To parents: How to abuse your own kid?

[boohoo]

Now that I do not have to think of exams
for a while I need help from parents.

Are there any games/patterns that I could use to make our first (soon to be born) kid gifted? Any good books on this subject? Basically, I want my kids to be good at math. I know how to manipulate them once they are about 2yrs old. I want to know how to do it as soon as (s)he is born or even before that.

There was a mention in Cheers (Frasier's kid)
a while ago about using some geometrical shapes in black and white in the crib.

PS: My title is just to have some shock value

PPS: If you are not a parent and have no experience with kids but have a witty thing to say, use another thread please.

[MathGuy]

I don't think you can "make" your kid gifted. If you and your spouse are a couple of nimrods, then all the black-and-white toys and cuisernairre rods in the world ain't gonna help.

[Oh Yeah]

And the evidence suggests...

[Single Mom]

I recommend that you ask your baby's pediatrician for advice. Also, I think "Parent's" and some of the other magazines rate toys about this time every year - just in time for Christmas shopping!

[Oh Yeah]

Yeah, ask your baby's pediatrician "How can I make my child gifted?". That'll get a nice note added to your chart.

Here's a thought. Instead of saving for college, why don't you go ahead and start a therapy IRA for the little tyke.

[Dr T Non-Fan]

I'm a parent, AND I'll attempt to be witty. No request against that.
1. You can't make a child gifted. That's just a small matter of definition. But proceed if you think you can change nature. Also, you won't know what your child's gift is for quite some time. Try not to project your own wishes. "The Cardinals are going to need some left-handed pitching in 20 years!" "He'll be a champion swimmer when he grows up!" Crap like that.
2. Hope for a low-traumatic birth. Don't want no left-handers dying early on you and your retirement plans. (Unless you're a Cardinal fan.)
3. The first week/month/year is for bonding purposes. No matter how much baby screams, cries, wimpers, poops, pees, gets sick, etc., you or your spouse or a significant family member (someone you can't fire) must be there for baby. It will be easier to detect the gift if you're watching.
4. Don't get divorced. Nothing to do with giftedness, but it sure can mess a child up. Wait until the kids die.
5. Hold your baby as much as possible. Don't just leave him/her in a stroller watching from afar (defined as more than one foot). Or carry them in a carrier that also doubles as the car seat.
6. Pay attention to your child. Nothing is more important except safety.
7. Don't try to quiet baby in public areas. It's the public, and people should realize the risk of going out in public near babies. Quieting baby using bribing techniques gives the child the gift of manipulation. Crying babies aren't like barking dogs, whose leashes can be yanked. Crying babies waste all their energy, and fall asleep faster.
8. Breast feed until the teeth come in. After which they're back in daddy's hands. Mmmm.
9. No TV. There may be no hope for you, but your child must be protected. There's nothing on TV that can help any kid up to age three. If you don't believe me, watch some kids watching TV. Zombies, I tells ya.
10. Play classical music. Not Pearl Jam, no matter how much you like them. Not loudly either. Just the popular Mozart stuff, like "Eine Kleine" or #40 (cell phones come with that), or the Horn Concerto.
11. Buy a piano. Cheap and used for starters. Learn to play it yourself, should the child not be interested. Piano's are linear, which makes for a good start.
12. Don't let your child use a calculator.
13. Don't let your child use a computer, unless he plans to fix it himself. Start him off on DOS, have him create his own programs. (Is this even possible anymore? I guess Linux provides some opportunity.)
14. Analog clocks, not digital.
15. Don't bundle up baby unless you're bundling yourself up. (Recall that Danish family accused of child abuse abandonment in NYC on a cold day.) Baby needs to dissipate heat caused by thinking and learning, and won't catch colds as often as grandparents think. As soon as baby is walking, you can dress him same as you would dress. (Where I live, I've seen babies wrapped in blankets in 100 degree weather. Just frying the brain, IMO.)

I could go on and on. And I often do.

[The Mister]

On 2001-11-02 13:14, Dr T Non-Fan wrote:
15. Don't bundle up baby unless you're bundling yourself up. (Recall that Danish family accused of child abuse abandonment in NYC on a cold day.)

<font size=2>No I don't... I'm curious.

[Oracle]

Re #10 in DTNF post, there's no reason to wait. Arrange to have mama's tummy reasonably close to the loudspeaker. If she's good at the piano, have her play it for the baby. (A friend of mine did that. Papa's a killer computer programmer, mama's a professional musician. Baby is clearly gifted, and parents thing the prenatal music definitely helped.)

[Dr T Non-Fan]

"Gifted" comes from nature. The degree of eventual giftedness comes mostly from nurture.

I've heard that it's very hard to hear in there.

Your sample of one has an unusually high variance. Shadow, you should know better. (Not that my ideas have any merit, nor anectdotal evidence.)

[Traci]

When my first was born, (3 years ago), I listened to classical music while pregnant - (even if it did nothing for her, it was relaxing for me!).

Then - for the first year - everything I read said, "Talk to them - Read to them"

So I did - I talked constantly to her all day - which is a tough habit to get into - just describing things around her, what we were doing, etc. (counting EVERYTHING)

Most experts are referring to little hard-page picture books for babies - I didn't know that. So I began reading full-length Dr. Suess books to her from birth - the rhythm of the words is supposed to have an effect.

Her favorite book was the Dr. Suess ABC Book. At about 6 months, she could identify all of her story books by name - if I named one, she would crawl to get it. She said, "Mama" at 5 months.

By 15 months, she had the vocabulary of a 19-22 month old (15-20 words). By 17-18 months, she could say the alphabet, (and identify letters out of order) and count to 20. She also talked in 2-3 word sentences.

I worked with her a lot, and I think it has helped her academically. Her younger sister is more in the normal ranges for her age - I blame my lack of working with her as much.

My kids do watch too much tv - but it has not hindered their development, IMO - there ARE good programs for kids on PBS and such. My 3-year-old also has a computer - there are some good games for kids out there. She does quite well at those aimed at 4-6 year olds. She is on par academically with where I was when I started kindergarten.

I don't think you can MAKE a child gifted - but you can begin developing skills from birth. That said, the most important thing for a baby to learn is that s/he is loved.