Things that movies teach us

[E. Blackadder]

Things that movies teach us

[From Sojourners Magazine, via Progressive Review's undernews]

1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people, whether they are employed or not.

2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.

3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.

4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.

5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts: Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

6. If you are blonde and gorgeous, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22. [note: "female" is implied here. How sexist!]

7. Honest and hard-working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

8. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.

9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off - even while scuba diving.

10. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German or Russian officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German or Russian accent will do.

[Bertie Bott]

When being chased by bad guys inside a tall building, don't worry about jumping out of a window. There will always be a large truck carrying soft materials passing by to break your fall.

[Drewby]

Disney told us that...
1. You can be a thief and a liar and still get everything you want.

[The Mister]

<font size=2>Which movies did that? I know, I'm just too lazy to search my own memory.

Lady and the Tramp?

[Phil]

#8 - LOL!

I would add:

11. Any electronic appliance can, in desperation, be rewired to perform any other desired function.



<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: Phil on 2001-10-02 11:15 ]</font>

[Lara Croft]

To The Mister --

Aladdin comes to mind.

On the Disney theme, how about:
-All stepmothers are evil
-You will meet your Prince Charming and live happily ever after at the age of 16.

[Guerilla poster]

Hugh Hefner principle: The old gentleman always gets to bed a young and beautiful women.

You don't ever see Michael Douglas bedding let's say Faye Dunaway.

Oh wait, Michael douglas does get the younger woman in real life too.

[Patience]

all Asians speak with a time gap between their lips moving & the words being heard

[Han Solo]

* When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

* It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

* You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

* The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

* A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

* If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.

* If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

* Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.

* Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn thes teering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments.

* All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.

* A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.

* If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.

* Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.

[ASA_Woman]

LOL! I loved all of Hans Solo's list ;D