Gifts for your spouse

[CJL]

Anyone else have trouble trying to figure out what to get for your spouse for a gift (birthday, Christmas, etc.)?

I often come up with a lot of ideas, but we tend to buy the things we want/need when we think of them, so all of my good ideas are gone by the time the event rolls around.

We've never really gotten each other anniversary gifts for that very reason. Instead, we go to a nice restaurant, or see a play, or something like that.

Same problem with telling others what I want for Christmas - I usually just go get what I want myself. Last year, I even refrained from buying things Oct thru Dec so I could tell my family to get those things for me.

Anyone else have the same problem? What do you do?

<font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: CJL on 2001-10-03 13:05 ]</font>

[Gretchen]

Yes, we have the same problem. We solved it after a year or two by just not buying each other gifts anymore. (I had some precedent for that - my parents never bought each other anything, either).

In terms of telling other people, I do similar to what you do. The last few months of the year if I think of something I would like to have, but it's not an urgent need, it goes on the list, and I just don't buy it. (I do my best to make my husband do the same, but he's a little more impatient than I am to go buy whatever he wants....).

One thing we've done a couple of years (and want to get back to) is to say that instead of giving each other gifts, we spend the money for a charitable purpose. Especially at Christmas, you can find all kinds of groups looking for sponsors to get gifts for needy families. That's sort of a nice way to 'honor' your spouse (or others), without buying something just to buy something.

I'd actually like to do that with my whole family (other than the kids), but when floating the idea past mom (to whom Christmas is a HUGE deal....), it went over like a lead balloon. Maybe we'll still do it for other family members on the alternate years that our entire family doesn't get together.

[Dr T Non-Fan]

I recall a few years ago when I returned every present I received. One of them was world peace. I'm tough to buy for, I guess.

I tell my wife my sizes, and she forwards the info to the interested parties. Or lately, it's DVD's that I'd like to own, but won't buy myself.

My wife tells me a few things that I want, then I get a few of them for her. She also throws out obvious hints that I'm supposed to listen to. I pretend that I don't.

[WQN]

My husband and I gave up gifts years ago. We treat ourselves to at least one weekend a year together (no kids) and one full week. I'd rather spend the money that way. We also buy for a "needy" child at Christmas. I realized this year that it was a bit more difficult explaining that to my five year old. She said "why do we have to get the little girl a gift, won't Santa Claus know where to find her?". I told her that Santa needed our help he had so much to do that night. Anyway our family gets into the "giving to others" every year. (I'd like others to give to the needy in the name of my children - they don't need another electronic toy, something that only those who don't have children would purchase)

[Preppy]

We don't give gifts to each other anymore. We haven't in years. Birthdays, we go out to dinner with the kids. Anniversaries, we go out to dinner without the kids. Christmas, we just buy something we need for the house. We just save our money and go on nice vacations with the whole family. We really have no need for too many material things. Those that I need, I like to buy myself.

[Don Quijote]

Regarding giving to those who need it most, I recommend Angel Tree, a program for helping the families of prisoners.

Regarding stuff for the spouse... you can never go wrong with chocolate. For more substantial occasions, we also do vacation trips. And for a real big deal (like a birthday that ends in zero), I´ll send her (by herself! no kids! no Don!) to visit one of her good friends or sisters. She always comes home happy.

[Traci]

I thought the "Angel Tree" program was just for needy kids - I didn't realize it had anything to do with kids of prisoners.

[Gretchen]

There may be more than one variation on the Angel Tree. I know my sister coordinates the Salvation Army angel trees for her company, and I don't believe it does have anything to do with prisoners.

[Slick]

Just an idea: take the parent(s) of a needy child shopping, and let them buy presents (at your expense) for their children. Not only does the child get to enjoy the gift, but the parent gets to enjoy selecting the gift for their child. My wife and I have done this for years in lieu of exchanging gifts, and have received more blessing than those we have helped.

[Don Quijote]

Traci and Gretchen.. you´re right. A quick Net search turned up not only the program I´m familar with, but one from the Washington post, and one from a junior league in Little Rock, (among others) neither of which appeared to be particularly associated with prisioners. I guess it´s just a nice name. Still recommend it.