D-I-V-O-R-C-E

[Shmaxuary]

Does anyone out there know if there are limits on the percentage of income you can be obligated to pay in alimony (or more specifically, alimony + child support). For instance, would alimony + child support be limited to 50% of net income....40%....60%. The reason that I'm asking is that the only mention that I can see on the web of how alimony is set says that it is set so that the spouse can maintain the living standards that they have become used to during the marriage. But it seems like a lot of the time there would not be enough money to keep the spouse at the same lifestyle and allow the other spouse to live in anything other than a cardboard box.

I realize that it probably differs by state, I'm just curious what sort of laws are out there. Let's just say that a friend of mine is having marital difficulties.....

[Homer]

Mmmmm ... living in a cardboard box.

[Lee Mellon]

Get a voracious lawyer and feed him. You'll feel rotten now but much better later. You can always voluntarily contribute more later, but you'll never get a pass to pay less. Figure that you'll never see your paycheck again, either. State law rules. Pick your forum if you can.

[Mulan]

Better yet, see if you can talk to your spouse and agree quietly. You'd both save a lot of money and be happy you were mature people. If there are children, they'd be better for it.

I disagree with Lee, do not get a lawyer with a mission. His/her job will be to forward his/her cause, NOT do the best by you and your family.

[Loner]

I don;t know about alimony, but I think it is true that there is no cap on child support, and the amount you "owe" could theoretically add up to more than 100% of your gross. NY and NJ charge, I believe, a flat percentage of gross income for each child. In one of the states(I don't know which) it's 17%.
Note that child support is NOT deductible. Alimony is.
I know of someone who employs full-time a man with 6 kid (by 5 different women), and he gets paychecks of under $40 after child support and taxes.
Edited to add : someone I know basically gave up his share of the house and agreed to set aside a hefty chunk for college for the kids in exchange for no alimony.
I thiknk they're entitled to more alimony if they stayed home and took care of the kids, since they sacrificed some growth in earning potential.

[Lee Mellon]

I tried it Mulan's way and got neither. Sure, try talking and agreement first, but if you could agree why are you looking fot the exits?

[Troy McClure]

Having seen both sides (and thankfully never been in the situation), I will agree with both Lee and Mulan. Try to reach a reasonable agreement as to what's fair (and in the best interests of the children, if any), then get a lawyer to draw up the agreement.

At the first sign that it is going to turn ugly, get the meanest ******* you can find. If you try to be nice and fair, and the other person is not, you will be very sorry. One friend (just to pick an example) got divorced after two years in which he supported her through school (she had less than $10,000 of income for the entire marriage). As a parting gift, she got the rest of school paid for, including living expenses, etc. He thought they could reach an agreement, while she knew she had to fight to get as much as possible, since she needed the money. He wanted to be nice, and she helped herself to a double-helping of his stuff.

Ironic side note: the money came from the new job that he took that paid a lot more than his old one, but required him to travel, and she blamed him for the break-up because he was always traveling, which is why she cheated on him. So, she resented the new job, but was glad to take the money from it.

But, fighting is an expensive way to go, since lawyers eat up a lot of money, so if you can be amicable and friendly, that's the best.

Good insurance analogy: Insurance company offers $50,000 to settle the claim. Plaintiff gets an attorney and gets $90,000, $60,000 after attorneys fees. Everybody (but the lawyer) would be better off if they would just settle for $75,000 with no lawyer involved.

[Mulan]

Originally Posted by Lee Mellon

I tried it Mulan's way and got neither. Sure, try talking and agreement first, but if you could agree why are you looking fot the exits?

Well, I have to go with the voice of experience - I've never been divorced. I supposed that people who want to exit the relationship may still like or respect their spouse, but I suppose I am wrong about that - it's pretty much "hate" then???

I don't like the societial attitude that "she's" out for "all she can get" and he'll be left with nothing. It is a FACT that two households will be more expensive than one and that neither side will be as well off financially afterwards. To expect differently is selfish. Maybe you should stay and work it out.

[Troy McClure]

Originally Posted by Mulan

I don't like the societial attitude that "she's" out for "all she can get" and he'll be left with nothing. It is a FACT that two households will be more expensive than one and that neither side will be as well off financially afterwards. To expect differently is selfish. Maybe you should stay and work it out.

If that's a response to my post, I just want to be clear: she's not always the one looking to take all his money, that's just the case in the one example I cited. If I get married, I plan to marry somebody that makes a lot more money than me, so that when we get divorced, I can cash in!

[Griffin 1]

Originally Posted by Troy McClure

... which is why she cheated on him.

How does she cheat on him and still wind up with all that stuff?