) shows that over/under for a team with the specific goal of winning a title should probably be under 8 years, IMO. If they're trying to be a "successful franchise" going forward, that changes things, but with the stated goal of winning a championship, I think that could be even more like 4 or 5 years.

[Exiled Man]

The best possible football coach could take any current NFL team to the Super Bowl next year.

Baseball: The Tampa Bay Rays. 2 years.

Basketball: New York Knicks. 6 years.

Hockey: First they'd have to send the best possible commissioner to prevent the entire league from folding.

[Commander Keen]

Originally Posted by Exiled Man

The best possible football coach could take any current NFL team to the Super Bowl next year.

[Kohl]

Originally Posted by Rockhound

MLB: Pittsburgh, 20 years

It is not out of the realm of imagination that this team could win this year.

[Kohl]

MLB: Baltimore Orioles are the longest shot due to division and lack of prospects. It would take them five years to recover.
NFL: Oakland Raiders are the longest shot due to Al Davis. They could win in two years. However, my answer will be the Atlanta Falcons. It will take them four years to recover.
NBA: New York Knicks would take five years to recover.
NHL: Any team could potentially win with excellent management in one year.

[Requiem]

Originally Posted by Exiled Man

The best possible football coach camera crew could take any current NFL team to the Super Bowl next year.

Hockey: First they'd have to send the best possible commissioner to prevent the entire league from folding.

IFYP.

And, ARGH, I hate Bettman