This girl asked me for advice

[Listeria]

Messed up situation.

Tell her she deserves better than some guy comparing her to his ex once she's given up something so big to him -- so soon after. She's obviously too inexperienced to know this. This guy is mistreating her and she is buying into it and desperate to fix things by "earning" his affection. If she isn't a vulnerable person, and I bet she is, she is in a vulnerable spot or state right now.

[Agadefe]

Originally Posted by MAX.

Do any of you know many girls that waited until their 20s to lose their virginity? This list doesn't seem very strange to me at all... although, I'd change #3 a bit to 'being insecure about her performance enough to ask for detailed instructions (especially after the guy mentioned something an ex gf did that he thought was awesome)

I don't know many. Off the top of my head, I know three. Two for religious reasons. One is married, one went the promiscuous route. Non-religious one "just didn't find the right guy" for a while, then found him and was very shy about sex for a while.

I couldn't imagine any of them having such a nonchalant reaction to their first time though, as to discuss it with a borderline acquaintance in graphic detail.

Originally Posted by orion

I agree with Max. Almost all my female friends were 20+ when they lost their virginity. It's far more common than you think. It also makes sense that she's asking for advice out of insecurity. We'd need to know more details about how she asked/what kind of advice she was looking for.

And we don't know if she was ok with his comment (nor should she be, that was a real DB thing to say), she may have gone to the OP to see if she had a right to be uncomfortable with it.

Perhaps you are correct

The juxtaposition of "just met her" and "described in detail her thoughts about sex to me on Facebook chat", just didn't mesh with "virgin" in my head.

If the OP was a good friend of the girl and the OP was "she felt insecure about what bf said and came to me asking for details" that's one thing. The OP implied she casually mentioned that and then went right into teh sex talk.

[Agadefe]

Originally Posted by Nucky

So I know this girl through a friend. She was a bridesmaid at my buddy's wedding, and that was when I met her for the first time. Another friend tried to hook up with her but couldn't seal the deal.

Anyway, we were talking on Facebook last night. She had recently gotten into a relationship, so I congratulated her on that. She told me that she lost her virginity 2 weeks ago to the guy. I never would have thought she was a virgin, but I guess you never know. Anyway, she asked me for advice on sex, because she wanted her boyfriend to enjoy it as much as possible, and she was kinda inexperienced. She got pretty explicit.

I'm not sure what to make of it, so I ask the AO's advice

The bolded is what makes me

[The Drunken Actuary]

Originally Posted by orion

I agree with Max. Almost all my female friends were 20+ when they lost their virginity. It's far more common than you think. It also makes sense that she's asking for advice out of insecurity. We'd need to know more details about how she asked/what kind of advice she was looking for.

And I don't think she was ok with his comment (nor should she be, that was a real DB thing to say) and probably went to the OP to see if she had a right to be uncomfortable with it.

Ok, fine you convinced me. this could be legit.

[Buru Buru]

Originally Posted by Agadefe

If the OP was a good friend of the girl and the OP was "she felt insecure about what bf said and came to me asking for details" that's one thing. The OP implied she casually mentioned that and then went right into teh sex talk.

Maybe she doesn't have a lot of good friends or she doesn't have any good friends who are guys in order to get a guys perspective. He said that people tend to open up to him, so it makes sense to me.

[Listeria]

Originally Posted by Agadefe

If the OP was a good friend of the girl and the OP was "she felt insecure about what bf said and came to me asking for details" that's one thing. The OP implied she casually mentioned that and then went right into teh sex talk.

Tons of young women are ashamed of either their inexperience or their insecurity. Actually tons of non-young women are. This boyfriend of hers has probably made this worse. She sounds desperate to maintain her status with him. Or the OP is trolling or someone is trolling him. Here, you never know.

[Cheezy]

max and orion... I'm guessing you were teenagers in the 80's? times have changed, pretty much everyone I know and know now had lost their virginities by the time they left HS, or at the latest first year of college. I find it strange when girls in their 20's are virgins. I usually call BS if someone says this... it's like taking home a girl for a one night stand and her saying "I feel so bad, I've never done this before" - clearly BS, they all say it and they all have done it before.

[Listeria]

Originally Posted by Cheezy

max and orion... I'm guessing you were teenagers in the 80's? times have changed, pretty much everyone I know and know now had lost their virginities by the time they left HS, or at the latest first year of college. I find it strange when girls in their 20's are virgins. I usually call BS if someone says this... it's like taking home a girl for a one night stand and her saying "I feel so bad, I've never done this before" - clearly BS, they all say it and they all have done it before.

Did you miss the part where she comes from a religious family?

[Cheezy]

Originally Posted by Listeria

Did you miss the part where she comes from a religious family?

I did, went back and read better... thanks. Makes more sense now... but why is she giving it up to this DB that's talking about his x? doens't jive.

[Sophia Petrillo]

Originally Posted by Cheezy

max and orion... I'm guessing you were teenagers in the 80's? times have changed, pretty much everyone I know and know now had lost their virginities by the time they left HS, or at the latest first year of college. I find it strange when girls in their 20's are virgins. I usually call BS if someone says this... it's like taking home a girl for a one night stand and her saying "I feel so bad, I've never done this before" - clearly BS, they all say it and they all have done it before.

just because you hang out with slutty people doesn't mean that there aren't exceptions in the country.