Exams and Significant Others

[wat?]

As much as I've gathered so far, these two don't mix. (Unless you're both actuarial students, which bodes well. Competition aside, of course.)

Assuming that your significant other has no experience with the actuarial exams, how do you relate the time and effort needed to get past these? Case in point, my significant other had a "You're-not-paying-enough-attention-to-me" tantrum the day before the C2 exam. I understand it's still a preliminary exam, but what's to stop this from happening before Course 5 or 6? It seems like I can't depict the situation clear enough. Granted, she's a English graduate student that couldn't give less of a crap about anything math-related.

[Wigmeister General]

Originally Posted by wat?

As much as I've gathered so far, these two don't mix. (Unless you're both actuarial students, which bodes well. Competition aside, of course.)

Assuming that your significant other has no experience with the actuarial exams, how do you relate the time and effort needed to get past these? Case in point, my significant other had a "You're-not-paying-enough-attention-to-me" tantrum the day before the C2 exam. I understand it's still a preliminary exam, but what's to stop this from happening before Course 5 or 6? It seems like I can't depict the situation clear enough. Granted, she's a English graduate student that couldn't give less of a crap about anything math-related.

Tell the SO to buzz off. If it happens again, take a room at the hotel nearest the exam.

You might get very lucky -- (1) you might pass the exam, and (2) you might come home to a house without an SO, who is unsupportive.

[2M]

My spouse is not an actuarial student and is in full support of the exams.

[wat?]

Originally Posted by 2M

My spouse is not an actuarial student and is in full support of the exams.

See, there's the thing - 2M, I'm not doubting you (or your significant other) at all, but does he/she understand the amount of time it takes? I'm guessing the answer's yes if they are in full support, but I don't want to offend/insult you by assuming so.

More anecdotal evidence: I started to look at materials for the next exam (another preliminary one), just to psyche myself into seriously studying soon. "Why are you studying so soon? Spend time with meeeeeee...." It's as if actuarial exams are a mistress - everything pertaining to it--all conversation/actions about it--must not be brought up.

[persephone_ashes]

my SO has also been very supportive. As long as you tell them up front that your exams are going to take up a bunch of your time I think that you are reasonable to expect them to not throw day-before-the-exam-tantrums...

some friction has got to be normal. any time you and the SO have an argument the X hours you spend a day studying is bound to come up. I've encouraged my SO to take certification tests for his profession so we can study together, or he'll come sit next to me while I study and do his work. If he gets really annoying then I send him to play computer games in the other room...

I think it would be very hard to have a "needy" SO but I don't think its impossible to find an accomodating one...

[zeus1233]

Your SO has probably taken a large test of some kind--be it the ACT, SAT, CPA, LSAT, etc. Remind him or her that this is as important to you career as the CPA, CFA, or the bar exam is for other professions and it determines your future--pay, etc. Plus that you won't have time to spend with him or her if you have to keep taking them because your SO is crazy. The key here is communication--as long as her SO knows what you are doing, why, and is told about this in advance it should be alright. Tell you English graduate spouse that it isn't about what is on the exam; its about what it means for your future. A weak analogy is that it is like you have a checkup on your dissertation with your mentor and that if it isn't satisfactory you have to do it all over again.

[2M]

Originally Posted by wat?

See, there's the thing - 2M, I'm not doubting you (or your significant other) at all, but does he/she understand the amount of time it takes? I'm guessing the answer's yes if they are in full support, but I don't want to offend/insult you by assuming so.

More anecdotal evidence: I started to look at materials for the next exam (another preliminary one), just to psyche myself into seriously studying soon. "Why are you studying so soon? Spend time with meeeeeee...." It's as if actuarial exams are a mistress - everything pertaining to it--all conversation/actions about it--must not be brought up.

I even have two kids and yes my spouse is 100% supportive. My spouse is aware that career advancement and exams are tied pretty close together. My study schedule is set up to have family time every day. Takes some time-management skills but, you can do it.

The support system also might depend on the strength of the relationship as well.

[wat?]

2M, I applaud you and others that take exams with a family, complete with rugrats. I don't have a family dependent on me (and really don't plan on starting one until the exam process is near over), so it's considerably easier for me. Also, she's not a "spouse"...just a SO. I won't break it off over this (a little too trivial for me), but I've explained. I get, "Why do you work so much?"
(I have two jobs, one of them actuarial, plus the exam studying. I didn't get official study time with the company because I'm still a college student. Taking 2 exams this past November brought everything to a head.)

I'm not blaming her at all for the outburst...just wondering if there was another way to circumvent the problem sans conflict right before the exams.

[2M]

If you don't want to break up with her - you shouldn't.

I would just try to talk it out and explain what the exams are going to mean to your career. If she is supportive great, if not, then it may be about compromise. Try to find a way you can pursue your career goals and still make her happy. Definitely not easy to do.

[Purple Princess]

Originally Posted by wat?

As much as I've gathered so far, these two don't mix. (Unless you're both actuarial students, which bodes well. Competition aside, of course.)

even this doesnt always work. i found myself having "youre not paying enough attention to me" tantrums even though i was studying for an exam myself. :o

i'm a terrible gf