What to do when all options have been exhausted?

[Peetie Skunk]

Originally Posted by undegaussable

Why? Has he been poor? Does Sheba have any idea what it's like to do the things he suggests?

Has he driven a cab or worked as a retail manager or delivered pizza (are you frickin kidding me)? I'm guessing from the fact that he recommends them over "donkey work", the answer is no. What nightmares those jobs are... my friend is a retail manager, he makes about 2/3 what I do, works twice the hours, and never gets to take vacation. As for taxi driver and delivering pizza, good luck paying the bills with any of those jobs on their own, you'll need a second and third job. This is why I call Sheba an ignoramus.

Everyone's different, but for me, I am very happy where I am, having a job that is

• Indoors
• Air conditioned
• I can take a break for coffee/food/bathroom whenever I want
• Mostly 8 hour days
• Pays an order of magnitude above minimum wage
• Paid time off
• Benefits like health insurance

And I know that I am better off in a job with those things because I have had many jobs that were none of those things. I'm guessing people who think the grass is greener on the other side (where people deliver pizzas for $5 an hour, or bust their ass in real manual labor as I've done) have never been there.

/rant

I have no idea if Sheba has been poor or if he has worked those crappy jobs or not. I do know that Sheba and I have both shared a similar career prior to our current careers that some would see as tough, crappy, poor hours, low paying, etc., but one never knows how future opportunities arise. That particular career led me to where I am, and I'm sure it has been a factor in Sheba's success too.

During my prior career, I got to do a whole lot of thinking about what I wanted to do with my life and how I was going to get there. I took the opportunities as I saw them arise, didn't look back, and never made excuses and it has worked out for me. OP, listen to Sheba. Brother knows what he's talking about.

[alphatmw]

Originally Posted by ShebaPoe

Bro

It's not about me. My advice isn't better or worse because I started middle class and now I'm rich. Likewise, growing up poor doesnt confer any wisdom either. My advice is useful advice because I control my life by controlling my time, and I've never been happier. Today I did exactly and precisely what I wanted to. And that is awesome, and I'm 36 not 66.

We all have our own path to happiness, and if corporate work, a regular schedule, a reliable income and the accompanying comforts is your path to happiness, then enjoy every second of it. But, does it sound like pursuit of that path has produced satisfaction for the OP? The dude is joking (um, you are joking yes?) about killing himself and is highly stressed. That's not a happy person.

So I've laid out other ideas to other paths. When you're not getting what you thought you'd get from your actions, it's time for a change.

if you don't mind sharing, what do you do and how did you get there?

i'm wary of people lauding your advice without more context.

[ShebaPoe]

Originally Posted by alphatmw

if you don't mind sharing, what do you do and how did you get there?

i'm wary of people lauding your advice without more context.

It's been discussed on here many times, my friend. It's also totally irrelevant to this thread. And I put my money where my mouth is; if this OP needs to chill in my condo for a while, it's there for him. That wasn't BS.

[alphatmw]

Originally Posted by ShebaPoe

It's been discussed on here many times, my friend. It's also totally irrelevant to this thread. And I put my money where my mouth is; if this OP needs to chill in my condo for a while, it's there for him. That wasn't BS.

i don't think it was BS, but i disagree that context is irrelevant when someone is trying to absorb advice.

Originally Posted by undegaussable

Has he driven a cab or worked as a retail manager or delivered pizza (are you frickin kidding me)? I'm guessing from the fact that he recommends them over "donkey work", the answer is no. What nightmares those jobs are...

Delivering pizza is a crappy job. Retail manager? Depends on who you are and what you like. I think I'd hate it. But I have a friend who recently trained to be a dental hygienist, but she can't bring herself to apply for a job as a hygienist because she's having so much fun being the night manager of a McDonalds. She know the other one is the "better" job, but it's hard to leave something when you enjoy it and the bills are getting paid.

[abt5]

Originally Posted by Lucy

Delivering pizza is a crappy job. Retail manager? Depends on who you are and what you like. I think I'd hate it. But I have a friend who recently trained to be a dental hygienist, but she can't bring herself to apply for a job as a hygienist because she's having so much fun being the night manager of a McDonalds. She know the other one is the "better" job, but it's hard to leave something when you enjoy it and the bills are getting paid.

she's probably just chatting with her friends there and thinking of how to spit in the burgers. no wonder my stuff come so delayed at night

[Colonel Smoothie]

We need more details here before we can call your case hopeless, I tried searching for your info but most of your posts seem to be about sports so, forgive me for being ignorant:

1) How many exams do you have? Credentialed?
2) What did you do at your actuarial job?
3) What were the "mistakes"? We would like to know so we don't end up in the same boat.
4) Post your resume so we can critique it.
5) Can you route internal cabling and calibrate Di2 shifting?

[neofan]

Originally Posted by abt5

she's probably just chatting with her friends there and thinking of how to spit in the burgers. no wonder my stuff come so delayed at night

One of my buddies' son worked at Burger King and he would not touch food at BK despite being given away. Besides spitting the cooks routinely had other human body fluids attached to the burgers (let's omit the details here).

I worked at retail health for years before my first actuarial job, I actually enjoyed certain aspects of the job despite many other negatives until I realized I couldn't keep doing this any more.

Originally Posted by Colonel Smoothie

We need more details here before we can call your case hopeless, I tried searching for your info but most of your posts seem to be about sports so, forgive me for being ignorant:

Being out of work for 18 months I don't think this would matter. It's nice for someone to offer him shelter (provided it's serious) but OP needs to get back into action by taking any job, even if it's part-time at retail/fast food, I did it for years and it helped building my people skill, think of it as part of the training needed to succeed in the corporate world. Tutoring is a bonus for extra income, then gradually transition into better paying job(s). Forget about pride, it doesn't pay the bills.

[Woodrow]

Originally Posted by Bicycle Repair Man

People tell me they think I'd be a good teacher. But I don't think I'd particularly enjoy it. Maybe it's worth a try.

What about teaching abroad? I have some friends who have done that. It seems like you can either teach english to locals, or teach the children of Americans living abroad. Easier to get a job like that than in your local public school. If that sounds appealing, I can get you more info. It might be a fresh start for you.



In general, I like the idea of stepping away from where you thought your career was and reexamining where you might like to go. I can think of several of my friends who have reinvented their careers or had interesting ones from the start

Example 1: Taught in Vietnam (in the 90s, when it was less open than now), married a local, taught in prep schools in Boston and Equador and now in Shanghai

example 2: engineeer -> personal trainer -> yoga teacher -> opened her yoga studio -> the biggest baddest yoga person in a major city

example 3: worked on congressional campaign, worked in the capital, went to eastern europe to help spread democracy or something. Made an indpendent film while living in eastern europe, married a local

example 4: degree in linguistics, went back for masters in computer science, works at Microsoft (okay, that's not that unique of a career)

example 5: cubicle monkey, harvard grad school, dropped out, currently does improv comedy and writes music reviews for the local paper and national news websites

Most of these options do not involve big bucks in the beginning, or in some cases, ever. but they are all examples of people I know doing what they want and not following the obvious path for them

[asdfasdf]

Originally Posted by abt5

she's probably just chatting with her friends there and thinking of how to spit in the burgers. no wonder my stuff come so delayed at night

Chatting with her friends sounds like a decent job.