Women Need to Improve to Contend

[Anthemyst]

I don't know about leaning in, but if a guy seemed as excited as a puppy getting a bellyrub to be making awkward polite conversation with me solely because I'm a woman, that would be a pretty big turn off.

Re: Asking for permission, it's all about body language and active consent. So if I'm really into what's happening and the guy keeps uncertainly asking if what he's doing is okay, that's probably gonna kill the mood. I guess if you're incapable of reading nonverbal cues you're better off being safe and checking, but I'd think most guys could handle it. The problem's less with guys asking for permission and more with guys who will ignore it when a woman is obviously uncomfortable or heasitant because they've bought into the idea that women are just doing that so they won't seem 'easy', not because they're actually uncomfortable.

[SliceApproximateIntegrate]

Originally Posted by Agadefe

Wait what's wrong with #1? You've stopped seeing guys because they leaned in when they were talking to you? Wtf? I thought that even if women did reject you for something like this, it was a subconscious thing, not like "uh-oh, this guy is leaning in to hear me a little too close, better move on the guy that has better posture".

All the tips are quite oversimplified, and #1 and #2 kinda contradict each other. #1 basically says respect her bubble. #2 basically says don't ask for a kiss/dance, just go for it. Clearly, there's something between respecting her space and lips locking. There's a transition, but I haven't thought about how to describe the transition well enough yet.

#1 is a problem when I've just met a guy, and he's getting a bit too close - I haven't given him cues that it's okay to get close. OTOH, #2 becomes a problem after giving tons of cues that he can/should make a move.

[SliceApproximateIntegrate]

Originally Posted by Super Silver Haze

Last time I didn't ask a girl for permission, it went fine, and then it was suggested to me afterwards (by a different girl who wasn't there) that I might have raped her, and then I felt like shit. True story. I guess an alpha is supposed to be like "So what if I did?"

So yeah, there's a lot of times where I feel like I live on a different planet from a lot of you guys.

Yeah ... I cut out a lot of his explanations because they were kinda long. But his examples of what to just go for were dancing, kissing, and her number. I mean there's some amount of dancing/getting her number that she does need to give something. You shouldn't just pick her up over her shoulder and twirl her around to dance or steal her phone and call yourself to get her number. But there are less timid ways to ask for those things that are way sexier.

[Super Silver Haze]

Originally Posted by SliceApproximateIntegrate

I mean there's some amount of dancing/getting her number that she does need to give something. You shouldn't just pick her up over her shoulder and twirl her around to dance or steal her phone and call yourself to get her number.

Oh okay, kind of like how it's a bad idea to buy her a drink without telling her you're doing it, then holding her mouth open and pouring it in.

[Serena]

Originally Posted by ao fan

i think you can read her body language for that. for sticking your penis in a hole that it hasn't gone before, i think you need to ask permission.

But "May I stick my penis in your hole?" is definitely a mood killer.

[ShebaPoe]

Originally Posted by Anthemyst

Re: Asking for permission, it's all about body language and active consent. So if I'm really into what's happening and the guy keeps uncertainly asking if what he's doing is okay, that's probably gonna kill the mood. I guess if you're incapable of reading nonverbal cues you're better off being safe and checking, but I'd think most guys could handle it. The problem's less with guys asking for permission and more with guys who will ignore it when a woman is obviously uncomfortable or heasitant because they've bought into the idea that women are just doing that so they won't seem 'easy', not because they're actually uncomfortable.

You'll know if she wants to do something you also want to do. You don't need to ask.

You'll also know when she doesn't.

This shit is pretty simple.

I am going to have a taco now.

[Serena]

Originally Posted by ShebaPoe

You'll know if she wants to do something you also want to do. You don't need to ask.

You'll also know when she doesn't.

This shit is pretty simple.

For most guys, you would think that it would be, and it probably is. But actuaries do tend to tip the Aspergers scales a bit. So some here might have genuine difficulty in reading the cues.

[smekta]

Originally Posted by Serena

But "May I stick my penis in your hole?" is definitely a mood killer.

If she says no, then follow up with "May I then stick my penis in the other hole?"

[Serena]

Originally Posted by smekta

If she says no, then follow up with "May I then stick my penis in the other hole?"

Good plan! Let us know how that works out!

[SliceApproximateIntegrate]

Originally Posted by Serena

I hate pick-up games and relationship games.

I don't mind a guy who's a little shy at first and I'll take a guy who's a little awkward over a dooshnozzle-playa-wannabe any day of the week and twice on Sunday.

A guy who is secure with himself (even if a little shy) and who is fun and who is HONEST about who he is and is genuinely interested in getting to know me >>>>>>>>>> a dude who reads Roosh and tries to follow his advice.

Some people do play it as a game sure. E.g. Roosh How many times have you overheard guys saying stuff like: Look how many numbers I got last night! Man, I banged this super hot chick once! One weekend, I had sex with five different girls!

But there exist tons of guys who are under the impression that nice guys always finish last. And there isn't a good reason why this should be the case. They keep on failing at the first and most trivial task along the journey: getting a girl to look at them that way. So, I of think of it more as making yourself more marketable for dating.