Asking Permission / letting them know

[Patience]

asking the parent is making a come back

asking permission - means you wouldn't if you don't get it, like asking for marriage, you pretty much know the answer

asking blessing - not the same, less sexist in my mind, but just as respectful

telling them before - semantic, but somewhat less than the other, as you totally don't care what they think. At least for the prior you may take same action, but want there ok as well.

[Wasp]

No need to parse words. They all mean the same thing.

Also, I don't think asking for marriage, you pretty much know the answer. There are many proposals that get shot down. You may think you know, but come on, what man really knows what a woman is thinking.

[asdfasdf]

Originally Posted by Wasp

No need to parse words. They all mean the same thing.

Also, I don't think asking for marriage, you pretty much know the answer. There are many proposals that get shot down. You may think you know, but come on, what man really knows what a woman is thinking.

http://www.actuarialoutpost.com/actu...er.php?u=25847

[sllagnire]

Asking for their blessing is not asking for permission. Asking for a blessing is basically saying "I'm doing this anyway, but would like it if you were on board."

[campbell]

Originally Posted by JMO

There is something highly sexist about asking permission, it's as if the parents own the daughter.

I think it's cute...if the people involved are young. (and no, it's not really asking permission)

So it was cute when my bro-in-law approached my mom about it, when he and my sister were both in their early 20s.

I would not have thought it cute if Stu had done it (given he's essentially the same age as my stepdad).

[The Arbitrary]

Originally Posted by JMO

There is something highly sexist about asking permission, it's as if the parents own the daughter.

They don't own the person, they own the right to claim the dependent on their taxes. That's actually what my father-in-law said.

[ao fan]

Originally Posted by The Arbitrary

They don't own the person, they own the right to claim the dependent on their taxes. That's actually what my father-in-law said.

by the time most of the women i know got married, they weren't still being claimed on their parents income taxes. not sure how this isn't considered sexist anyway.

[CNN]

Originally Posted by campbell

I think it's cute...if the people involved are young. (and no, it's not really asking permission)

If it's not asking permission, why not just do it AFTER you've proposed? I would question the character of any man who asked my 'permission' to marry my daughter before discussing it with her first.

[asdfasdf]

Originally Posted by CNN

If it's not asking permission, why not just do it AFTER you've proposed? I would question the character of any man who asked my 'permission' to marry my daughter before discussing it with her first.

Aww, come on, you can get more offended than that!

Sheesh, haven't any of you "yes" voters seen "The Fiddler on the Roof". As Tevye marries off his daughters, the first asks permission, and Tevye has the power to say "yeah" or "nay". He says "no" to the second daughter's finance, and is informed that he doesn't have any say, but they would like his blessing. The third couple weds despite knowing he won't bless them.

I guess that "asking permission" is a ritual in some circles, so people do it even though they don't mean it, like atheists go to church on Easter because they like the ritual aspect. But they aren't really asking permission at all, if they think what they are doing is equivalent to asking for a blessing.